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Words aren't true, neither are you
What the eff
Is a Haiku?
Okay, I made that up, and it probably doesn't qualify, but I don't get Haiku's... are they meant to capture a moment... to arouse a state of mind... or what?
Are you enlightened?
Then you probably suck. You are probably the nicest amongst your peer group, but given the planet you inhabit, this counts for little.
You are likely infected with endless nuances and shades of selfishness that upset / frustrate / anger those around you in degrees of quantity and quality that - if you were to become aware of and feel - would bring you to your knees in shame and pain and infinite regret.
You're a dick - one of seven billion... another shitty grain of sand on a shitty beach by a shitty Poundland town, and everything you think you've attained that elevates you above those around you is at once reducing you below them as you blow a nano trumpet that is better shoved up your own arse.
I've found it very difficult to maintain a consistent practice over the years. I suppose I started to meditate over ten years ago now, but it's always been on and off, and so the longest I've meditated in one sitting is about 90 minutes, although that is rare. I have a problem in my right shoulder area - a long standing trapped nerve, I think - that becomes very painful after a while, and I haven't managed yet to just allow it and sit with it... it bugs me too much. However, none of this disappoints me. I'm 35 and have managed a fair degree of spiritual development (although, it feels more like having picked up the baton from prior lives than any strong effort in this one) and it excites me that I still have meditation practice in my back pocket, because, I know that when the time comes when I get a consistent meditation practice, my development will really accelerate. Sitting meditation is obviously hugely beneficial, but with enough awareness, there is so much 'growth' to be achieved just through consciously living your life with right thinking, right action, right speech etc. I am fortunate that I am mostly able to utilise any waking moment to further my development, with or without meditation to help.
You sound exactly like a friend of mine who is deeply into New Age teachings.
Maybe I am your friend! Imagine that!