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Negativity
ThailandTom
Veteran
If there is one thing I see and have seen all too often, it is people being negative in all different kinds of ways. The internet is probably one of the easiest place to observe this, go onto twitter for example and see the comments people post. They, for the most part are about thinsg lik, "I hate school" "damn my blackberry is out of battery" "I hate my boss" and so on and so on.
Go and look at the comments on any youtube video, it appears that most of the time, whatever the content of the video, arguments, racism and general poisonous behaviour comes out in the comments.
Conversations with friends, family or loved ones. Yes they may merely be trying to make conversation, but I have found at least they complain. "ugh, it is raining today and I have to walk to school." When my partner gets home frm work, "I am so tired, today was a lot of hard work and my superior was not in a good mood at all." And so on. Why bring these things back home with you or into the lives of others? Why not talk about the things that were great, wonderful and beautiful in your day, share that with others? Why do we as a race of people seem to like to indulge in the negative side of life?
Another thing as well, find faults. I can see the irony here yes, maybe I am finding faults but for good reasons. All too often I see people finding faults in people for the sake of it, maybe to boost their own ego or to make a joke. A compliment given does not benefit just one person, it benefits at least two people. Just some thoughts :rolleyes:
Go and look at the comments on any youtube video, it appears that most of the time, whatever the content of the video, arguments, racism and general poisonous behaviour comes out in the comments.
Conversations with friends, family or loved ones. Yes they may merely be trying to make conversation, but I have found at least they complain. "ugh, it is raining today and I have to walk to school." When my partner gets home frm work, "I am so tired, today was a lot of hard work and my superior was not in a good mood at all." And so on. Why bring these things back home with you or into the lives of others? Why not talk about the things that were great, wonderful and beautiful in your day, share that with others? Why do we as a race of people seem to like to indulge in the negative side of life?
Another thing as well, find faults. I can see the irony here yes, maybe I am finding faults but for good reasons. All too often I see people finding faults in people for the sake of it, maybe to boost their own ego or to make a joke. A compliment given does not benefit just one person, it benefits at least two people. Just some thoughts :rolleyes:
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Comments
People's thoughts and feelings about something will be negative occasionally. Trying to argue with that fact is like being annoyed with the fact that some grass is yellow. Isn't it that all grass ought to be green? Why does the yellow, half-dead grass even exist?
Negativity is, it comes and goes. Thing is, things do suck sometimes.
People choose to express the negativity sometimes. It is on us to learn not to get sucked into it. But since we ourselves are sources or negativity too, if we learn to just overcome that we can probably overcome negativity in other people as well, since they are really the same thing. If you just removed all the shit out life, things (or we) cease to grow (due to lack of fertilization =P).
There is suffering ("my boss sucks").
Why is there suffering? Cuz i out to have a boss that is supportive, emphatic, etc
How can the suffering be overcome? By realizing that if my boss wasn't a selfish jerk i wouldn't have the job.
How can i realize that? One way is the eightfold path.
Everyone not fully on the path or enlightened, should shut up, is what it seems to me you're saying. Yeah, they just keep on coming with their negativity, don't they^^
And TV is used to market products, rather than to educate and inspire.
I just don't understand though the human mentality of why we like to discuss and share negative things so much. I don't know about you but I see it everywhere. The news is one prime example.
In America there is a booming business called "storage facilities" you take your shit and pay a monthly fee for a company to store it. Lol. Also, all the venting people do is floatsum or scum or dark murky water that needs to settle down to the bottom...I agree with dakini.
Or it's fog, and your real presence is the sun. Fog doesn't stay long.
It's because we don't see reality for what it is (impermanent, unsatisfactory, uncontrollable); so we have unrealistic expectations. When these aren't met, we're disappointed.
Sometimes, we will not know how to help it, and my "the roof is leaking" will just make you go - "gah, now were both wet and cold and that person is nagging about it". But we try, maybe the observer met the problem before and knows how to solve it?
Its really the same thing as animals making distinct sounds when the predator comes, its not to sound negative, but that maybe someone comes up with a solution or even just warning others will make their reaction more efficient - thus the behavior is useful. Speaking in terms of evolution, if i do that a million times wrong and one time right it pays off. So i think humans must've kept some part of that.
I'm not sure how I feel about it. On one hand it does show that buddhists are like all other people with different opinions. On the other hand is it just another internet forum that is used by some people to try convincce others that theirs is the right way.
Right now however I am seeing the situation at work where I have been praised for being so positive yet the negative person just got support to write up everyone she has been supervising for a mere month, without being asked to have any conversations in a respectful manner. In fact they wanted to (IMHO) take advantage of my positive nature by having me go over to the site and support all the disciplinary action today.
So I have no idea what my positive nature has done besides keep the drama down the last few months, I can see how much worse things could have been but I don't think anyone else can. Still gonna keep going, and sorry for the major downer here.
If we described an action either as one of the three things:
1. useful
2. skillful
3. mindful
I don't really have the time to find the definitions. In one action, several of those could be ascribed to it. To some extent the meanings of those three overlap, but i do not think they are the same, any two of them.
I did post an example, negativity is useful.
Then skillful... It was skillful when the roof was fixed. But when you reacted negatively to it, it wasn't. So it would be skillful when you'd estimate the answer to yield a result, not? But since its not a game of perfect information, i do not know what your answer will be. We could estimate that if it was mindful, then it was skillful. Nagging rarely is, though - making it useful, but somehow not skillful - or is there skillful action without mindfulness? There is my dilemma.
That's where the difference between a layperson and a monk shows itself. I do not know things exactly. I do not have any formal training in this.
One thing would be to dwell on whether it is skillful or not. To some extent this is irrelevant. Putting great importance on that fact can quickly evolve into defining a concept that is evil and is in need of banishing by yourself. The act being unskillful does not equate "people should not do it". It being skillful is only relevant if it were you who were deciding on whether it is best to whine about or not. This is complicated, since it depends on the situation. But when we are talking about other people, skillful does not apply. Skillful is always what the first person does. What the third person does has to be accepted but not being dwelt on. Whether it is the most perfect deed or the worst stupid evil act, the idea is, that it does not matter to us (first person). What you do, does not determine my happiness. So you can do as you please, if you like, have a slice of negativity
About my name, the concept of the metal comes from LOTR, so by necessity it had to be inspired by it.
First it is something that is in some way burdening that person and so they are at that moment attempting to let it go, sure it may not be the best way to do it, but then we are all limited in doing things, in the way we have gained knowledge and experiences in doing them. If you and they have enough interaction together then maybe you can find a moment to teach them a better way to let go of that negativity.
Secondly, I find intently and compassionately listening to people, often not offering any thing back to the situation or complaint, is helpful to them. Thus on some level turning that negative thing more positive as an interaction between that person and me has become positive. When it is something the person and I discuss, I generally find that both that person and I come away feeling a little lighter and peaceful.
Hope my thoughts can be helpful, even though I am very new to this. I loved the video my son and I listened to it together.
But I will link the first one
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PDMzvJOu9vQ
They are very simplistic, but helped me to open up my mind, kind of childlike so fit just my style of looking at the world.
So uhm I am trying to get it to actually link so maybe I can sort it out if not then copy and paste seemed to work.
Ajahn Brahm was pretty instrumental in my getting into Buddhism. My son has listened to him too! ;-)