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I like computer games as much as the next guy but I have never considered them an activity good for mindfulness. Mindfulness takes you out of your head and brings you into your body. It's hard to be aware of your body or anything else for that matter when enthralled in a game. Hey that's just my take on it, I'm probably wrong.
I would therefore refer you back to my response.
The thought-process you experience stems from an "unhealthy" sense of self-worth, and a place of self-gratifying Ego.
That may sound harsh but first of all, stop and think about it. Under analysis you may find I'm right...
Secondly, in my younger days I too, was keen to please.
You'll be relieved to know it wears off with advancing maturity.....
ETA: I wrote this directly after your 'needy' post, but for some reason, even though I KNOW I hit 'post comment'.... It didn't post. So read it in the context it was originally posted in - before @karasti's post, or @zero's...
That is relieving. Yes what you say does indeed make perfect sense. If you have an unhealthy self worth you basically want others to notice in you what you fail to notice in yourself. The problem is that if you are so adamant that you suck even somebody telling you the opposite you simply don't believe them. It's like you can only be happy when absolutely every person you meet confirms to you that you are awesome which of course will never happen no matter who you are. A healthy acceptance that you can't please everybody is in need here. The thing is (and I'm a classic example of this) thinking rationally and emotional response are two different things. I can feel lonely, needy and desire attention and I can rationalize it completely. I can tell myself "I'm only feeling this out of low self worth" then I can sit with the feeling, embrace it and hug it but nothing changes. How does one improve self worth? How does one finally make their rational mind convince their emotional mind that this feeling is unnecessary and basically stop?
Perhaps you cant. I have come to realize that we are not the person on the outside we are on the inside.
No affect, in fact I read somewhere that some Buddhist monks drink green tea in order to keep them alert whilst meditating.
Congrats on not having a fb account. I deleted mine 2 maybe 3 years ago and have never looked back. I felt liberated like I had been broken from a spell when I got rid of it. We don't need to be constantly seeing little windows of what others WANT you to see about there lives. It's all just "ooh look at me, approve of what I'm doing" attention seeking. I do still have instagram which isn't as bad in my opinion as Facebook but even looking at that I just see people constantly putting there ego's out there for us to judge. Its just a way for us all to participate in this tacit game of who can make there lives look better. Mind you it is definitely possible to go on and not fall under this spell but I personally think no good comes of it.
I've never thought it pessimistic. It probably is compared to that warm fuzzy feeling of false hope abrahamic religions give people.