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What did you think you would become?

JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
edited May 2012 in General Banter
I thought I would be a serene yogi eventually who meditates 6 hours each day and knows wisdom that he can teach to everyone.....

Instead I hear voices immediately when I wake up until I go to bed, and probably in my sleep. When I do meditation it is inevitable to get lost in the voices.

Getting through the day, meditating with the voices, and lighting candles in my shrine is my dharma practice.

Comments

  • ToshTosh Veteran
    I thought I'd be calmer, more disciplined, wiser, kinder; better.

    Sometimes it's two steps forward and three steps back, but at least I'm sober.
  • edited May 2012
    When I was younger, I always wondered who I would be when I was an adult, when I was older. Now that I am older (in my sixth decade of life) I finally realize that I have always been me.
  • ginabginab Veteran
    Me too... I thought I'd be more disciplined. I'm still the same old mess as usual! :rolleyes:
  • When I was younger, I always wondered who I would be when I was an adult, when I was older. Now that I am older (in my sixth
    decade of life) I finally realize that I have always been me.
    I really like that. Profound and simple all in one :)
  • @lamaramadingdong - Bingo! Buy that man (?) a banana! Wherever (or whenever) you go, there you are. :)

    Egad... I just realized that *I'm* in my sixth decade of life!
  • TheswingisyellowTheswingisyellow Trying to be open to existence Samsara Veteran
    I don't think I wanted to become something per se. Buddhism was more of something I stumbled upon, but having read some initial ideas I had to proceed. I would say that I had expectations of myself when I meditate and in my daily life. In my day to day activities I think I expected some sort of perfection in how I acted or felt. I have come to understand there is no perfection and there is no end to practice. I have also realized my joy and my anger are two sides of the same coin, they are part of me and this life I have and that's becoming okay. I'm slowly realizing I am okay.
  • Floating_AbuFloating_Abu Veteran
    edited May 2012
    I came through Buddhist experience (practice, not cultural aspects) through some internet advice, after that I had an unmistakeable what some would call awakening experience. Thereafter, I was hooked. Buddhism definitely had my attention, not through belief, but through experiential knowledge. Soon after I had a couple more noticeable experiences so in some ways I came through the (what some might call) the mystical doors and therefore I guess I always expected/assumed a high degree of ... I dont know what the word is exactly, but I expected a lot of answers, and desired it very much. I always had a sense or vision/desire for the 'prize' - enlightenment, Nibbana, truth, peace, love, kindnesss (something liek that) - even though the process itself felt sometimes like stumbling in the dark many times. It took me some time to even sit, I was so resistant to it and each time I sat it felt like a whirlwind/a typhoon. I visited many centers in search of a home, and also met many Buddhist teachers and leaders. My teacher is the one though for sure and I am very grateful for it all, even though it was sometimes very hard.
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