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federica · seeker of the clear blue sky · Moderator


Last Active
Languages Spoken
Italian, French
  • Re: New and searching for help.

    Hi, @Charley , nice to meet you.

    A couple of small words of advice I can offer:

    Slow. Down.

    I sense a great urgency or need, in your earnest quest to conquer that which you see as an inner enemy: Your Anger.

    It's not going to happen overnight, and it's possible that in order to conquer your Anger, you may first need to 'befriend' it.
    In other words, you seem genetically predisposed to being worried, and you seem worried that you won't be able to contain, control and ultimately conquer this Angry Emotion of yours.

    So the first thing that might help is to sit quietly, in meditation, and 'speak' to your Anger as if it were a close relative. One who is not always present, but has a tendency to visit uninvited, and linger longer than you would like. Notice it when it arises, advise it that it may stay for 5 minutes, but then, you can no longer keep the door open to it.
    Train yourself to show it out after 5 minutes.... then, over time, reduce the amount of its visits....

    it is a useful managing-tool suggested by a wise and famous teacher we refer to as TNH.

    He is a Monk of some renown, better known in full as Thich Nhat Hahn.

    He has an abundance of wonderful books a few titles of which may well be inviting to you, particularly 'Peace is Every step'.
    I particularly liked 'Present Moment, Wonderful moment'.

    Read. Here, and books.
    It's how we can grow, together.

  • Re: Third Precept...beyond adultery

    @Bunks said:
    I know I am harping on a bit about it but I do struggle with the idea that as a single person I should stop having sex.

    I don't know that that is a recommendation or expectation.
    It might be advice, but nobody (AFAIK) would force you to make that decision.
    As I said (and as it has been explained to me) do nothing that would compromise the will or happy cooperation of any person involved.

    If it feels good? Do it.
    When in doubt? Don't.

  • Re: Word Association Game (2)

    Crenellation (so chilled, he's horizontal).

  • Re: One cap fits all?

    @Dhammika said:
    Thanks for all you do to make this a fine forum @federica!

    It's a pleasure, @Dhammika. I just bimble along, doing the best I can. :)

  • Re: One cap fits all?

    Moderator note:

    If you wish to delete a post, by all means remove your text. Then leave a note/request to me within the same comment box (prefixed by @federica) and I will oblige by removing the post entirely. Thanks all. Please carry on.