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The centre that I attend is Tibetan Buddhist of the Gelug school, but I have a lot of Theravadan sympathies, it just makes sense to me to study the words of the Buddha first, and to keep a lot of the later contributions as separate.
I do find it interesting how the Three Turnings of the Wheel are taught in Tibetan Buddhism.
Indeed, I wasn't suggesting such issues shouldn't be brought to light (even repeatedly as happens in forums). I just notice themes myself (within my own mind) where I spend more time pointing out the wrongs of others rather than looking at what I can do about myself.
Lol, I was wondering if you noticed that. I had observed a certain pattern about our interactions.
To the point I might go DAYS thinking in circles about one particular issue. Even if it's a really important issue, most of the time I am thinking myself in circles. And all the while, I have yelled at my kids, sighed when one of my parents called and I had to answer the phone, jabbered incessantly about some mindless topic with some person who just doesn't care, etc. When we feel indignant about a topic, I think that is pretty common. I try to do better at debating an issue, then leaving it when I am done talking or typing. But it's really hard not to carry it with you and let it distract you from your own immediate impact.
Sorry for the lack of clarity, I often get ahead of myself as I am reading posts
I find brevity an interesting exercise. Writing down my thoughts and then distilling them to the absolute essentials, the minimum number of words necessary to carry my meaning exactly.
At the same time you find your meaning transforming before your eyes into something more well-rounded, the edges taken off. It can be a fun process.
I drink Twinnings chamomile snore-EZ, English breakfast tea, early grey, green tea, lapsang souchong, fresh mint tea from mint I grow on the balcony, and sometimes a bit of yerba mate. So I'm about as much as a tea nerd as a coffee nerd.
I do go out of my way to find a really nice lapsang souchong though, I just love the smokey flavour. The organic stall on the market has a nice one, but there is some variation and there are some lovely tea shops around which sell speciality ones.
I still think the first task is to resolve your own attitudes towards feeling beautiful and being sexy @spiderlily - once you can be happy there you can engage with the husband about his desires and how far down that path you should meet him, and how much of an adjustment you can ask of him in return.
I feel like in a lot of ways relationships, love and marriage are clung on to as the golden ticket to happiness and fulfilment and that leaves a lot of us unhappy and frustrated.
I think that's very true... I'm probably unusual in that - by choice and chance - I have lived a life free of relationships, marriage, and mostly free of sex, and so I feel I can answer that it's possible to have quite a fulfilling life without those things. Luckily my childhood was such that these things were not programmed into me.
But I think a lot of people have this set in front of them as a goal from an early age, not through any choice of their own but as part of society's grand plan. Jiddu Krishnamurti often talks about the things the parents, teachers and priests program into young minds, I find his talks quite refereshing at times.
When it turns out that "one partner, till death do us part" is more usually a Jewish tradition from very long ago that never worked very well, many people end up disillusioned and feeling as if they had failed, and then a second marriage works as a pick me up. But it still leaves you with the impression that each broken marriage is a failure, while in fact, it was never realistic to begin with.