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Mingle Veteran


Last Active
  • Meditation itself can be resistance

    Just spent an hour on the cushion and I have realised how even when meditating I spend an awfully long time trying to control my thoughts.

    As the meditator it can be very easy to fall into the trap of asking yourself "am I meditating yet?" when all the thoughts we have or the feelings we feel we become attached to by trying to be un-attached and that I believe is resistance.

    Most of my sessions are like this and it is very rarely that I can experience complete non-attachment as I still carry with me many ideals of what meditation should be. From now on I think my approach is gonna be to just go with the flow. Screw meditating I'm just gonna carry on sitting and breathing. If I'm attached so what? If I'm not attached so what?

    I'd say one of the biggest obstacles of learning Buddhism is actually un-learning Buddhism.

  • Self Pity

    Found this video on YouTube and it's very interesting. It shows the importance of self pity...

    It's interesting because every other video I find on it seems to be very anti-self pity.

    We all have times where something has not gone the way we want it or someone has said something to upset you and we just lay into ourselves. Perhaps crawl away into a corner and sulk.

    Sometimes a good session of beating ourselves up can be quite good. I find that afterwards I can feel alot better strangely.

    Of course this behaviour doesn't exactly spell strong or attractive does it? In fact it is probably a huge turn off. Maybe it can lead on to low self worth.

    Being mindful though I guess it is simply just a feeling, one we need not worry about. It is definitely possible to experience and not let it become you.

    Your take...

  • Turning 30

    I know what you're thinking, omg another sob story from mingle. Hear me out though..

    The last couple of weeks have been tough, I am 28 and definitely in deep with a quarter life crisis. The age 30 feels very near and I can feel it's cold breath on the back of my neck. I have had a lot of ups and a lot of downs. Mainly downs to be honest as most of the time I just wanna cry.

    Life is gonna change for me and it's gonna change soon, no longer am I gonna be considered a young man. I really cannot get over the fact that my body is gonna start getting weaker and I have to be so much more health conscious. I look at the youth and feel jealous, I look at girls in their early 20's and they probably think I'm old. All of this has brought me to some pretty low moments, moments where I just don't see a point in life. I already seem to hate it, hate the world. I felt like my future just contained nothing but misery. Hey I'll say it I even had suicidal thoughts. Yes I am just that hung up.

    I feel old, I feel irrelevant, I feel hopeless and strangely.... More confident.

    I may sound a bit crazy here but somehow I actually feel like a different person in my mind. Like as I was freaking out I felt my identity breaking down. Suddenly I am not that guy. I felt like life sucks yeah sure but hey I'm here so I might as well enjoy it.

    Suddenly I am saying things I never say to people, I feel more connected to them, I'm wittier too. I even complemented a cute girl yesterday and she liked it. I thought "hey this isn't me"

    This change to 30 is really forcing me to change my ideals and outlook on life. Who cares if I'm old? Old people are awesome! They seem so happy and witty all the time, they look at youths worrying about silly stuff and just laugh. Hey that's gonna be me! I know myself and who I am and I am comfortable enough to not care what others think. I also feel like I have some good wisdom to share too and I love sharing it to others.

    Also all of this has put my practice into a good perspective. It has shown me how attached to youth I am, how fluid identity is and how just the simple notion of "hey I am 30 soon crap I'm getting on a bit" can worm its way into my mind and suddenly I have become it! I mean lately I seem to fall for any woman I feel the slightest connection with and it happens alot. It happens so much that yesterday I was mindful of it and actually caught my mind in the act. I felt me getting infatuated and I didn't judge it I just let it be. Now, it's gone!

    What's so great about being 20 something..? Not much, this decade has been filled with worry and self conscious thoughts. Maybe it's time I stop caring and just live. Drop the ego and look into my philosophy. Perhaps my 30's won't so bad after all.

  • Claiming enlightenment

    I was having a discussion with a friend the other day about people, human nature and their ego's.
    Through the chat she made the claim of somethings like "I am enlightened" and "I have no ego" and I very kindly told her she is full of it.
    It was one of those conversations when you feel like you are learning as you are informing someone. When you come out with wisdom you didn't think you had.
    I told her "I'm sorry, you are a very nice person but that is quite a claim. No one has no ego and no one is above human nature"
    I went on to say how you cannot get rid of your ego and you cannot stop your human nature as she implied. I told her she had an understanding of enlightenment but a very shallow one. I said it is not about getting rid of anything wether it be thoughts or feelings. Taming the ego is not about denying it it is about knowing it, understanding it, FEELING it and being able to sidestep it.
    I then went on to say how Buddha never claimed to be above human nature as that would make him more than human. I then asked how he was able to empathize with his followers and teach them if he was simply above human nature himself?
    She didn't reply to any of this of course but this reminded me of a great quote "if see the Buddha on the path to enlightenment kill him"
    I am now pretty dubious to believe any one who makes similar claims. To claim you are enlightened is to claim you are done so to speak and you are never done. What do you think?

  • Re: Meditation NOT focusing on breathing

    Ain't nothin magical about the breath. You can focus on anything. It's not about what you focus on just becoming the observer of your mind and seeing it as just another thing arising in consciousness.