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Dharma practice is like... confusing, at times... man.
Just spent an hour on the cushion and I have realised how even when meditating I spend an awfully long time trying to control my thoughts.
As the meditator it can be very easy to fall into the trap of asking yourself "am I meditating yet?" when all the thoughts we have or the feelings we feel we become attached to by trying to be un-attached and that I believe is resistance.
Most of my sessions are like this and it is very rarely that I can experience complete non-attachment as I still carry with me many ideals of what meditation should be. From now on I think my approach is gonna be to just go with the flow. Screw meditating I'm just gonna carry on sitting and breathing. If I'm attached so what? If I'm not attached so what?
I'd say one of the biggest obstacles of learning Buddhism is actually un-learning Buddhism.
Don't try to control your thoughts, let them come and go. Be like water, just float along. Be flexible, mold yourself to each occurrence.
Don't get down on yourself for having a thought, it's the natural order of the brain. Instead, examine the thought as it floats downstream, then let it go. Carrying around thoughts gets heavy. Work smarter, not harder, and let the stream do the carrying for you.
Don't take stuff too seriously, it's just life - you won't get out alive.
Hope that was helpful and not too bleak.
Sometimes it is all I can do to let my thoughts come and go and not serve them tea. Other times I settle into meditation and everything goes well and I feel like I've "accomplished" something. Thus far, I find each session different and some are more useful than others.
I think, as long as you're doing it, it counts for something.
Last night I had a dream where I visited with the Buddha.
I was traveling with my wife and family in India and our guide said (as we passed a house) "That's
Siddhartha's house" I asked if we could visit and the guide said that people usually don't do that. Then The Buddha walked out, waved, and said "come in." I don't recall what we talked about, but, it was a very friendly discussion and I woke up feeling really good, calm, at peace, and happy.
Does anyone have a guess at what this may mean (if you believe in that sort of thing)? Or is it just wishful thinking.
Is "I don't know" an acceptable answer?