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lettting go
how
Veteran Veteran
I tend to use this term because it describes the process of releasing something that one has been holding onto or pushing away.
I take it for granted that it is a universal experience connected to meditation and is perhaps just described differently by different practitioners but some recent posts here make me wonder about my assumption.
Outside of equating the term "letting go" to one practise form or another.....
How would the folks here describe their experience of "letting go"?
I take it for granted that it is a universal experience connected to meditation and is perhaps just described differently by different practitioners but some recent posts here make me wonder about my assumption.
Outside of equating the term "letting go" to one practise form or another.....
How would the folks here describe their experience of "letting go"?
3
Comments
Part of it is also recognizing that these experiences are temporary and do not hold the importance I have often assigned to them. That makes it easier to let them go.
All the best,
Todd
it doesn't seem to be such a bondage....mentally or physically. Whatever the
issue might be. I am able to loosen some ego attachments and try to make better choices about the direction I want/need to go in. I can better see things from
different sides....once I drop/set down/let go of expectations.
Meditation trains my mind to deal with letting go......
But then I tried it again, just to be sure I wasn't mistaken. I wasn't! I don't let go easily; not of stuff that I think I like anyway, even if it causes me trouble.
Can you guys be a bit more specific; maybe give an example of stuff you've let go of and the process you went through?
I had what I would describe as bordering on an addiction to pornography / masturbation.
It took me a year or two to shake but the first step was to put filters on all the devices I could connect to the internet on and I made my wife create and keep secret the password.
Since then I've used the meditation technique of thinking of the 32 parts of the body individually to help me. Also, I try and avoid triggers (TV shows with nudity etc.)
I actually used to think that I couldn't let strong, lustful thoughts pass without having to masturbate to get rid of them! It seems crazy now but I have learnt that, like all emotions, you can ride it out without having to act on it.
Anyway, there have been a couple of hiccups over the last year or so but I feel like each one of them has made my resolve stronger and almost made it easier to break the habit.
It was hell. My body was mad at me for about 6-7 months.
I prepared my self for the withdrawals, but I had to realize it
was an attachment and more about the bondage to the action.
My next attachment would be yelling at the hubby. My sister is deaf,
so everyone in my family says after her hearing aids....we all became
yellers, hahahah.....My loudness would make him mad, all the time,
and spending time with the nuns and monks have really taught met
how to quiet down and how to listen deeply. I realized it was a habit
and an attachment that I had to deal with...practicing the opposite seems
to help of letting go of what you dont want. Do what you DO want.
Caring for my aging parents have let me go of ill feelings I have
had in the past.
Thanks.
Upādāna is the Sanskrit and Pāli word for "clinging," "attachment" or "grasping", although the literal meaning is "fuel."
Some interesting commentary on it! From here http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/mountains.html
Expectations. Since May, I've had to let go of a fair few things, and it's been exceptionally hard. The hardest thing I've had to let go of is a long life expectancy. I'm dying. I have no idea how long till I have to let go of the hardest thing there is - life itself. I've cried, screamed, smashed things, cried some more, contemplated suicide and finally, when I had nothing left to give to anger, I let go. it wasn't as hard as I thought.
And now I CHOOSE to let go of the petty things like arguing, worrying about my weight and how I look and focus on making sure that when I finally let go of life, I leave this world all the better for having lived in the first place.
But it IS a tiring practise.
In metta,
Raven
just 'let go of' 'it'
Maybe we can 'hold that thought' for others whilst they let go of it . . .
What happens when we let go of letting go? Rebirth. :vimp:
If it comes, it comes; if it doesn't that is OK too.
"For whom there is neither a farther shore,
Nor a hither shore, nor both,
Who is undistressed and unfettered,
Him I call a Brahmin."
Dhp 385
Letting go of people for example is a stumbling block for me. I know the ones that have left are gone but I'd still like to hold on to the memories even as I won't live in the past. Afterall, everybody has something to teach that we can use in the now. It vexed me and for a time I tried letting go of everything but even then... I had to eat.
I realized I was getting too caught up with letting go that I was forming just another unhealthy attachment. Even Buddha... He could have headed in any direction after getting up from that tree but he didn't. He went back to the Gotamas before his travels.
It wasn't until I let go of letting go and found the middle again that I knew I could be happy.
The middle is where it's at.
Letting go or holding on tight-tighter-tightest ....
How well does that actually work?
Oh really?
Is it when the clinging 'leaves' ?
Me too
sometimes...
Letting go just describes allowing phenomena it's own birth, life and death instead of it defining who I am.
The self, as an expression of that definition, is what is let go of to allow phenomena and this bag of Skandas to be unchained from each other.
As I type, I feel the fear easing, but I know it'll return at some stage, and at some later stage be gone all together.
In the old days I could escape negative mental afflictions by drinking, but that option isn't there anymore. It's easy to say 'don't worry', but putting it into practise is another matter. It's the same with saying 'let the fear go', or even saying 'let the fear stay', don't push or pull against it.
But in reality, it's not so simple. I could distract myself from it in a number of ways; some healthy, some unhealthy. I can sit with mental pain these days; but I still don't like it.
And then I think of dharmachick who has a lot of uncertainty about whether she's going to live or not, or I can think of many other people in a far more unfortunate position than myself and I can think "Wow, you really are a self centred gimp, Tosh!"
I'll continue to be mindful when I remember, meditate (even if I don't feel like it), and practise compassion (because I'm in A.A. and it keeps me sober and I get a lot of pleasure from it).
But wouldn't it be wonderful if someone could give me a quick fix?
Sit up and take it easy. Repeat until at ease.
People can not believe it is so easy. There must be something 'more'. Something to get their teeth into. Sorry . . . gonna have to let all those hard meditative delusions go . . .
:om:
Welcome to cowards Zen 101
Being a real fear pussy myself, I have discovered the benefits of surrendering completely to a fear, as my quick fix. I mentally roll on the floor with my belly exposed in my best capitulation/ take me, pose.
It quickly illuminates that it is my resistance to the consequences of whatever I fear that really is the real source of my suffering.
My mind can conjure up all kinds of mischief.
*Stop laughing you lot!!!
I have my struggles, they are quite universal.
But in a sense, when I let go of one thing, I am caught in its opposite.
The catch is in the famous opening line of the Xinxin Ming:
“The Ultimate Path is without difficulty, just avoid picking and choosing”.
But avoiding is picking and choosing!
The same problem is pointed at in the stories of “polishing the mirror” and “rubbing the brick”.
It is important to be able to turn around and completely accept life as it is, including the struggles with addictions and obsessive thoughts and behaviors.
“If you want to cross the ocean of suffering, you must take the ship with no bottom.”
In a way, when I define what freedom is for me, I define the place where I am stuck.
Maybe just seeing that, is the ultimate letting go.
another possibility....
I am not sure that "letting go" is the polar opposite from hanging on tightly.
There is our dream of an innate separate self and there is waking up from that dream. There is our identity manifested by the fiddling with phenomena and there is not engaging in that fiddling.
The former can be said to be caught whereas the latter leaves no thing to be caught.
I'm a worrier too. These days I worry about my children as much as myself so it doesn't get easier. I try to let go of my fear but it still lurks in the shadows waiting for a low point to torment me. In some ways anxiety is just another addiction.
I am sad at this moment. I am thinking about old fights with family, unresolved issues, and focusing compulsively on mean things that have been said and done to me. Part of me thinks that these thoughts are simply a way of my brain to "figure out" why I'm sad or how to stop it. But there is no stopping and there is no out.
I am still struggling to find the path and walk it, but maybe letting go is about letting go of the mental images, the hurt feelings, the constant recriminations and simply being depressed when I feel depressed. Just feel what you feel without labels or reasons. When I am happy, I will just be happy, without any regards as to the reason or source of that happiness. Now, I am unhappy, but that is only a superficial change.
You know there is a method that we can use to let go of old fights with family and unresolved issues. In fact from a Buddhist point of view, this is excellent stuff to work with; it's real 'spiritual warrior' stuff, because it takes some balls to do; but done correctly it can transform negative situations into something quite wonderful.
Letting go is great, but for me, I need a METHOD for me to be able to let go of something. I have to do this, this, and this and the result is a letting go. But there definitely is a wonderful method for dealing with old fights and unresolved issues; if we're brave enough to do it.
I've just googled for the teaching, but can't find it. I have it in one of my text books; if you're interested, I'll type it up for you?
the delusions, therefore liberation. Methods are right
action....right effort......right?....From my understanding,
it's a huge part of the process.
Who around here can just do it? Without a method?
Yeah right....don't let them fool ya...hahaha
http://web.archive.org/web/20030828015822/http://pages.britishlibrary.net/edjason/eight/
What is your experience/description of letting go?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Buddhist-Psychology-Foundation-Thought/dp/0861712722/ref=sr_1_sc_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381858206&sr=8-1-spell&keywords=buddhist+psychology+geshi+tashi+tsering
But when very significant "letting go" has occurred in my life, it's been one of those things where I never really noticed it until after it happened. My mind wasn't focused on clinging or releasing... yet the pressure of whatever was there dissipated.
Last night I found out my cousin had taken her own life. I now have to let go of my grief and accept that her time here is over and hopefully she will have a better rebirth than the life she had this time (abused by her father, schizophrenia)
In metta,
Raven
I think this brings up a valid concern for the way that a misinterpretation of "letting go" can become a manifestation of craving. I think of "Letting go" as just not holding on to something but I have heard some talk about it as a method for separating ourselves from stuff that is unpleasant which of course just causes more suffering.
You meditate and cry. Letting go. You sit in pain, frustrated, angry . . . whatever. Feel but not overwhelmed . . .
Raven, my morning practice is for you, cousin and family . . . I hope others will dedicate puja :wave:
hahaha...what is after the notice part called ??
In metta,
Raven
We are a compilation of karmic entanglements.
Meditation untangles those knots and "letting go"
is just the experience of that unknotting.
A transition of self toward selflessness.
It is really difficult to pin down because the activity of "letting go" diminishes the very construct that we need to pin anything down. To court that is to pull at our identities veil of protection and alter our very frame of reference for experiencing "letting go".
I suspect that every moment brings me a different experience of "letting go".
. . . could not resist . . .
In alchemy the idea is to coalesce and dissipate (coagulate and dissolve)
Initially it is so important to tighten and relax around easy or positive aspects of self/dharma.
Eventually even our hardest tightenings can be let go of . . . without the usual suspects arising . . .
:wave: