Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Practicing wrathfulness
lobster
Veteran
in Philosophy
As a ferociously angry person I have decided to do a wrathful practice. I am on occasion so angry I kick the cat - and we don't even have a cat! In other words I get angry over nothing. 
Anger is one of the masks of fear, fear a mask of attachment and ignorance. In another thread we described ways of coping with anger: pixel bashing, boxing, sports, competitive insult hurling, politics, Trump baiting etc. However what is your way to resolving conflictive impediments? More metta? That would seem to be possible masking. 
Therapy? I am afraid I might bite the therapist and end up Dr Hannibal Lecter muzzled. 
Chemical therapy until moderation learned? 
2
Comments
I've been dealing with some underlying anger. I found this a useful guide recently (yay for Google). They advocate the following set of practices:
I really like the quote by Thich Nhat Hanh that they carry, where he said "When you express your anger you think that you are getting anger out of your system, but that's not true. When you express your anger, either verbally or with physical violence, you are feeding the seed of anger, and it becomes stronger in you."
Looking deeply can be a good antidote for anger. Looking at your own motivation is part of that, but looking at the suffering of others is another, and how it motivates what they do. I found my anger often dissipates when I really look deeply at the situation, and compassion and understanding takes its place. That is, when I can untangle my emotions, I'm not always successful in this.
I think practicing metta is also not a bad response, it may sound like masking but it is also striving for an emotional and energistic balance.
It never fails....
Thanks guys.
Well I accept that 'Ms Cushion' knows best. However I felt @Kerome post was for me particularly insightful.
Pillow punching martial artists are transformed by their practice, basically angry fighters are not as skilled. So that might be an option ...
We may need quick fix and long term strategy?
Here is somebody really annoying for you to practice patience on:
Oh, I can relate to getting mad over nothing, @lobster. But, I get mad over SOMEthing lots of times! I think early on, my best answer to my rage was a deeply sarcastic sense of humor. But of course, humor in general, is the real ace up my sleeve when it comes to 'getting over' the times when my otherwise dormant Mt. St. Helens comes roaring back to life.
And of course these days, the fact that I became interested in Buddhism and mindfulness has teamed up with my sense of humor and become a mighty force in bringing the emotions under (mostly) reasonable control.
(Nice cushion you got there, @Shoshin.
)
@lobster I know you are not very keen on TNH, but I would recommend "Reconciliation - Healing the inner child"
I'm trying to speak with more lightness and general kindness with my friends (not that I'm mean to my friends) so I don't set an angry precedent for when I'm in an anger-provoking situation.
I think TNH is an excellent purveyor of dharma, a stream entrant. He could even be enlightened by now. Many people transmit or are a conduit, for example the Sangha. Senior monks may know and teach without having reached the goal. Thanks for the recommendation.
The expression of anger in controlled exploration, for example in martial arts, gets us used to its nature, triggering mechanism, control and dissipation. The same with fear which is another conflict we confront in martial training ...
@Silver yes humour stops us getting or going mad.
I guess it would depend on the focus of the anger but I noticed this the other day with my daughter.
She keeps climbing on the coffee table and jumping off and I just know she's going to hurt herself. She kept doing it after telling her not to and I found myself getting angry. In that finding I realized the source of anger was fear for her safety and the anger went away.
It is a very nice cushion. My own newly bought meditation cushion pales into insignificance...
Oh dear, there I go again, comparing things. Must be more aware
I still don't have an actual cushion.
Anger comes in several flavors. There is the frustration with obstacles in our way, real or imagined, that trigger our anger. There is the rush of anger when you feel like you've been attacked or threatened. There is the anger when something or someone you care about is harmed or threatened. In all cases, anger is triggered when the thought "This should not be happening" enters our minds. In particular, the words "should" or "should not" mean we're dealing with what we want the world to be, not what it is.
Anger is controlled by your mind, not by outside forces. That's an important point to realize. Nobody "makes" you angry with their actions. You make yourself angry. A car cuts me off on the road and I'm startled and annoyed and then continue. Someone else becomes so angry they chase that person down and want to beat him up. The only difference is the mind involved.
I do believe that some people are born with a predisposition to anger. Others are taught to be angry as a response to the world as they grew. It makes anger one of the hardest emotions to control in our practice.
I'm not sure anger is always a bad thing. It floods the body with adrenaline and shuts down fear and hesitation, and sometimes that is needed for a last ditch fight for your life when the odds seem hopeless. If the lion does manage to eat me, I'm going down kicking and fighting. But how often does that really happen in today's world?
I am not sure I get angry much anymore. I get frustrated. I get impatient. I get upset. Not so much angry. I think because in the time over the years I pause to investigate my emotions and the situation around them, I have been almost always able to realize anger is always something else entirely. And once I recognize that, I can deal with its root rather than just stewing and steaming out of my ears. Prior, I use to feed my anger. I would be angry, and find things that complimented my anger. Violent games, violent movies, violent words. They were a way for my anger to be expressed without me doing the damage, I think. But in the end, nothing came of it.
It's just like any injury, and to me, anger is a sign of emotional injury. When you get physically hurt, you can do things to alleviate the symptoms. Take medication, rest, go to physical therapy. But treating the symptoms isn't going to fix the problem of how you got injured to start with. That requires a lot more investigative work to figure out so that you can then repair the damage that caused the injury. You may have sprained your ankle because your lower back is weak or you have misalignments in your legs. Anger is much the same. Perhaps you got really pissed off because of something that happened at work. So you go home and play violent video games to feel better. But are you dealing with the symptoms only, or are you getting to the root of why you got so angry? No matter what happened at work, it did not cause your anger. As someone else said, you caused your own anger. And now you are masking the root problem by managing only the symptoms. Therefore you are ensuring that when you are exposed to the same conditions again, the result will be the same. More anger, more violent games (or whatever you do as a way to relieve anger). Rinse. Repeat. No resolution.
I should point out, that's not my cushion. just an image from the net (those type of cushions cost a fortune... $70 upwards) however this is one of my cushions ( $2 from the op shop), it serves the same purpose, plus I like the flower pattern
Not many lions here, but plenty of manic seagulls trying to pinch chips.
For me it is. Great insight from @Cinorjer in his post ...
Remember wrathful is controlled and skilful emotion. Thanks for everyones input thus far.
I don't get angry much these days, but there seems to be one exception - I still allow an angry response to my own clumsiness in mishandling or knocking over inanimate objects. Knocked over a jar of kitchen utensils the other day while making coffee and spewed forth a brief, voluble burst of profanity before switching off the impulse. That's fairly easy - how long can you stay angry at a jar of spatulas and a puddle of coffee?
Nonetheless, I also see a tendency to replace anger with a sort of weary resignation while mopping up the mess - also not an ideal response. I'll have to work on this one of these days, but it is well down on the list.
A good swear can be quite therapeutic at times, I learned this practice on building sites.
Seems like a plan. I just unfriended everyone on FacelessBook who makes me angry. I am down to one person. It is me
Here is what I have learned about friendliness wrathful style:
happy to see at last, at least one could got the person by his neck (i is just ta perception from within)
shake him and drop him (be mindful (sathi) and have clear-comprehension (sampajanna))
he never dare to come back (already let it go)
once one sees everyone on FacelessBook is the same, there will be no problems anymore
Congratulations!!!
I did good? [lobster prepares to leave naughty corner]
Well FacelessBook definitely promotes the view that there is a self, and that part of this self is socially defined, which is rather dubious in Buddhist terms... I certainly think you did well freeing yourself from the mire of others opinions, @lobster... Not everyone takes such drastic and impressively wrathful action!
Iz Dudeist plan! Careful you don't become "Ultra-spiritual" though.
Farcebook is the spawn of the ego-devil.
Today I was given road signal instructions on a busy train crossing. I was on a bike and they were travelling too fast and I came out of a little used turn. They were clearly in a rush to get to the traffic jam ahead.
Luckily using my new wrathful taming skills I was able to thank them for the advice. I am so almost Buddhist.
Jolly good! Raising a thumb instead of a finger!
Hard ain't it? Hands and clenched fists up if you thought Buddhism was for wimps? I hope @IchLiebte won't mind me mentioning how hard his efforts have been. Teeth gritting, tongue biting, fuming etc ...
Familiar? It is for me, this morning I became furious over someone helping me, I am just rubbish Buddhist.
Actually I may have found the cause. It is everyone else's fault! They make me angry! ... mmm ... not convincing anyone am I ...
On a serious note, do you know where this anger comes from? Has it always been there?
It is a legacy from my father who used 'will' and emotional suppression to overcome depression and other mental health issues. This resulted in a very warped way of dealing with healthy emotional development in us kids ...
Have you tried counselling? I used to suffer from depression ( long story ), and was told that anger was a symptom of depression ( or it might have been the other way round? ).
I attended encounter groups many moons ago and punched cushions, that seemed to help, certainly better than the alternatives. The key seemed to be finding a focus for the rage, working out who you were really angry with/at. But, like Buddhist practice, it has to be real, not just an intellectual exercise.
"His"
Looks down at my boobs -- angry boobs
The next time I do metta meditation, I can try to extend metta towards my enemies that have not yet come to be, my angry future self for one. This might work. I will try this out and let you know.
Some people don't have to practice...they're naturals
Wrathful Tantric practices can be powerfully, emotionally liberating.
For each person the usage and response is quite different. For example this is my page on the semi wrathful Guru Rinpoche practice
http://web.archive.org/20020307202045/pages.britishlibrary.net/lobster/buddha/rinpoche.htm
I learned the long mantra sequence and visualisation depicted. I find the mantra is a good way of training the breath towards a single mantra on one out breath.
Here is someone's journey from boxer to Zen monk
http://opcoa.st/0R6Bx
I think there is hope
lovely article, @lobster
Understood.
Very important to acknowledge our triggers. Caffeine, though I like it, is not helpful. In the kitchen I tend to cook far too fast.
Coming back to the breath in every day life ... This morning rather than my usual meditation I was using a variety of mantra. Part of the 'side effect' of mantra is a form of pranayama, breath lengthening, which is healing and calming.
Anger is not an enemy, it is a means BUT that means we must make friends with wrathful parts of our being ...
... how unnoticed or subtle the anger or fear demons can be.
http://opcoa.st/0RDC8
That link is extremely interesting and informative. I like its simple style. Befits my level of mentality superbly.
I am glad ^^.
Wrathful practices are seen as weird or inappropriate by some Buddhists. Maybe. Maybe not.
Once we understand the principles, we can get an invitation/initiation/guidance through email and youtube. By overcoming our own fear of weird but perhaps transformative practices we connect with an appealing Sadhana and go for it... Ideally we get empowerment from a Lama. However who lives in an ideal Pureland?
Personally I am finding the Vajrayogini practice extraordinary. For a Zennith, secularist or Theravadin, it is important to stress the nature of a Yidam as ones inner capacities.
I have not found anyone to counsell. They all seem to want to repair me.
... meanwhile my wrathful practice is going well. Dr Vajrayogini is a fully unqualified head case.
In honour of her efforts I have moved to an open eye meditation after some time of closed meditation.
Anger as we should all know is not the same as 'wrathful' in the skilful Buddhist sense. We are, speaking for myself, emotional beings. Most of us. Wrathful practice is designed to transform those painful emotions into victory, joy, compassion, kindness to fish [lobster goes too far] and so on.
I haz plan. I haz practice. Onward.