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Im new to this, all I seem to read about with Buddhism is negative stuff??
I know its not meant to be like that, but thats the message I seem to get, life is suffering, you shouldnt enjoy any pleasure or its called attachment and its wrong ect. Dont have sex for pleasure, dont drink beer, dont do this , dont do that, i thought Buddhism would lead me to a happy life and make me a calmer , stronger, peacefull person , but all i read is dont dont dont, wheres the advise, why is it so difficult to find any advise, or a teacher, ok rant over. im sur eim just the missing the point, or hope iam.
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Buddhism is about the alleviation of human suffering. Well, what is suffering? Shinzen Young, a brilliant meditator and teacher, says that suffering can be broken down into a very easy algorithm:
pain + resistance to pain = suffering
or
pleasure + clinging to pleasure = suffering
We can't always DECREASE pain or INCREASE pleasure. However, we can train ourselves to decrease our RESISTANCE or CRAVING toward these experiences. That is what Buddhism is: learning to experience pain without aversion, or pleasure without clinging.
No one says you HAVE to stop drinking. But, it tends to benefit you on the path of alleviating your own suffering to do so.
...and who the hell says you can't have sex for pleasure?
Here's a good website I recommend: http://www.BuddhaNet.net
Let me ask you a few questions:
What led you to an interest in Buddhism to begin with?
Do you see Buddhism as a religion or philosophy?
What do you hope to get out of Buddhism?
Read about right livelihood for laypersons
about right action for laypersons
about right view
Use the link at the top to go back to "the noble 8-fold path" - from there you can select each component and read suttas about it.
You will notice that inDighajanu Sutta, the lay person Dighajanu asks this way: Buddha does not tell him not to live like this, but advice him on how to live skillfully like this.
In the Yodhajiva Sutta Buddha refuses to answer the question. When the lay person insists, he has to answer - and he tells the person he cannot be a soldier and create good karma.
As you see, if Buddha think people are wrong he will refuse to answer or tell them why they are wrong - have wrong view. He never tells people not to live normal lives and sometimes enjoying themselves, but he tells them to be mindful.
It can seem that way at first, and it also depends on the Buddhist tradition you choose to practice.
Buddhism is not a one size fits all. Buddha recognised that we all have a different psychological make up, and said to "test" everything. Do not take his teachings on blind faith, or anything else for that matter. Take what makes sense to you, and leave what does not, but keep an open mind as you continue your practice, as what may or not make sense to you now, may do so later.
Buddha would rather you be true to yourself, rather than practice or adhere to a teaching that does not resonate with you. And he said not to give up your own faith or religion to practice his teachings, if you have one...unless you want to. It's not a case of either or. There are no rules only teachings and guidelines for lay Buddhists.
But remember that not all Buddhists believe the same things, so explore, and research, and test, and find your own path.
Namaste.
If you like to drink then drink, but be watchful and mindful on why you drink and how much you drink and see how you feel before, during, and after you drink. Only you can judge on what brings you joy or suffering.
Since you are just starting out, identify what your own goals are and start work towards those goals... there is no need to go cold turkey; after all, are you looking to be a monk or just find peace in your life.
Best wishes!
Martial Arts lead me to Buddhism, i think its both a religion and philosophy. I hope for it to make me a better person, more happy and peacefull and more able to deal with the crap that life throws at me
Clarrisa , thanks , i get what you mean , just sometimes need putting back on track, i wish i had a teacher or whatever the person is called who you meet up with and get advise from ect
If you are looking to accept Buddhism as a religion, then while you may interpret some things differently than other people, you are sort of "buying a package".
On the other hand, if you wish to adopt some Buddhist principles, you can be more selective.
Have a beer, watch a movie, have sex, listen to music, read a book, exercise, go to work-no problem, just don't cling to them and remain mindful.
There are 60 something in London.
You're a martial artist - on some level, you are training to hurt others - I suppose on day one a newbie to the art could just wish to break boards and perform multiple spin kicks - see how they change the more they learn - the harder they become, the less inclined they are to use it - ultimately, the way of the warrior leads to the inescapable "Let's play a nice game of chess"!! During that process there will me many moment when it gels but the next time it gels different - same facts, different interpretation.
If you're experiencing multiple prohibitions then consider each - it may be that you need such prohibitions to mould you to where you need to be - sometimes one needs a prohibition to be able to experience another side - take sex for pleasure for example - probably ok for consenting couples to just knock it out and enjoy - probably not so ok to be addicted to prostitutes... it's not universal - just common sense based on cause and effect - i.e. what works for you may not work for me at all.
No point placing expectations on buddhism - it cannot do anything - it is a construct to allow you to train your mind to do all the doing - it all comes from you, not buddhism.
The only point you seem to be missing is slow down - take it easy - relax and give yourself a break - it takes 3 years to obtain the average degree in any random subject - imagine how long a system of living takes to implement - everyday back to square 1!! Rather than looking for a conclusion, explore it and seek to see it from that view.
If someone told you to exercise and you didn't really understand or see the benefits you might think they were just trying to make you feel all tired and uncomfortable. If you stick with it and do the practice you can begin to see the effects and just like physical exercise at some point you can't imagine life without it.
That said, there are plenty of places in the Suttas where the Buddha talks about the skillful enjoyment of pleasures, whether meditative or sensual, as long as they don't harm or place any burdens on others. In AN 5.28, for example, the pleasure (sukha) and rapture (piti) experienced in first jhana is said to be "born from withdrawal [from the hindrances], accompanied by directed thought and evaluation." In the second jhana, a more refined form of pleasure and rapture is said to be "born of composure, unification of awareness free from directed thought and evaluation."
Then there's the "pleasant abiding" of the third jhana where one "permeates and pervades, suffuses and fills this very body with the pleasure divested of rapture, so that there is nothing of his entire body unpervaded with pleasure divested of rapture," and the fourth where one sits "permeating the body with a pure, bright awareness, so that there is nothing of his entire body unpervaded by pure, bright awareness."
Additionally, in AN 4.62, there's mention of "four kinds of bliss" that can be attained by a householder "partaking of sensuality" (i.e., indulging in a non-contemplative lifestyle): the bliss of having, the bliss of wealth, the bliss of debtlessness, and the bliss of blamelessness.
And of course, there's nibbana, "the highest bliss" (Dhp 204).