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spiderlily Explorer

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spiderlily
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  • Re: Buddhism, vanity and sexual conduct?

    @DhammaDragon I am quite secure with how I look, and I am not unattractive.

    If anything, I am more insecure about my knowledge on Buddhism, what I should and shouldn't be doing as a 'good' Buddhist, which is why I felt compelled to post on here and find out more. My question, to be exact, is: is it ok to be concerned with outward appearances as a Buddhist practitioner - and that has been answered already, so I think I'm good now.

    Thank you for sharing your perspective. Together with the rest of the replies here, it has all been very helpful to me :)

    That said, I probably come across as stiff and mechanical in my understanding on buddhism, given my limited exposure to Buddhism, so do bear with me :o

    DhammaDragonmosquito
  • Re: Buddhism, vanity and sexual conduct?

    @lobster said:
    One of our regular dakinis @DhammaDragon has a 'relationships' forum with https://insighttimer.com
    Good place for relationship advice :)

    Meanwhile ...

    One of the great women Sufi Bodhisattva/saints (sorry could not find who) would attend to her make up and allure. This was her outer form for the sake of her marriage. What became of this varied. When she was not sharing in her relationship, she choose to be very simple and plain. The point is outer form is irrelevant and that includes aspects that others prefer. Non-attachment is very subtle . . .

    As a Buddha dakini whore, I am insistent that it takes two to tango ...

    You are not a nun.
    Might you suggest that you be worshiped as part of role play . . . o:)

    Did I mention two to Tantra Tango? Good thing you are a practicing Buddhist ... otherwise we might have a line dance ... :3 Ay caramba!

    https://ericwedwards.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/goddess-worship-sacred-sexuality-and-the-divine-feminine/

    You sound like you are in a healthy lay relationship AND maybe need to appreciate that form is empty.

    Compromise.
    Wear the form. Make some fun of your own ... share the emptiness . . .

    The Sufi Bodhisattva story is beautiful, thank you for sharing. I understand what you're trying to tell me, and it's actually a relief to hear that!

    Tosh
  • Re: Filial Piety?

    @federica Nothing rude about that :) I have little influence over their respective decisions, and I don't really intend to interfere. I am asking to sort out thoughts that I have of my own, on this matter. Thank you for sharing your opinions.

    To answer your questions:
    We come from a society that values material success. And so to them, a proper way of living is to establish a respectable career, set up a family, own a house, a car etc.

    federica
  • Meditating, mindfulness, and writing fiction

    Hello! I'm new around here. Thanks for having me :)

    There’s a situation that I’m in, that I’m hoping for some advice and input on.

    I used to write fictional stories as a hobby / side interest, before I started developing anxiety. The anxiety was caused by relationship issues, toxic relationships that I’ve since gotten rid of.

    Back then, story ideas would flow freely into my mind. I was often immersed in a fun stream of ‘inspiration’, which, in turn, was used to fuel my writing. It was an enjoyable process for me, and I loved writing very much.

    However, I stopped writing when my anxiety hit levels that were so high, nothing came into my mind except for negative and paranoid thoughts. I was a wreck, and I wasn’t in the right state of mind to write anymore, so I stopped for several years (around 6 - 7 years).

    1.5 - 2 years ago, I started to delve into Buddhism. I began meditating and practising mindfulness (as well as other Buddhist teachings), as a way of coping with the large amounts of anxiety and paranoia that I was suffering from. It has helped me very much, and in recent months, I feel more calm, and more at peace with myself than I was years ago. I’m very grateful to the benefits that I’ve reaped from these practices.

    And so a couple of months back, I decided to pick up writing again.

    However here are the issues that I'm now facing.

    1. Ever since I’d started meditating and practising mindfulness in my daily life, I’d developed the habit of ‘not thinking’. I’d conditioned my mind to allow thoughts to enter and leave, without paying any heed to them. This seems to be interfering with my writing. Whenever I attempt to generate ideas in my mind, my subconsciousness blocks out ideas, and prevents them from developing. I seem to tell myself subconsciously, to 'stop thinking so much, stop mulling over matters, stop getting attached to the thoughts that I have'. While helpful when it comes to dealing with mental anxiety, this is also preventing me from developing story ideas and plots.

    2. Occasionally, when I do manage to get into that state of 'story creation', I space out. I stop being mindful, of both actions and thoughts, I stop paying attention to what's going on around me, and I'm unable to remain rooted in the present. Unfortunately for me, story creation seems to be a 24/7 process. I feel that inspiration strikes me randomly - when I'm walking, eating, or being engaged in other mundane activities. It isn't something that I'm able to schedule into the day, where I set aside a couple of hours just to think and get inspired. As a result, I'm left in a situation where I have to choose between allowing my thoughts to wander, or staying mindful. It seems to be either one, or the other.

    So here I am, looking for some help. I hope that my long ramble isn't too confusing! I've searched online, and can't seem to find much advice on how to deal with this situation, so any opinions would be very much appreciated. Thank you for reading!

    dantepw
  • Re: Meditating, mindfulness, and writing fiction

    @mockeymind Thank you! I believe so too.

    @yagr I can see why you found that funny, It made me chuckle too :) Making adjustments to the story in order to facilitate it's growth - that's a helpful tip. It's very possible that I'm struggling because my story ideas (I'm actually picking up from where I left off several years ago) are no longer in line with my personal beliefs and values. Thank you.

    I wish you all the best for your book, and future writing endeavors as well. Its been a pleasure speaking with published authors such as @Cinorjer and yourself :)

    @Vanilli thank you. You've given a suggestion that's similar to genkoku's, and it's something that I'll be trying out too. I'll be giving that a go and see where it takes me.

    On a side note, a Buddhist practitioner I know of, who does writing of her own as well, has suggested that I incorporate a technique into my daily routine, called "Morning Pages" by Julia Cameron, author of the book "The Artist's Way". The idea of this technique is to write freely for 3 pages every morning, a sort of uninterrupted flow of consciousness. This serves to purge your mind of any lurking thoughts, so that you may write / create more freely and without any hinderence.
    lobster