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Why should I care about anyone?
Buddhists often speak of metta, which annoys me. They make it sound like Buddhism is some kind of 'do gooder' religion where everybody is charitable like Teresa. But isn't Buddhism about liberation and only liberation? Buddha made it clear that getting out of this cycle of birth and death is all that matters. He never advocated charity, humanism, or any of those things.
So why is it Buddhists force you to care about everyone? Wouldn't that dilute our energy, make us worldly? Wouldn't that time and energy be better spent in reading, meditating etc.? Worldly activities, however noble, aren't salvific. So-called noble activities are simply a form of reciprocal altruism, nothing sacred. So why waste time pretending to be good when liberation is more important?
So why is it Buddhists force you to care about everyone? Wouldn't that dilute our energy, make us worldly? Wouldn't that time and energy be better spent in reading, meditating etc.? Worldly activities, however noble, aren't salvific. So-called noble activities are simply a form of reciprocal altruism, nothing sacred. So why waste time pretending to be good when liberation is more important?
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I assume your not a monk so for a layperson i recommend learning more about karma, rebirth, and how the monks rely on the lay people during alms rounds
Are we dead yet? As we are not, why would we NOT want to be compassionate to others around us. Why would we want to alienate them? Since our time would be spent helping others, I don't think it would be a form of attachment. In fact, couldn't the acts of kindness themselves be our way to our liberation?
@music why not find out these things for yourself? Is this your only source of information?
But sometimes he also asks very good questions. I'm not always clear what his motivations are.
I have to admit, that I sometimes toy with the idea that Buddhism is primarily about liberation from suffering...BUT...that is not all that life is about.
I'm referring to genuine acts of kindness. When are people genuinely compassionate and kind, I think that is when people's liberation will come. Not when it is forced or used as an "ends to justify the means".
These are just my thoughts.
I'm specially interested in metta, I introduced it in my daily meditation since last weekend, advised by a member of this site. I'm not "saint Teresa", but in only three days I have noticed the beneficial effects. But it isn't recommendable for all, and obviously it is not for you, @music.
Anyway, it isn't important which way we choose, only matters to choose well, according to our temperament. For all the ways of Buddhism drive us to nirvana.
What you want to know about is genuine and secret altuism? Well anyone is able to send me metta and boddhicitta in any quantity. This is a free service . . .
But was the Dharma as taught by Buddha only about you escaping the cycle of birth and death? Hardly. If that is enlightenment, then once Buddha became Awakened, he'd have spent the rest of his life gazing at his navel and to heck with anyone else. Instead he looked around at the world, and with a clear mind saw the terrible suffering of the people and was moved to compassion.
Instead of staying in his forest and spending the rest of his life in meditation, he spent the rest of his life teaching us how to eliminate suffering by creating the Dharma and Sangha for us. That was hard, frustrating, unrewarding work.
The Buddha started off like all of us, with selfish desires, including the desire to find the secret to happiness. Once you strip away selfish desires, what is left? Simple compassion. But you can't teach someone compassion. Compassion and charity are not the same thing. You can fake compassion by donating, but that doesn't help you at all. Bodhidharma was once asked by a King how much good karma all those temples the King ordered to be built brought, and the reply was "None whatsoever!" So again, you are right that forcing someone to act as if they have compassion is useless.
But you can point someone to compassion and let their Buddha Nature take over. The Noble Truths and Eightfold Path are designed to strip away the selfish desires that block you from connecting to life. When you act from compassion, you are being a Buddha. We recognize that. But we all start out like the Buddha before his Awakening, on a personal, selfish quest for our own happiness. We recognize that, also.
Thus, in a nutshell, there is a paradox. But it's only a paradox if you don't look at the Dharma as a whole. Is all this what you're looking for?
Only you know honestly what your motivations are.
I am confident that if I saw you fall in the street, I'd help you up - If I fell in the street, I wouldn't look for you to help me up - I'm not sure what that is but it doesnt feel like pretence.
Personally, I can't see how time may be wasted - that view seems to me to be rooted in ownership.
If one is not well practised in a self-less attitude like Metta it will be much harder for you to abandon Self grasping and its associated Delusional minds simply because the force of it is very strong.
Funny that innit?
A.A. teaches us that if we want to be happy and stay sober we have to help others stay sober, and by helping others I have found some measure of happiness.
I love the paradoxes.
I found this teaching on charity by the Buddha, after just a 30 second search on Access To Insight... Dighajanu (Vyagghapajja) Sutta: Conditions of Welfare
And some more... I like this one best...
doing a good turn for others,
and treating all people alike:
these bonds of sympathy are to the world
what the lynch-pin is to the chariot wheel.
That's nice eh!
If Metta isn't a logical path then I'm not so sure the heart of the dharma has been revealed.
If you want to be happy yourself, be compassionate."
HHDL
Whatever meritorious action one performs, all these together are not worth
1/16th part of a mind released into friendliness, since the mind released into
friendliness blazes forth, & outshines all with an unsurpassable brilliance...
So did the Lord Buddha state this matter, and he further added:
For the Noble friend, who by will, who fully aware and deliberately brings
infinite, boundless and endless friendliness into being, this mountain-like
limitless goodwill makes all evil substrate evaporate, & the chains of mind,
these mental fetters become thin, slender and slack.
Because infinite friendliness releases your mind thereby helping to cause liberation. Practicing good is an intrinsic part of trying to attain liberation. The Buddha did not call Metta one of the 4 divine abodes for no reason. He did not call it one of the ten perfections, for no reason. It's not Buddhists speaking of Metta which annoys you, it's the words of Buddha himself which annoys you. If you continue to think Metta is not part of Buddhism, you will never be liberated.
If we resist our natural tendency to care for others, then we are shutting other people out. As a result, we feel separation, which means suffering, and meditation will become more difficult.
The Mahayana reacted against this positing of Buddhism.
Individual freedom is great, but what is left is the world after ones own attainment of cessation.
From the vantage point of Mahayana there is only progression of ones own path when we help others. This isn't done in the extroverted, theistic vision of compassion. This is done with the wisdom of emptiness (self and phenomena). So this cuts the whole do gooder mentality ego. It's all an empty illusion and whats left is to create more illusion because hey there is nothing but the illusion and in fact this illusion is enlightenment itself.
From the vantage point of the gradual path cultivate the positive in ones life inside and outside create good conditions for a peaceful and calm mind. This becomes the ground for investigation and further penetration into the voidness of reality. Which ironically brings more compassion and love.
Lol.
But in the beginning its useful to have this type of mindset. It is useful to be selfish and narcissistic in ones own suffering. With time this evolves into the Mahayana aspiration.
Just another stage on the path.
"Monks, there are these three roots of what is unskillful. Which three? Greed is a root of what is unskillful, aversion is a root of what is unskillful, delusion is a root of what is unskillful.
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.002.than.html
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an03/an03.069.than.html
But nobody is forcing you to do anything :shrug:
If you think that when someone is being kind to you they're looking down on you, it's your own pride telling you that you're above help. Classic projection.
Think of others and you will be happy.
Think of yourself and you will be unhappy.
For example consider two couples. One couple only cares about themselves. The other couple loves each other. Which will be happier?
Consider two people. One only cares about himself. The other is caring of others. Now how many good friends will each have?
I think that to the degree one is able to soften one's ego.....real compassion, empathy, tenderness, sympathy, love and wisdom manifests.
To the degree that one is not able to soften ones ego...such graces remain an empty, feel good, Buddhist platitude that doge the real job at hand..
It's usually when metta is offered as some form of directed postal service, that I tread very carefully.
We start to see people as they are. We start to see their confidence. We start to see their misery. We dig a little deeper and we find nothing solid.
We open the aperture towards others because we finally realize that we can step over ourselves. Our problems are in a large way irrelevant in comparison to everyone elses.
And its not like we solve all our problems or anyone elses problems.
We out of seeing the world come to a tenderness within us. This tenderness has been hardened, solidified, covered by our aggression, fear, and ignorance. With practice we touch this dimension and we find a tremendous inspiration and surge of confidence. Such inspiration is a basic kindness we have towards the suffering people in our lives. And from this we respond. We smile, we hold the door, etc. Our lives no longer become ours but rather we live for others.
This isn't a forced idea or some idealistic notion. This is a down to earth practical stage in ones spiritual life. When the muddy waters of our shit is clear and the ground of meditation and meditative insight takes root in our life the nature outcomes is to move outwards. No longer is personal liberation valid when there is the wailing screams of everyone else in this burning ship we called our world. Bodhisattvas do not wish to have individual nirvana or the attainment of Arhatship. Bodhisattvas desire nothing short of complete Buddhahood and all the Bhumis shall be traversed so that we can all be of use to this broken world.
This is possible only because the emptiness of self and of phenomena are realized. Without this there is no clear inspiration. Without this then this path is utter madness.
And a naked Bodhisattva is lower than the sentient being. Lower, more vulnerable, naked and feels everything the sentient being feels but even more clearer. This is not a fun path, it is work. Dirty work.
So I understand the repulsion of working with others. With helping other beings. With caring for others. If the basic inspiration is not present well then don't force it. Your experience and life is calling for the winter. For you to take refuge in your life, in your practice and study to figure out your shit, your suffering.
Then one day once that antic is over, then you'll envision the Mahayana in your heart.
Anyways I am in a very melodramatic mood today. Best wishes friends.
No one made you the authority to decide who is or who is not a "true Buddhist".
We are all connected, every last one of us living beings on the planet, and our bodies are made up of the same materials. The only real way to feel that interconnectedness is to be able to care for others, and it most certainly is not condescending to care about others. If that is how you feel when you care for someone, well, then that is too bad. Compassion and pity are not the same thing.
If liberation of yourself is your only goal, that is your choice. Many Buddhists work to attain enlightenment or practice as a Bodhisattva to bring liberation to others as well. If you think Buddhism is entirely only about yourself, then you are free to believe that, but that is not what my practice is about.
Furthermore, the path itself is often described by the Buddha as a gradual path, which usually begins with teachings about the importance and benefits of generosity (dana) and morality (sila), with the latter itself being described as a gift to others "not open to suspicion, will never be open to suspicion, and are unfaulted by knowledgeable contemplatives & priests" (AN 8.39), and then moves on to more and more refined aspects, including things like developing the four brahma-viharas. So to say that the Buddha didn't advocate charity, either as "benevolent goodwill toward humanity" or "generosity and helpfulness especially toward the needy or suffering," isn't really accurate.
Developing dispassion towards the world doesn't mean forsaking our humanity and becoming cold to the sufferings of the world. The way I see it, the path is a holistic one, not an inhuman one where we become unfeeling robots immune to compassion and kindness.
But isn't it the case of pretty much all of spiritual endeavor ... acting like kids who try on their parents' shoes and then pretend to be "grown-ups?" We galumph around with "enlightenment" or "compassion" or "emptiness" or "liberation" or whatever other fifty-cent word without slowing down long enough to admit we're not entirely sure what it means to be a grown-up. (And by the time we are grown-ups, of course it's too late.
So, OK ... let's say for a moment we're fakin' it. It may not be very attractive, but it's what we can manage at the moment. Those who claim to have a better mouse trap are not doing much better but, what the hell, it's a better mouse trap... so, galumph at will.
But a little at a time, with practice, I think the dime begins to drop: "Compassion" (to pick one example) is not good because a hundred people join in a group hug and proclaim it good. It is good because it is what WORKS. It works in the sense that a peaceful life simply isn't possible without it. It's like a hammer ... not good, not bad ... it's just what works if you want to drive a nail.
And that is the case with the rest of what people may use ungodly amounts of time praising ... eg. the precepts. These are things that work in a peaceful life, irrespective of the hot air others may heap on them.
If something works, I use it. If it doesn't, I don't.
If it works, practice. If it doesn't, practice.
See what happens.
There is a big difference between feeling and/or trying to understand another's feelings and feeling sorry for them.
If you were able to live in isolation and meditate to reach liberation, then yeah, you don't need to care about anyone because no one is physically there.
If you live around people, then liberation cannot be achieved without caring. When someone is need of care or compassion, and you don't give it altruistically, then it weighs on your conscience. With that weight, it wouldn't be technically possible meditate properly and achieve liberation. It would be hard to truly have a clear mind.
Again, no one in Buddhism is forcing you to be like Mother Theresa. It would be nice if we all aimed to be like her. If you don't WANT to care for others (generally speaking), then you're not ready for Buddhism, and not ready to be on the road to liberation.
Also, sounds like you need to do more reading on what Buddhism is and isn't. Not trying to be confrontational, it's just that if you think you are forced to do anything in Buddhism, then you probably have other misconceptions of what Buddhism actually is.
You think humans are by nature violent?
Are you truly deeply sincere? Are your intentions here sincere? Do you have a teacher?
No there is no obligation to care for others. Just stay out of trouble. Be happy by yourself! You don't have to make a big project of being different from how you are. Things may change or maybe not. Be good to yourself.
note: should substitute 'one' for 'you' 'oneself' for 'yourself'
There is no 'one-size fits all' way to live. Serva Mangalam.
I don't think humans are by nature violent, but I certainly think they can be violent.