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federica · seeker of the clear blue sky · Moderator


Somewhere in the UK, Central-Southern....
Last Active
Somewhere in the UK, Central-Southern....
Languages Spoken
Italian, French
  • Re: Abortion

    We've had this discussion before. And before that. And before that too. ;)

    I believe, in a nutshell, that considering the 1st Precept, we are morally GENERALLY against it, but do not condemn any woman who comes to the decision she has to go through one, because trust me on this, any woman who opts for an abortion does not do so easily or with a light heart.

    It is a difficult and distressing process, and not one any woman would voluntarily undergo. It is degrading and humiliating, distressing and tragic, and the worst thing is (and I have known such things to happen) some women are made to feel like murderers and pariahs by the very medical staff engaged in the operation, at the time of the procedure.

    The question arises - even in Buddhism - as to WHEN, during the pregnancy, the embryo is considered to be a human being.
    I had a wonderful article on the subject bookmarked - but that was on another computer.
    I'll do a search....

    But generally, it's not supported as an action, but with Compassion, understanding and Unconditional Karuna, it is understood.

  • Re: Buddhism, making judgments and not judging

    @Kerome said: Do you not think that the right choices are the natural choices, once someone explains to you how the world works?

    It depends whether they tell you THE truth, or THEIR truth....

    I have found so many cases where with the right insight the urge to do something that would be wrong vanishes, and suddenly the natural choice reveals itself...

    But that is down to your discernment and perception, not necessarily down to what influences you.

  • Re: Being single

    @Bunks , I think if you're honest with everyone, and ask your ex to not approach you with her new partner, it's totally understandable and acceptable.

    But consider: you say he's one of the dads at the school... which must mean he has a maelstrom of issues to have to handle as well. Jeesh, you've got your anger, resentment, discomfort, embarrassment, dignity.... Does he have his share of Guilt, resentment, discomfort, embarrassment, dignity and gossip to contend with, too? What of HIS ex-wife? How is SHE going to deal with this? Women view infidelity in their husbands in an entirely different, emotional way. The Pain is almost unbearable. She's the Mother of his children; she made love to him, laboured and bore his children and now he's devoted to another woman... The emotional drama expand and covers everyone...

    You see how the pebble makes waves....
    I realise right now you have enough on your plate dealing with how YOU feel.... but in situations where multiple relationships are involved, you're never alone in the 'feels'....

  • Re: Buddhism, making judgments and not judging

    Yes, @Shoshin, I have heard this also. Just as the word 'dukkha' has been narrowed to extreme, to mean 'suffering' so other terms in Buddhism have been translated too loosely. I too have seen 'Right' as 'Appropriate' 'Skillful', 'correct' and 'Deliberated'.
    The word Noble also, has undergone a translation that could be misunderstood. Noble, in this sense, means indisputable, Understood accepted and acknowledged to be accurate by the Enlightened ones.

    But back to judgement.
    @karasti speaks a lot of sense, but if I might be permitted to do so, I would personally say that the stance of being Judgemental is a particularly tricky one for me. I don't need to really elaborate as to why, I'm sure.
    I often find myself placed in some awkward and challenging situations, and I often have to 'take 5' to evaluate my own reactions, and consider my responses, in the hope of Doing the Right Thing.

    (See above for different definitions of 'Right.... ;) )

    @Kerome, the extract you quote is known to me, and it goes on to say:

    "Don't keep searching for the Truth;
    Just let go of your opinions."

    (see here).

    I think that's extremely difficult, given that we are conditioned from an early age to make decisions based on what we see and hear....
    Even Neo had to choose between red and blue, after hearing two sides....

    But in the end, we have to let go of everything, which is what we strive to do.
    We have to ensure that we do so with Wisdom and discernment.
    Letting go of opinions, evaluations and judgement, should not turn us into passive yes-men.....

  • Re: Why do we blame technology?

    Buddhists are people. People blame technology. Ergo, the people who blame technology, are Buddhists. (I think that's a law or principle, but I can't remember which one it is....!)