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Some good words have already been said.
So, in passing, please remember the benefits of bodhissatva actions, deeds, words, go both ways.
As for the nuts and bolts of your situation, I do not presume to know enough to direct or dictate a course of action.
It would be good if you are able to discuss your situation with someone familiar with you and your circumstance.
Best yo you
Peace to all
I feel it is that when we allow our emotions to dictate out thoughts and actions, we allow ourselves as to be controlled by outward or external forces. However, while acknowledging our emotions, we srtive to use our awareness and our mind, (which can be one and the same), to direct or rein in or alter our emotion to facilitate a positive interaction within ourselves (internal environment) and with our external environment. This is the action of the "aware mind" as mentioned by @lobster.
A buddhist who's parents were murdered by two youn men requested that they not be executed but rather that they may live to reflect upon the reality that they destroyed their lives as well as those of their victims. His request was honored.
Awakening is like coming into the sunlight out of a heavy fog on a beautiful day.
Respect is a duality. It is both respect for self and resprct for others. It is not, "First I must respect myself, then..." It is not, "First I must respect others, then...".
We take the Bodhisattva approach of helping others as we are helping ourselves.
Peace to all