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I'm glad you like those ideas and actually it took quite some time for things to start making more sense that I see from videos and things in my sangha. I think my health in general is better and I have more stamina to read all kinds of things not just Buddhism things. I feel like I have been blessed to reduce drinking and many other things that helped my health and I think I built back to reading like a muscle where my mental illness things I had let that muscle go a bit while just getting through a lot of mental stuff and life stuff and left schooling which had prior to that kept my reading skill good. Being part of this forum was great for me too and I remember when it would be like really hard for me if a post had more than one paragraph to exercise that muscle. So feeling happy and grateful and with any luck I can keep it going for awhile and read some interesting things and be present in my meditation and things.
And cittamatra can be translated as mind only. And I also find that a bit odd to think the world is all thoughts. But it is the cittamatra and not the skhandamatra. Citta is something different from the skhandas. Actually my therapist who is not Buddhist has said that he thinks all sorts of things including physical and plants have vibrations that are beings. I don't exactly believe that or understand his perspective but I can listen to him talk and enjoy hearing and I think he is a very insightful person. My teacher wrote a book about death practices and a lot of what she says is to let go into our relationships or 'heart connections'. Our 'heart nature'. So that sounds a lot different from the teachings that say all of our relationships are just like meeting people in the market and they are impermanent. In fact in my teachers own lineage I think a lot of people say things like that to guard against being attached to relationships and fame and so forth. But my teacher teaches that the nature of the universe also meets us in our refuge. So my refuge is not just me cultivating something but it is also recognizing that the universe is going to say something back to me. I recall Thich Nhat Hanh talking about how he often receives "letters from emptiness" and I wonder if that's what he meant. So for me cittamatra could be "heart only" instead of "mind only". Or it could be an instruction to recognize the heart nature or our heart nature or something. But definitely important to note that citta is not same thing as skhanda.
With relationships we let go of the part (attachment) that is not meaningful, reliable, satisfying. When we let go of that there is something left that is satisfying remaining. If there was nothing satisfying about our relationships then we would be left with suffering and there wouldn't be enligthenment (is the line of thinking). So there is something meaningful about our heart. We suffer when attached to things that don't matter. When we let go of what doesn't matter we are left with something genuine rather than "it's all meaningless". Nature of mind beyond prapancha as we say.
Here's something that echoes my thoughts that all sorts of teachings are worth having in the world:
All of the various types of teachings and spiritual paths are related to the different capacities of understanding that different individuals have. There does not exist, from an absolute point of view, any teaching which is more perfect or effective than another. A teaching's value lies solely in the inner awakening which an individual can arrive at through it. If a person benefits from a given teaching, for that person that teaching is the supreme path, because it is suited to his or her nature and capacities.
~ Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche
Yeah I agree to be present in thinking and to enjoy your experience like mindfully.
Desire and attachment will not change overnight, but desire becomes less ordinary as we redirect our worldly yearning toward the aspiration to become enlightened for the benefit of others. At the same time, we don’t abandon the ordinary objects of our desires – relationships, wealth, fame – but our attachment to them lessens as we contemplate their impermanence. Not rejecting them, rejoicing in our fortune when they arise, yet recognizing that they won’t last, we begin to build qualities of spiritual maturity. As our attachment slowly decreases, harmful actions that would normally result from attachment are reduced. We create less negative karma, more fortunate karma, and the mind’s positive qualities gradually increase.
~ Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche
The main objective in our lives should be to dissolve our ego.
The subject of ego is discussed widely.
Yet we have a great need to bring harmony to our minds.
Harmony comes from stability of the mind.
To achieve the essence of stability in the mind, we must follow the path to enlightenment. The path to enlightenment has been demonstrated and explained by many masters throughout history. These are factual accounts - not works of fiction. These accounts written by many spiritual masters, serve to encourage and inspire us on our own path. They show us the truth and reality of our existence. They enable us to take the first steps on our spiritual path with kindness and diligence, helping us overcome our ego.
Rather than focusing on stories of the great masters and their glorious achievements, we should focus instead on our mistakes and failures on the path. Stories and romantic notions of great spiritual practitioners will appeal to the ego but focusing on our failures will bring far greater advancement. Your mind and it’s capacity for positivity is limitless. We should embrace it with humility.
Even then with my beautiful words and with your beautiful steps on your spiritual path always prioritize to focus on the failure not on the glory or Fiction
Because the glory and fiction has a limit and is friend of ego
your mind and your positive capacity has no limit therefore embrace it yet be humble with it
Love and respect from your Kalu Rinpoche