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eggsavior Explorer

My name is Xavier, my username is a pun.


Illinois, USA
Last Active
Illinois, USA
  • Help with study of the self

    I've recently just got through a rough patch with myself. The past couple weeks I was very depressed and angry with myself. Now that I'm feeling better I am more determined to have a better practice. But I think the problem is I don't have any goal or topic to focus on and strive toward.

    I would like to start meditating on the self. I've looked up the 5 aggregates but it's a lot to digest at once. Does anyone have any advice or recommendations on beginning to study this? Thanks in advance :)

  • Found what I was looking for--almost?

    In a few discussions I've lamented the lack of any Buddhist group near me. Well I found one! The only problem...

    I'm taking it as a sign to continue developing myself and my condition until I'm at a proper place to initiate serious study. I think my biggest frustration is my inability to grasp or focus on broader subjects, but I never thought I might be jumping the gun. I think it's time to ground myself in the dharma as some of you say--basic dharma for me. Good thing I also coincidentally purchased the Dhammapada awhile ago... ;)

  • Re: You sit on a plane that is about to crash

    Currently I'm too wrapped up in judging the present and all my hope is staked on the future. So I would mourn the loss of that future. But I would also think about all the people I've met and things I've done. And I would try to keep a visualisation of the 3 Buddhas. I think when faced with death, knowing there is no alternative, we are forced to accept it, or resign ourselves to it. It would comfort me knowing everything dies and I am not alone in dying, even if it feels that way.

  • Re: Visited by my terror

    I haven't seriously meditated in far too long and this thread inspired me to return to the practice. Thanks @Kerome. I've had similar sensations meditating, usually after 30-45 minutes, but nothing as powerful. Once after visualizing Amida Buddha it felt like warm hands were touching my face and shoulders