About 2 weeks ago, while chanting Amida Buddha's name (in Vietnamese) while laying down I fell into a state of mind that is hard to describe but when I got out of it to get up to go pee, I realized that it was the best feeling that I have ever felt in my life. I asked my uncle what it was and he said it was the beginner's taste of bliss.
Have you felt this before? It was like boundaryless, no thoughts of self, ... if i had to compare i'd say it's better than orgasms.
Since then i hope to get back into that state of mind and possibly go even deeper but no luck so far..maybe the thought of me getting back into it is now a distraction that prevents me from getting back into it.
A little bit about me, my grandmother passed away more than 3 years ago, and since then i have started to chant Amida Buddha's name before falling asleep for about 15 minutes, sometimes 0.5 hour, sometimes 5 minutes. The reason i started chanting because my grandmother used to chant Amida Buddha's name and when she passed, we cremated her and her ashes turned out with many colors, and my uncle from the States were surprised because he's been to many of his friend's funerals and seen their ashes and they were all grayish or white..not multi colored... so I considered it like relics in Buddhism like how some monks leave behind after they're cremated. Because I saw the multi colored ash they were more like colored small gravel with my own eyes and picking the colorful ones out for my aunt to put on her alter.. i started believing stronger. So I would say i have been chanting for about 3.5 years of average 15minutes a day.
When I fell into that state of mind, while in it I didn't realize, but when i got out of it I knew i wanted to be in it. .. like as if a beggar has discovered a diamond...no one told me that i would fall into such state of mind before, or if they did they described it as peace which seemed normal to me ..this state of mind to me was shockingly pleasant like it's a big deal because it's better than anything i have ever felt in my life before. so just wondering if people have felt this before cause if they did, it's definitely worth pursuing.