Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Does your family know you're Buddhist?

DaftChrisDaftChris Spiritually conflicted. Not of this world. Veteran
And if so, what was their general reaction?

My family does not know I apply Buddhist practice to my life. They know of my interest in world religions, but they still think that I'm a Christian. I tried telling my mom of mediation and mantras and her reaction was "Christ can provide you so much more".

I no longer discuss religion with her or the family. There is no point and why bring up something that can cause an issue?
riverflowInvincible_summerlobstercaz

Comments

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Most of my family is gone. My mother knew, before her death, and she was fine with it, and even a tad bit interested...but she was not a particularly religious person. My adopted son, who is Pakistani and Muslim, is very fine with it.
    riverflowDaftChrisInvincible_summer
  • @DaftChris - I'm sorry to hear that about your family, though unfortunately I imagine it isn't unusual either. And if I were in a similar position I would avoid it altogether also (my ex-in-laws I did have to avoid talking about my very liberal Christian views around them--they were southern Baptists. It made visits at least a little more bearable (usually haha)

    My parents are left-of-centre Catholics. Some years ago I finally came out as an atheist, and though my mother especially didn't understand, my sister (also Catholic) understood where I was coming from (I'm not really a "hardcore" atheist). My family has always been fairly open-minded about things and has encouraged questioning, even if they didn't always agree or understand what I felt was an answer to those questions. I think the main thing for them is that I am happy.

    I did hesitate at first with telling them about turning to Buddhism though, but it wasn't long before I told them. They always ask me about my visits to the local monastery now and its actually fun sharing with them because much of it is new to me as well. I think we look more for common ground than the differences and so we both learn more from one another in our dialogues. We've always been that way though as long as I can remember.

    DaftChrisInvincible_summer
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    To varying degrees. I don't hide it, but I don't feel a need to flaunt it, either. If it comes up, I'm happy to talk about it. My grandma thinks it's all voodoo, LOL. Which is funny because if she would learn about it in general terms without labeling it, she'd have no problem with it, but somewhere along the line she picked up that Buddhism is voodoo, lol.
    My mom still defines as Christian but she's very open minded and she is into things that are parts of other religions but refuses to see it that way. I discuss Buddhism with her frequently.
    I talked about it with my sister as well, she defines are Buddhist (in part).
    My dad doesn't have any religion, but he knows, I'm sure, about mine between my FB postings, my information on FB and the Buddhist stuff all around the house, lol.

    No one in my life has a problem with it. If they do, they have never voiced their opinion to me. My in-laws are very devout, practicing Catholics, but they aren't the holier than thou types, and are quite open minded and accepting. I adore them. Same for the rest of my husband's family.
    riverflowDaftChrisInvincible_summerlobster
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    I had to take a break to take care of the ferrets, lol.
    I wanted to add that, as I've gotten older, I've worried less about having to "out" aspects of my life to anyone. I don't hide who I am, and I'm not going to do so to make anyone else happy or comfortable. When I was younger, I worried more about it. Now I'm a lot more "you have no choice to accept me for who I am if you want any part in my life." But, my ability to feel that way has had a lot to do with the security of knowing I can be myself and my family will always be there. Sometimes it's really, really hard to stand up and be the only person saying "hey, yeah, I believe/feel/think something else." But it's a great gift to give yourself.

    I have devout Catholics, non-practicing Christians of all sorts, Pagans, Lutherans, other Buddhists, and "no religion at all" people in my life and yet all of us have the same basic views and values and such. I grew up in a family that didn't always get along, but I also grew up in a family where people were to be respected no matter their differences, and it was reinforced by grandparents, aunts, uncles, and many others.
    riverflowInvincible_summerVastmind
  • JohnGJohnG Veteran
    Yes they do, and they still think I'll come around to my senses and forget this drabble and return to normal. :coffee:
    lobsterriverflowDaftChrisVastmind
  • Yes.
    Im fortune enough to have very open minded parents and brother. the rundown is...
    My mom is christian,
    My stepfather is jewish,
    My brother is agnostic but interested in buddhism and philosophy,
    Im buddhist.
    I can talk to them all very openly.
    Invincible_summerDaftChrislobsterriverflow
  • Invincible_summerInvincible_summer Heavy Metal Dhamma We(s)t coast, Canada Veteran
    My Baptist parents know I meditate, but I'm not sure if they know that I identify as a "Buddhist." Not that they would really care all that much (to my surprise) - I remember the first time I talked to them about meditation, they kept nodding and going "Yes! Buddhists are nice people! It's good that you are learning Buddhist things!"

    I don't think my younger brother really knows because I don't keep in touch with him that often, as he lives out of town and is too busy to e-mail me regularly.

    My grandparents (especially my grandfather) would probably collapse if he found out I was Buddhist.
    riverflow
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited May 2013
    Like @DaftChris I have an affinity for the Pagan/Hindu/Buddhist deity Ganesh. My family would be quite happy if I had elephant statues. In America they might think I was a republican. Instead I have Buddhas in the garden, in the kitchen, in the bathroom and even in the masonry.

    We also have trees, which the Buddha said would be a better representation of his dharma than the Greek fashion items we use.

    In different circumstances I might have to be a closet Buddhist. Freedom is a wonderful situation not open to all of us. If not outward. Go inward. :wave:
    riverflow
  • TheEccentricTheEccentric Hampshire, UK Veteran
    My family are all secular, my Mother is interested in it and goes to Meditation classes with me and I discuss it with me, My Brother has been fine with it and bought me a Buddha statue for my Birthday which was thoughtful of him. My Father is ok with it to but he does make annoying jokes about it sometimes.
    lobsterriverflow
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited May 2013
    DaftChris said:

    And if so, what was their general reaction?

    My family does not know I apply Buddhist practice to my life. They know of my interest in world religions, but they still think that I'm a Christian. I tried telling my mom of mediation and mantras and her reaction was "Christ can provide you so much more".

    I no longer discuss religion with her or the family. There is no point and why bring up something that can cause an issue?

    Yes, they know I'm a Buddhist, and they hope it's a phase I'll grow out of. But not because they're Christian or anything; because they don't want me ordaining and moving to Thailand. They're cool with it otherwise, though.
    VastmindriverflowInvincible_summer
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited May 2013
    Oddly....my parents were hippies...and taught me these things...
    however, when they got older and moved to the South....they turned
    conservative.... I mean like Whoooaaa! Not Baptist...but I
    think the other social nuances and the attitudes that came
    with them...... because we spent too much
    time apart....were they not who they were before? or is 'now' the
    lie they are living.....who the hell knows? hahaha...They know I'm Buddhist.
    I'm grown with kids of my own....so thats a period to that.
    The last time I visited, I left a small Buddha in the corner of
    the woods....hahaha...I'm sure someone has found it by now.


    My Catholic Nana took me to Mass as a child.....
    and to this day...she was my favorite person in my life!

    She didn't know because she got Alzheimer's at an early
    age...and her understanding was declining. She was able
    to visit my house once...but I think it was when we first moved
    in, and I cant remember if my altar's were up yet....but her
    mind was together up until I was about 22...so her impact on my
    life was meaningful!!! Even when she had no idea who I was...
    we did have fun together!

    Oh my! sorry for going on and on....
    riverflowTheEccentricJeffrey
  • black_teablack_tea Explorer
    Yes, though I don't really discuss it with them much--I tend to be rather private about things like that. I mentioned that I was considering becoming a vegetarian due to reading Buddhist teachings. They also know that I've been to some local centers. They don't care. My dad thinks meditation is healthy (he's a psychologist), and my mother told me that of all the organized religions, she has the most respect for Buddhism. When I was still nervous about checking out sanghas in my area, my brother told me not to worry about it and just go. So, yeah, no drama on that front.
    Jeffrey
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    Strange to think that something that might be called "intimate" or "secret" or "precious" or "wondrous" becomes as plain as old socks when it comes out in the open. This is not to say that others may not have conniptions and deserve a studied silence, but still ... it's just socks, isn't it ... just human-being stuff?
    Invincible_summer
  • SabreSabre Veteran
    edited May 2013
    Yes, they know. Although I think they might see it as a phase. :D
    Sort of like puberty..
    Do you know this feeling? As if they might have been 'happier' with a 'normal' kid. But you know, I can't help it.. They accept it though, and I'm very happy for that. Not everybody has parents like that.
    riverflowJeffreyTheEccentric
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think The liminal space Veteran
    I told my mom early on and she was open about it. She herself converted from a strict Catholic family to Lutheran!, so I think she was more accepting. Also she isn't very strict about the theology or anything, her favorite part about church is the music :rockon: Over the years none of my family has really talked much about it, I prefer to let my actions speak for my Buddhism. The best thing it has brought me in relation to my family is I no longer have to go to church when I visit during Christmas or Easter. :)
    riverflowJeffreyTheEccentric
  • Wisdom23Wisdom23 Veteran
    Considering i have a good sized buddha statue sitting on my book shelf and they have asked me the " What would Buddha do?" type questions i would pressume so. My fiance teases me about it but she would tease me reguardless. Although i do so much study of theology and philosophy they may just think i'm wierd.

    End of the day there is only one question need be asked. Are you happy? If yes then keep calm and buddha on. If no meditate on what makes you truely happy. For me i love finding out wierd facts, playing the fool and i know i shouldnt being buddhist and all but i enjoy sarcasm.

    Peace out peeps.
    riverflow
Sign In or Register to comment.