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Enlightenment by Christmas 2013 - possible?

lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
edited December 2012 in General Banter
Now that I intend to become enlightened and possibly even a Buddhist, I am wondering what the fastest path is? Obviously I will have to cut out all the irrelevancies. So I will have no time to shop for the latest dharma fashion accessories or worry about the size or contents of my zafu. I might have to answer koans, oh dear I can hardly answer the phone without thinking it is a distraction . . .
Should I contact my old teacher? He may be dead. Does it matter?

Decisions. Decisions.

Are they all critical? Maybe I should just give up?
I hear Zen, Tantra and Dzogchen are my best bet?
My mind is all over the place. Is this abnormal?

Comments

  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    lobster said:

    Now that I intend to become enlightened and possibly even a Buddhist, I am wondering what the fastest path is? Obviously I will have to cut out all the irrelevancies. So I will have no time to shop for the latest dharma fashion accessories or worry about the size or contents of my zafu. I might have to answer koans, oh dear I can hardly answer the phone without thinking it is a distraction . . .
    Should I contact my old teacher? He may be dead. Does it matter?

    Decisions. Decisions.

    Are they all critical? Maybe I should just give up?
    I hear Zen, Tantra and Dzogchen are my best bet?
    My mind is all over the place. Is this abnormal?

    I'm trying to find the Sutta.. but it escapes me.. there is a sutta where the Buddha talks about how someone could become enlightened in 7 years they follow the path.. then he drops it to 7 months, 7 days etc..
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited December 2012
    The fastest path is to stop. Then slow down. Then cancel that penis enlargement and read Chogyam Trungpa's Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism. Oh and drink ovaltine and don't shoot your eye out. :thumbsup:
    lobsterecdrewello1
  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    edited December 2012
    Kensho only visits those who have forgotten
    they ever sent it an invitation, so no sense
    trying to prep the place for that visitor.

    There's not a moment to forget..
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    edited December 2012
    I'm starting with a book of nothing as soon as I forget to remember or vice versa . . .
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    Some people are dying for enlightenment. It always leaves me confused.

    On the one hand they are dying for enlightenment, but when you ask them if they know what enlightenment is, the best they can do is regurgitate what someone else has said ... which hardly sounds like enlightenment at all.

    How can anyone long for something they claim to know nothing about?

    On the other hand, if they do know what enlightenment is, why would they long for it in the first place? Wouldn't that be like longing for the nostril hairs you already have?

    All in all, I think @Jeffrey's penis enhancement program sounds much more sensible, but, as I say, I am confused.
    blu3ree
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    Even the enlightened seem confused?
  • lotuspadmalotuspadma
    edited December 2012
    Lobster, the fastest way is slowing down. Also, the more you run after Nibbana, the more it runs from you. You wish to become enlightened and that very wishing keeps you from attaining it. You should let go of wishes. So, just slow down and let it happen. If it doesn't, well... at the very least you'd have become much closer to it this way.
  • TalismanTalisman Veteran
    Renunciation of worldly existence. Go into homelessness and seek out the Sangha of those Disciples who have practiced well. You have one heck of a journey before you, friend :)
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    Slow down eh? Maybe I need a touch of tao?
  • lotuspadmalotuspadma
    I said wish, but I meant desire, btw.
    I agree with Talisman inasmuch as becoming a monk. It's easier than being a householder, but just know that it still isn't easy at all.
    You need a touch of everything good you might find. The dhamma is everywhere.
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    The wish for enlightenment is the fundamental compassion of the universe. So don't discount it. The problem is trying to meet that goal and all the tragic strategies we employ on this earth. I think some of the common sense approach and also inspire yourself with pranidhanas to practice hard in this life and others. Read Chogyam Trungpa or whoever floats your boat. Keep on rocking in the rocking chair world.
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran
    Jayantha said:



    I'm trying to find the Sutta.. but it escapes me.. there is a sutta where the Buddha talks about how someone could become enlightened in 7 years they follow the path.. then he drops it to 7 months, 7 days etc..

    Yes, it's at the end of the Satipatthana Sutta. But just imagine trying to be fully mindful for a whole week - I can't manage 7 minutes. :D
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    edited December 2012
    PedanticPorpoise said:

    Jayantha said:



    I'm trying to find the Sutta.. but it escapes me.. there is a sutta where the Buddha talks about how someone could become enlightened in 7 years they follow the path.. then he drops it to 7 months, 7 days etc..

    Yes, it's at the end of the Satipatthana Sutta. But just imagine trying to be fully mindful for a whole week - I can't manage 7 minutes. :D
    right under my nose in a major sutta! sadu friend :)

    http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/dn/dn.22.0.bpit.html

    "Now, if anyone would develop these four frames of reference in this way for seven years, one of two fruits can be expected for him: either gnosis right here & now, or — if there be any remnant of clinging-sustenance — non-return.

    "Let alone seven years. If anyone would develop these four frames of reference in this way for six years... five... four... three... two years... one year... seven months... six months... five... four... three... two months... one month... half a month, one of two fruits can be expected for him: either gnosis right here & now, or — if there be any remnant of clinging-sustenance — non-return.

    "Let alone half a month. If anyone would develop these four frames of reference in this way for seven days, one of two fruits can be expected for him: either gnosis right here & now, or — if there be any remnant of clinging-sustenance — non-return.

    "'This is the direct path for the purification of beings, for the overcoming of sorrow & lamentation, for the disappearance of pain & distress, for the attainment of the right method, & for the realization of Unbinding — in other words, the four frames of reference.' Thus was it said, and in reference to this was it said."


    there you go Lobster... get to work! lol
  • blu3reeblu3ree Veteran
    "The moment transcends eternity" unfortunately I don't have the name of the person whom said this famous quote
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