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genkaku Veteran

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genkaku
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Northampton, Mass. U.S.A.
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  • Re: Death and Grieving

    @adventuress -- Like a lot of other things, until you own it, it will own you. The how-do-you-do-that is, of course, the sticky wicket. I'm sure others will have good suggestions here.

    My own particular 'how' included the following. I'm not quite sure where I got it, but it smells a bit Tibetan (bardo and all that) to me. No matter, it was the technique, not the eyewash, that helped in the wake of a sharp loss.

    Get a picture of your father. Place it on whatever you may use for an altar (if any) and then once a day for 49 days, take 20 or 30 minutes sitting in front of the altar/picture. Light incense if you like. Think what you like. Feel what you like. Exercise whatever meditation practice you like. Laugh or cry as the winds take you. But do not miss a single day and do not sit either shorter or longer than promised. If you need help, get an egg timer. If you don't sit on a meditation cushion, then sit up straight on a straight-backed chair ... don't lean against the back rest. Get your body into a firm, respectful and relaxed position. Don't fidget. Sit for 20 or 30 minutes ... or whatever your promise may be.

    I won't toss you any sappy promises. It's just a description of one possibility.

    Best wishes.
    mfranzdorfadventuressriverflowzombiegirlkarmabluesfedericaOmar067