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they are curious happenings aren't they? Yours and others, OP. How many times do we hear stories where a person is irritatingly delayed only to find they missed a bad accident by 2 minutes? But what about that person who didn't miss the accident? We found a happy and lucky coincidence,
I crossed a road earlier today. Two minutes later a car drove down that road at 60 mph.
Wow, what a lucky escape I had.
Carbs are a maximum; there's no problems being under the maximum. Fat is a minimum (you need a minimum amount to be healthy though there's no problems in going over that) and protein is a target (you need a certain amount to be healthy).
I only counted carbs and calories when I wanted to lose weight. You can find calorie calculators on the interweb. Some die-hards call this 'lazy keto', but it worked for me.
Now I'm in maintenance, I tend to just eat low carb foods, and eat when I'm hungry. I try to avoid processed foods too. I don't count, measure, or weigh anything.
The book that started me on this is called Primal Endurance and that's an advocate of 'listening to your body', so if you're hungry, eat, if you're not, don't. Not so easy to do in a family setting without giving it some thought.
However, sometimes, when I listen to my body, it's telling me "Eat chocolate, go on, you deserve it; you're such a good boy, you've been for a run, chocolate, chocolate, chocolate (etc)".
If he wants you to be "hot" to stoke his desires that is placing the responsibility on you. Manifestly unfair. It's a two way street. What is he willing to do. If after four years of marriage he wants you to get all tarted up to turn him on then what is the rest of you worth to him?
I agree with you, but you know how we learn in Buddhism (or at least I was taught this) that we 'create concepts' with our minds, well as a man, who has had children, we tend to create our partners as 'mothers' or 'caregivers' and it's not the most on-turning of concepts to create.
What helps me is not only to see Mrs Tosh as a 'runner' or a 'mum' or a 'care giver', but as a 'fully-fledged sexual beast, who knows what she wants, and isn't afraid to take it', because that's a lot hotter than a 'care giver'.
Us men, we're simple things (in many ways); humour us with some suspenders and trashy make-up.
I'd happily wear a bat-man costume if asked!
But if someone says buddhism is pessimistic, what is so offensive about that? Why do Buddhists get so worked up that they provide 'evidence' that their religion is not pessimistic, it is only realistic etc. etc.?
Most folk I know, know very little about Buddhism, but it generally seems to be considered a bit hippy-ish at best and inoffensive at worst.
I don't consider myself a Buddhist though (for some very Buddhist reasons I think (compassion for alkies)).
But I'm currently arguing in another post over the possibilities of butter-intoxication.
It's funny what we can get attached too!
I've stopped drinking, smoking, gambling, hugely reduced my sugar and carb intake; there's no way any living person or thing in the universe is going to take coffee away from me.
That's one attachment too far, I'm afraid.