Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Regrets etc
ThailandTom
Veteran
If you knew that at the end of this day you were going to die for whatever reason, would you feel as if you have spent your time wisely in life, would you have any regrets? I guess this something that cannot be answered totally honestly until you are in that situation though.
0
Comments
I would just be happy that I'd have enough time to say goodbye and give all of my money and things away to people who could use them.
I feel my dharma is to help others. I think sometimes i dont realise how much i am actually benefiting others lol. Many stories to tell to reflect this point but i wont bore you.
All the best dude.
Have I done every thing, every word, every action, every choice 100% the way I wish I would have? LOL goodness, of course not. But if I had I would have nothing to learn and I wouldn't be here.
The only thing I would say I regret is holding a lot of anger towards my kid's father. I wish I had had the chance to get over that anger and tell him what I really thought of the person he was before he died. But he was always good for teaching me lessons, and I learned that one well. I don't miss a single opportunity that I can find to tell someone what I think of them as a person and that I care for them, even if I greatly disagree with some of their choices. Because once you lose the chance to reconcile that, it takes a long time to get over it. I looked back on it for a long time, which was just a waste of the time I could have spent doing other things.
Then again, I've trained in martial arts for years and as a practical joke someone jumped out of the dark at me and I screamed and froze...
I'd like to think I'd face death with a little more dignity.
A.A. teaches that we shouldn't have regrets and that we should use our past to help others; we try and get other alcoholics to identify with us by sharing our past with them.
Still, I have regrets, but I use this to try and motivate myself to live a better way. I don't think having regrets is bad if we can transform it into something positive, though I think guilt is extremely damaging and is of no use.
I seem to meditate a lot more when it's not on "the list." And the other stuff on the list gets done whenever it gets done. So much time worrying about it.
Yes, I have a few (although very few) big regrets. I don't dwell on them since I cannot change them now...and if I could, I already would have.
I'd say she had a life well-lived.
I always make sure the people I love and care about know that I love them and care about them. I have no secrets in my life, everyone knows where they stand with me. If I die tomorrow there will be nothing left undone and nothing left unsaid. Yes there are still things I would like to do with my life but if my time comes then the only reason I didn't get round to doing those things is that I died too young.
@music, people of all social economic statuses are quite capable of feeling regret. We all have to make choices, we all have relationships with others. Money makes certain things easier, but it doesn't guarantee that everything in life is going to be a smooth ride.
Although I wish I could go back and start again with the knowledge I know now, the only thing I can do is keep living my life with what I do know and hope to be a better person.
Anyway, I agree with @music, as much as most of us say we won't regret this or that, I am sure most of us will have some when that faithful day comes, you would have to be quite advanced when it comes to insight and the dharma to not worry or have regrets about such a thing. As I mentioned in my OP, it is easy to say this or that now but we won't know fully until the day comes.
But if I really were in that situation, I would probably be too preoccupied with other thoughts than feeling sorry for myself--if I *knew* I was about to die, I would have some important phone calls to make to say some goodbyes and to thank them for being in my life and for all the things they taught me (really, I'm not just spouting platitudes here). I'd be writing letters, emails, making phone calls, and, perhaps talking to some people face to face.
Yes, there are regrets, but what I have to be thankful for so far outweighs any of that. I would rather devote those last hours to expressing gratitude rather than regret.