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How to handle narcissist relative

rohitrohit Maharrashtra Veteran

What is good way to handle people who seems to be depressed but don't have any way to rescue from it. When we try to solve problems they keep repeating negative thoughts. When we advice they get hurt by our words which we are are not aware of , and they become our enemy because we have said something while advising and telling truth.
And when we avoid them they become our enemy and wish worst curse for us.

It's easy to avoid stranger but how to handle such people who are relative or working in same office. Major problem is they become our enemy and facing them becomes bone inside throat which can not be swallow or throw out.

Once a interviewer asked Trump " How do you deal with employees who do not listen you", Trump said "I do not deal with them anymore and now they are working for others". How we can go away and not hurt them at same time.

Is is better to keep quite. Or any other suggestion? please help. I would be very thankful.

mmo

Comments

  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    You do the best you can, but there may come a point where you can't give any more. Sometimes people just aren't ready to hear the truth. Does this relative need professional help, and is there anyone else in the family who can help?

    rohit
  • rohitrohit Maharrashtra Veteran
    edited July 2015

    @SpinyNorman said:
    You do the best you can, but there may come a point where you can't give any more. Sometimes people just aren't ready to hear the truth. Does this relative need professional help, and is there anyone else in the family who can help?

    People here think that taking help of psycho therapists is serious problem therefore no use of it. Moreover person would becomes very angry if advised to take such treatment. Then even more curse need to face for this advice.

    Everyone ended up as it is, after tried to help. Problem is feeling of revenge attitude in person for others for own mistakes. Just hanged up in life and don't want others to move in their respective lives.

    silver
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    @rohit said:> Everyone ended up as it is, after tried to help. Problem is feeling of revenge attitude in person for others for own mistakes. Just hanged up in life and don't want others to move in their respective lives.

    That does happens sometimes when people are unhappy, frustrated and angry, they take it out on the people close to them.

    lobstermmorohitRowan1980
  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    @rohit said:People here think that taking help of psycho therapists is serious problem therefore no use of it. Moreover person would becomes very angry if advised to take such treatment. Then even more curse need to face for this advice.
    Everyone ended up as it is, after tried to help. Problem is feeling of revenge attitude in person for others for own mistakes. Just hanged up in life and don't want others to move in their respective lives.

    It really is tricky business to try and cope with people in that shape. They can be like flypaper; you try to touch their lives in a helpful and meaningful way, but it can seem dangerous to your own well-being to interact like that. My mil was described as incompetent, when I described her to a good therapist. They are messed up for sure, so it would be best to stay as far away from them as possible ... they would term 'meddling' in their messed-up state of being. If I were you, I would be as pleasant as I can, but know they are in an unreachable sort of attitude - for now. You can always hope for them, and send out good vibes as it were, but accept your own limitations.

    rohitlobster
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran

    Gratitude Aunt Fede. I needed to hear that. Just in that way.

    @federica

    lobster
  • RodrigoRodrigo São Paulo, Brazil Veteran

    If we are in a garden, what do we see? Red flowers, yellow flowers, many shades of green. Some flowers may have thorns, some plants may grow in uncommon shapes. However, we don't think that any of these must be fixed, or handled. We just appreciate their beauty.

    I think it's the same with people. Nobody needs fixing. What we can do is to decide if we are going to be with someone or not. If we decide to be with someone, we must do it wholeheartedly.

    Jeffrey
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    @Rodrigo said: If we decide to be with someone, we must do it wholeheartedly.

    That's not always easy when we are talking about family members or work colleagues.

    lobsterrohit
  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    I've heard that 'nobody needs fixin'' before -- some really believe that -- I'm not so sure. :lol: -- and comparing posies to peeps/poseurs is left wanting. (although my mother did call me her hot house posie' :3

    rohit
  • rohitrohit Maharrashtra Veteran

    Thanks very much all for valuable help. It's very wise advice for me.

  • BuddhadragonBuddhadragon Ehipassiko & Carpe Diem Samsara Veteran

    The best way I have found not to create animosity around me with people who present the character traits which have been described above is never to volunteer my opinion without it being requested, and being extremely cautious if I actually choose to offer my take on the situation.

    I never assume I am above the person who asks for advice.
    I never assume I am privy to the only possible good answer to a dilemma.
    I never bother to rescue a person who has not asked to be rescued.

    Vastmindsilverlobsterrohit
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited July 2015

    A person might be depressed even if you try to fix it for them. Usually just listen and let them be as they are.

    And then other categories as @lobster mentions paranoi/delusion. I am schizophrenic and stable on meds. Maybe I can help more?

    rohit
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