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Tosh Veteran


Last Active
  • Re: I really, really love it when....

    @grackle said:
    @Tosh. Thanks for the heartwarming post. It must be wonderful to see others recover and help out along the way.

    Yes, it is lovely. Sad though at times too.

    I was joking with an A.A. lady last night and our conversation was "Don't you hate it when you help someone get and stay sober and they get their lives together and end up doing better than you!"

    That made me smile.

  • Re: I really, really love it when....

    I love seeing addicts/alkies recover. We've a very young heroin addict (and alcoholic) in our area; she was grimly underweight and I suspected on some kind of prescription drug (like subutex) coming to our local meetings. One of the older ladies took her under her wing.

    Last week I saw her laugh for the very first time (rather than the normal zombified demeanour) and she looked even more alive last night.

    She tells me she's put a stone on in the past 3 months; but she's still looking very underweight.

    I had the pleasure of giving her a three month A.A. chip last night. She's only a few years older than my daughter.

  • Re: Pain, ego

    I don't like pain of any description. Personally, I'd prefer to think of psychological pain as a reminder that I'm often doing something wrong and see what I can learn from it.

    And there are types of psychological pain that are perfectly natural to experience, such as the death of a loved one.

    I think it's our relationship - how we handle that pain and how it affects us is the important factor.

    For example, does it drive us to do unhealthy things (like drink or drug), or does it drive us to handle it in more healthy ways (like seeking out the company of friends or our spiritual circle for support)?

    As a recovered alkie, I could not stand feeling the discomfort of any kind of psychological pain, which is probably why I drank the way I did. And when I got sober I thought the idea was to 'be happy' (not experience pain) so that I could remain sober.

    But over the years (I'm a slow learner), I've learnt there's no avoiding pain, and I've somehow learnt to be okay, even when I'm not feeling okay.

  • Re: Buddhism, vanity and sexual conduct?

    @grackle said:
    If he wants you to be "hot" to stoke his desires that is placing the responsibility on you. Manifestly unfair. It's a two way street. What is he willing to do. If after four years of marriage he wants you to get all tarted up to turn him on then what is the rest of you worth to him?

    I agree with you, but you know how we learn in Buddhism (or at least I was taught this) that we 'create concepts' with our minds, well as a man, who has had children, we tend to create our partners as 'mothers' or 'caregivers' and it's not the most on-turning of concepts to create.

    What helps me is not only to see Mrs Tosh as a 'runner' or a 'mum' or a 'care giver', but as a 'fully-fledged sexual beast, who knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to take it', because that's a lot hotter than a 'care giver'.

    Us men, we're simple things (in many ways); humour us with some suspenders and trashy make-up.

    I'd happily wear a bat-man costume if asked!

  • Re: Low Carb High Fat...

    @SpinyNorman said:
    In my opinion obesity is basically a result of eating too much and exercising too little.

    More walking, less Neapolitan! :p

    I was overweight, yet lifting 3 or 4 times a week and running 30 to 40 miles a week. No amount of exercise seemed to move that spare tire I carried with me.

    And the thing about exercise is that it made me hungry, and I'd eat too much.

    But when I did LCHF, my hunger cravings weren't nearly as bad; I wasn't needing to snack, and I just naturally gravitated to eating less.

    20 lbs were lost - easily - in a few months.