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Comments

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2015

    I think the remark needs clarification.
    The interviewer, having called him out on it, should not have changed the subject but delved deeper into his remark.
    I am now wondering what his motivation was in having said that.
    I'm sure he HAD motive.....

    Buddhism as a whole is still relatively sexist anyway, as we're all aware.
    It's one of the pitfalls of having any religion "run" by men.

    Women may have prominence. But they don't have importance.

    lobsterRowan1980
  • Here's a description with a commentary:

    http://jezebel.com/dalai-lama-a-female-dalai-lama-must-be-attractive-oth-1732350732

    It's unclear how seriously he intends for this to be taken, and I can't find any clarification on the official website (yet).

    All the news sources seem to be requires from a BBC interview.

  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited September 2015

    He probably is. Comes from being brought up in feudal male dominated ignorance. O.o

    He is a manifestation of Avolishetevara Avolitikishsevara Chenresig ... ahem ... The Buddha of Compassion, not the Super Buddha in person. :o

    So he may have a few skeletons in his cupboard (Tantrikas have weird cupboards) O.o

    Just be kind to the Dalai. Not perfect but pretty good for an old fellah ... B)

  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran
    edited September 2015

    No, he's just acknowledging that ordinary society is foolish and would tend to not listen to someone who is ugly. It's not the Dalai Lama who is being sexist, it's society who is sexist. Being reborn pretty would be a skillful means to teach foolish people. Everyone would listen to someone who is pretty. Meanwhile, only some people would listen to someone who is not. And since a bodhisatta wishes to teach everyone, the reasonable choice would be to be pretty, so that they can.

    silverEvenThirdKundo
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2015

    Well I'm pretty, but some folks on here will never learn.....

    BunksKundo
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2015

    @seeker242 said: ..... Everyone would listen to someone who is pretty. Meanwhile, only some people would listen to someone who is not. And since a bodhisatta wishes to teach everyone, the reasonable choice would be to be pretty, so that they can.

    And by the way, that, if I may say so, is totally inaccurate as to be laughable.
    Look at Golda Meir.
    She was extremely successful. Not an oil painting.

    Look at Mother Teresa. If anyone needed copious use of moisturiser.... didn't affect her work though.

    Queen Victoria was by no means beautiful, but she hung around for over 60 years...
    And let's not forget Ryonen Genso...

  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran

    @federica said:
    And by the way, that, if I may say so, is totally inaccurate as to be laughable.

    I think you underestimate the foolishness of common people. It's well demonstrated by social scientists that pretty people get more respect in society than ugly people. Pretty people get better jobs, they get better pay, they get a lot of things better just by being pretty. It's an undisputed fact that this happens.

    silverSteve_B
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    It's possible that that is what he meant, @seeker242 but without every having been asked, we can't really assume so. Maybe he just wants to take rebirth as an attractive woman, lol.

    Also, considering the Dalai Lama is a Buddhist leader (not that Buddhist's do not note attraction, of course) it's not as if his successor is going to be speaking to the entirety of the world any more than the current one has. He's not exactly highly attractive and people listen to him because of the message he spreads. I personally find the Karmapa to be rather attractive, (lol, is that a sin? ;) ) but his manner of speaking doesn't resonate with me as much as other teachers and leaders. Even HHDL does not, I do not care for his style of writing. So while yes, studies have most certainly shown that people with good facial symmetry are recognized in many ways, we are talking about a fairly small group of people, not the entire western world. And our idea of attractiveness is not the same in the rest of the world.

    I find it mostly useless to take a handful of words and assign meaning to them without any follow up or without much context and the use of body language and tone. Don't read too much into stuff. It just makes life happier all around.

  • @federica said:
    Well I'm pretty, but some folks on here will never learn.....

    You are beautiful.

  • What is a sexist?

    Seriously.

    I believe that men and women are different but have equal value. I've been told that is a sexist comment. I'm not interested in debating that one - just using it to illustrate that there may be some differing definitions of the word that would make a discussion on the topic meaningless unless everyone agrees on what the definition is.

  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    @seeker242 said:

    I agree with both your posts...I think HHDL may not have realized that what he said in that regard would be sensational because it's always been a hot button topic. There will always be those who over-react when he's not got it in his mind that it could garner a strong negative reaction out there in media-land.

  • KarikoPuppiesKarikoPuppies Veteran
    edited September 2015

    I don't know much about Dali Lama, so I would not say anything about him but I've been told people are born ugly if they speak ill of other people in previous life, and born beautiful if you accumulated good karma .. hahaha. Buddhist should not be sexist, Shakyamuni buddha tried to teach us the equality btw men & women in chapter 12,(Lotus Sutra) there's a little dragon girl story. ( also he meant to tell us that we get to be born as male at one life and as a female in the others, vice versa, mix and match )

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @seeker242 said:

    I have been thinking about this a bit recently.

    I am quite happy to admit that when I see or meet a very attractive female I find it hard (unless I get to know them) to see past their looks. I don't assign much more value to them other than their physical attractiveness.

    However, if I meet a woman who I consider neutral or even fairly unattractive I am more likely to listen to them and see them as a person.

    So to flip the whole "beautiful woman get a better run in life" thing on its head, from personal experience I'd suggest physical attractiveness could be a hindrance rather than a help when it comes to being listened to or respected. Or maybe I'm just weird.......

    Can't speak for the other side of the equation though i.e. how women feel about attractive and unattractive men.

  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran

    @karasti said:
    It's possible that that is what he meant, seeker242 but without every having been asked, we can't really assume so.

    True, but we really can't assume he's just being sexist either. :)

  • @seeker242 said:
    True, but we really can't assume he's just being sexist either. :)

    We most certainly can! It's just not very skillful is all. ;)

    seeker242David
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran

    @Bunks said:

    This is why it's good we had intellectual discussions about AFL without you seeing my blinding beauty :p

    Bunks
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    People are like stained-glass windows; their beauty is only appreciated when times are dark, when the light shines from within....

    VastmindEarthninjakarasti
  • Thanks @yagr. People are karmically driven by their biology no doubt.

    People are attracted to glamour, glitter, excitement and the celebrity guru with the best head gear ...

    So when was the last time we heard of the legendary young enlightened tantric daka or dakini choosing the wisdom of age in their latest enlightened scandal. Independent of form or still chasing rainbow rabbits? :o

    I would suggest that the ability to discern the inner qualities, the beauty within is one of the spiritual attributes. First we have to develop a little peace and equanimity so as not to be bedazzled ... <3

    I guess we all suspected that ...

    yagrKundo
  • Through the years,we all have said something we would like to have been able to push the "Delete Button" on. Welcome to Valhalla folks!

    Men and women are of equal worth. We must value those who are different as much as we value those who are familiar or similar. It is a truism often forgotten or ignored by too many people.

    In my civilian work, I had men and women as bosses. Two of the best bosses I had were a man and a woman. The two "Bosses From Hell" were a man and a woman. The good ones valued their people and showed it. The bad ones treated their people like throwaways - they had little or no respect for the people under their supervision.

    In the military, some of our best Squadron Commanders were women. I served with men and women whom I would want to have on my left or right when the s*** hit the fan. I have also served with a small number men and women whom I could not trust in a real world situation.

    'Male', 'Female' or 'Other' were and are irrelevant terms in regard to trust and ability. while every person deserves respect as a person, some have earned more trust because of who they are** as individuals. **....

    I could go on all night, but morning comes all to early.

    Peace to all

    lobsterVastmindsilver
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    The Dalai Lama is a cool dude anyway. ;)

    Earthninja
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited September 2015

    Yeah, you can tell by his wardrobe..... It's just one fashion statement after another.....

    Earthninja
  • That is one thing about monks, nuns and such...no question as to what to wear. o:) Oh, and definitely not slaves to the latest fashion craze. <3

    Peace to all

    Earthninja
  • @karasti said:
    Do you (whoever) ever try to see people just as humans and remove their labels? It's interesting. The more I attempt to do that, the more I see how gender really doesn't apply.

    Yes. I have found that most people resent being looked at this way...or at least treated that way.

    Imagine going back to high school (especially for those of us for whom high school is a distant memory). Now imagine the year is 1955. As a young man, start treating the girls in your class as equals. I'm betting you will find yourself pretty lonely, pretty quick as you find yourself ostracized by both students and faculty.

    Nominating Mary Peterson for President of the student body? Better find a new school where no one knows you. Society in the fifties would frown heavily on a young man who let his wife or girlfriend change the oil in her own car... or let her drive to the malt shop while he graced the passenger seat. "Well honey, if you want some spending money, why don't you get a job?" would make you single mighty quick.

    Beyond gender, can you imagine a white fellow asking the black girl to the prom? One would quickly find themselves a social outcast from Caucasians and Blacks. Or a Native American?

    It's not the fifties any longer but society still pigeonholes people by their labels. Unfortunately, those labeled people put a great deal of stock in those pigeonholes. Gender, race, sexual orientation or any other label may not matter - but perception is reality. As long as society and the people in that society thinks it matters - it will.

    lobsterKundo
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    We have a local newspaper which is printed once a week, and has a column titled 'Sign of the Times; carrying previous articles from 100 years ago, 50 years ago, and 25 years ago.

    The '100 years ago' is focused on the war years in Great Britain, and the fight against the Hun, the War Effort at home and interesting local snippets.

    but the last '50 years ago' article was fun:

    "Our poor housewives were unable to tend to their usual Monday Wash, as there was a severe electrical power cut affecting the area. A local spokesman for The Electricity board explained that a goat had chewed through a major cable. She added that sadly, the goat did not survive. Worst affected by the power loss was Mrs. Enid Mildrew's Hair Salon. Several appointments had to be re-scheduled."

    Patronising referral to a woman's work is never done, the generic term for a spokesman, instead of the now politically-correct 'spokeswoman/spokesperson (It's a title, not a gender-sensitive description - like 'Chairman'... Women should be called 'Madam Chairman, not 'Chairwoman' or Chairperson'...!) and Enid Mildrew's hair salon obviously enduring the unkindest cut of all! The language and terminology are charming!

    yagrLionduck
  • @karasti said:
    When you truly look people in the eye, you can start to see who/what they really are. And all the labels, clothing, makeup, surgery, clothing, accents, personality and even gender...it all fades away and you are left with something else entirely.

    And can you separate that person from a cat walking on the yard? Or even from a stone on that same yard?

  • Heh. When it comes to women, I'm surprised if the Dalai Lama doesn't stutter and blush when the subject comes up. Hell, at least a Priest had a normal childhood before he took his vows and might have gotten to know a few on a personal level.

    The Dali Lama can certainly be considered an expert on the Dharma, at least the Dharma as taught by Tibetans. All the rest of the cultural baggage we accumulate through attitudes and beliefs of the people we grew up with, I suppose he has that too. Having been exposed to Western culture, unlike his predecessors, he's probably about the most liberal Dali Lama there ever was. Sexism? Probably. After all, he was raised in and lived his live in about the most sexist culture there is.

    Walker
  • KundoKundo Sydney, Australia Veteran

    Personally I think this is making a mountain out of a molehill. His Holiness is telling an uncomfortable truth. Women still are held to a level of attractiveness that men just aren't. Looks are still more important to most people when making a judgement call on both men AND women, but let's face it, women are still scrutinised more than men - and often the worst perpetrators are other women.

    Women's looks and attractiveness are used to sell everything from watches to cars. As progressive as society claims to be, we still judge women based on their looks. Of course an attractive female Dalai Lama would be more successful.

    Steve_Bsilveryagr
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    @Pöljä said: And can you separate that person from a cat walking on the yard? Or even from a stone on that same yard?

    Stones don't do their business in the yard, whereas cats do, and even people sometimes. ;)

    silver
  • dhammachick is exactly right. There's a difference between pontificating about how one thinks things should be and dispassionately observing how they are. In this instance the difference is between being sexist and observing that society is sexist.

    silverEuipoiKundo
  • EuipoiEuipoi Explorer
    edited September 2015

    "That female must be attractive, otherwise it is not much use," he told a startled BBC interviewer.

    In my opinion, i think he was referring to this because of our society. The way things are, especially if you're a woman, it seems no one cares unless you're attractive. Maybe this was his point. But I am not sure myself, no one is!

    Even till the day we die we all have lessons to learn, we are all still ignorant.

    silverKundo
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