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IMO, seeking validation from anything or anyone will only take you down the wrong path. I have to agree with @federica on this one, if you were truly comfortable in your own skin you wouldn't/shouldn't have those feelings/wants. You seek that validation from women because you're not getting it from yourself. I assume (by other comments left) that you're young so this could be something that passes but definitely something I would pay close attention to and try to change. I have felt the same way in the past and it only left me feeling angry and depressed like I was never good enough. It was only when I let go that I truly felt free.
You can never truly love anyone unless you love yourself.
You can never be comfortable with yourself unless you are yourself and comfortable with that.
@spiderlily, your story breaks my heart. I'm with @federica on this one and I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I am almost certain it can't be easy. I can't offer much in this post but it does sound like you need to have a real heart to heart, no f'n around kind of conversation with him to determine if what @federica says is correct. The last thing you want to do is have yourself pulled around left, right and centre only to have him go anyway. In my opinion, if someone said that to me I would abandon ship. I don't know if I could ever recover from that and the affect it would have on my heart and soul.
I hope you find peace in this situation and yourself
I'm very happy for you!
I actually printed that cheat sheet and keep it in my wallet!