Firstly, I would like to say, if you haven't seen the movie yet... GO SEE IT. I was kind of cringing before I went, so nervous that I would be disappointed because I loved the book so much. And whenever you love a book that much, the movie usually blows. But as someone who was rather obsessed with the book throughout my angsty teenage years, I can say that I was not disappointed in the least. Not only did the author, Stephen Chbosky, write the screenplay, but he also directed the film and the soul of the book really transferred better than I expected.
But be prepared... you will probably cry. I'm not usually a crier, but I cried. My girlfriend cried. But it wasn't a horrible sad kind of crying, sometimes I was just so simply touched with emotion and feeling, I couldn't help it.
"Because I know there are people who say all these things don't happen. And there are people who forget what it's like to be 16 when they turn 17. I know these will all be stories someday. And our pictures will become old photographs. We'll all become somebody's mom or dad. But right now these moments are not stories. This is happening, I am here and I am looking at her. And she is so beautiful. I can see it. This one moment when you know you're not a sad story. You are alive, and you stand up and see the lights on the buildings and everything that makes you wonder. And you're listening to that song and that drive with the people you love most in this world. And in this moment I swear, we are infinite."
Seeing the movie brought me right back to my teenage years. It brought me back to the time when I felt like, I, too, couldn't participate. And it made me remember that that was one of the many things I learned from this book. Just to BE THERE. Be INFINITE. The idea of being "infinite" is mentioned multiple times in the book/movie. But when I thought about it as a kid, I now realize, I never understood it. I always thought about it as a futile delusion, because of course, we are never infinite. We never will be. We will all fade and grow old and die... someday. Impermanence, right? It was like the idea of being infinite was just an excuse for being reckless and doing what you want RIGHT NOW. Live fast, die young and all that jazz. That's how I used to think about it.
But maybe it's because the movie really painted it all out for me... or maybe it's just because I'm much older now... or maybe it's Buddhism's infiltration of my brain... but I finally realized that I had it backwards all along. In each moment, there is no past, there is no future... each moment stands alone, a perfect segment of time which is NOW. And in each moment, right up until your last, we are infinite.
"Maybe it's good to put things in perspective, but sometimes, I think that the only perspective is to really be there."
It's apparently a lesson I needed to learn again because I walked away from that movie realizing that sometimes... I still just really need to get out of my head. But it inspired me to... and I feel like that's important, somehow. I honestly think that lately, I just forgot that I was alive.