Good post from Jeroen. The best restraint for me is probably a straitjacket
I understand the beer thing. Best beer I ever had was a trappist beer in a clay container. Outstanding. One drink once a month, is plenty for me too, mostly less.
Manageable restraint/asceticism is far better than extreme behaviour. Unless you are a Jain monk or Buddhist Nun or sleep deprived Sufi.
It is amazing how much voluntary simplicity proportionally increases ones Sukha.
I've found giving myself a cheat day makes practicing restraint and positive habits during the rest of the week much easier. I have some issues with cheating turning into binging, but practicing restraint during the week seems to have lessened my cravings overall.
In regards to money, I too consider myself fortunate. I grew up in a family with savers and wise spenders, never ran the AC, made homemade popsicles with kool aid, never bought new cars or the latest gadgets, etc. But spent money on maintaining and improving the home, doing a lot of the work themselves, or on cheap family trips and get togethers that brought us together. When I got a job as a teenager, a couple of my other friends would go out and spend all their paychecks as soon as they got them. I'd only buy an occasional book or movie ticket. They'd wonder how I always seemed to have money, like I was super rich.
I think I have been lucky. When I was young there was never much money, and so I got into the habit of only buying what I needed. This meant that I never really paid attention to what I desired, and so even in wealthier times I was modest in what I would buy. Pretty much the only things I spent money on were books, DVDs and technology. My mother used to call me a cyber monk.
Living a humble life in this way shields you from your desires and aversions, it keeps them small without repressing them. It was that in combination with the old saying, “take everything in moderation”. This gets you into the habit of applying a counter-pressure to desire, and taking the things that you enjoy in small quantities, without foregoing them entirely. You allow yourself to enjoy, but only once in a while.
I find myself doing the same thing with beer: once every month or two I will buy a bottle of Belgian Trappist beer, and just sit back and enjoy it with a few nuts on a quiet afternoon. I find this allows me to savour the enjoyment. But I don’t look forward to these things, that would be fuelling craving, I just buy them on impulse once it’s been a month or so since the last time. I don’t really keep track rigorously.
Some things I don’t keep in the house, like “borrelnootjes” or paprika crisps, because I know I won’t be able to restrain myself and will just end up eating an entire bag of the things. I’ve found it best to just not buy certain things which I know i have a weakness for.
Restraint is a theme you often come across in the sutras (Aparihani Sutra or Bhikkhuvagga) with respect to the senses or about the monks’ heedfulness, but I think it is important to lay people as well. I find it something that I sometimes struggle with to keep it in mind, especially with food items that I am fond of, like a salmon mousse or certain potatoe dishes. But often I remind myself of it, and then I give up a few more places where maybe I had been eating over-generous portions.
In fact, many companies search for a guaranteed model of generating income. This ranges from social engineering like Facebook to the taste of hamburgers by McDonalds to the gambling mechanisms of Las Vegas casinos to the opioid medications created by Purdue Pharmaceuticals. Anything which addicts or habituates people can be used to extract money and effort from them.
All of it works to fuel the fires of samsara, your desires in particular, but the media also works on your aversions and delusions. While Buddhism works to bring these fires under control, modern Western society works to fan the flames in order to get you to consume more. The influence of these companies does not bring you closer to peace and nirvana.
I think it is a pity that Buddhist countries in Asia are now also moving towards capitalist models, because the ultimate expression of these capitalist ventures is the exploitation of unconsciousness and unbridled desire.
To help shield myself from these things I am really careful with bringing certain influences into my life.
The things I enjoy are satsang (“meeting in truth”), music, podcasts, forums. There are still places where wholesome influences can be found, and these I try to contribute to with time and attention.
I thought this was an interesting perspective. They talked about how our evolutionary wirings make us vulnerable to what they're calling a "scarcity loop". They talk about it in terms of gambling (the professor teaches in Las Vegas), dieting, social media as well as other areas of life this impacts us. Regarding social media they talk about how these companies are intentionally high-jacking these systems to keep us engaged in their products.
"There are two ways to be fooled.
One is to believe what isn't true
The other is to refuse to believe what is true."
~Soren Kierkegaard~
“Life is a garden, not a road. We enter and exit through the same gate. Wandering, where we go matters less than what we notice.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Cat’s Cradle
In case you hadn’t noticed, the US Department of Justice has filed an antitrust suit against Apple, accusing them of being a monopolist in the US market. There are a number of different aspects to this, from the way iMessage functions to promote lock-in, to the way different Apple products interact and make it impossible for competing products to gain feature parity.
The lawsuit will likely run for a number of years, plus appeals for more years. But the results could be serious for Apple, up to and including the break up of the company.
The Verge and Daring Fireball carry more detailed reporting.
@Kotishka said:
Maybe Jundo wants to extend the Dharma, noble quest.
I think that, either conceptually, by creating a dharma for the 21st century, or by reach, by creating a dharma that goes places that others haven’t gone. Maybe a bit of both.