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Funny Stuff

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Comments

  • Would of had something funny, but Trump took all the air out of my balloon. Said he needed it for another of his wonder drugs.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    (would have...) 🤭

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @lobster said:
    Dad Jokes:

    "Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I can’t be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because I’m not dead yet!'”

    "A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'"

    "Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"

    I like your Dad ;)

    lobster
  • DavidDavid A human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First Nations Veteran
    edited October 2020

    Oh sorry. There was a fairly tasteless joke in there.

    Now I have 4 hours to find something better.

    Ok, here's a little Mitch.

  • KeromeKerome Certainty is the enemy of wonder The Continent Veteran

    Walkerlobsterperson
  • VastmindShoshin1Walkerコチシカ
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    You couldn't have told that joke a few years ago... funny how times change with the things...

  • I thought this headline was funny!

    "Officials say there have been zero reports of bear encounters since they installed the terrifying wolf robots."

    https://tinyurl.com/y25awysa

    Shoshin1VastmindKerome
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    JeffreylobsterLionduckShoshin1
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    ^^ you will never find better experts than those who pontificate on Facebook. They might never have studied it at university, they might never have been employed as a {Insert profession here} and they might never have had any 1st person encounter with the subject matter, but trust me, they know everything there is to know about it, don't you Karen?

    Lionducklobster
  • There was a time when I knew all the answers.
    If there were any answers I did not know, I knew exactly where to get them,
    I was lord supreme over my domain.

    All that came crashing down two seconds after I entered kindergarten.

    Every moment is priceless
    Every friend a treasure
    Every breath a gift.
    Be kind and celebrate each life - including your own

    Funny things come out of crackerjacks boxes....

    Bunkslobsterコチシカ
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    lobsterhowShoshin1Bunks
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran




  • personJeffreyコチシカ
  • JeffreylobsterKeromeBunks
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran

    Shoshin1KeromelobsterBunks
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    News has been coming out of Mexico that after the events of January 6th here in the US, they are now willing to pay for a wall... Canada wants one too.

    Shoshin1Keromelobster
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    Shoshin1KeromelobsterBunks
  • This guy really made me laugh. Only towards the end did I realise this was his job.

    Shoshin1
  • lobsterVastmindhow
  • KeromeKerome Certainty is the enemy of wonder The Continent Veteran

    One morning mad Melvin, loony Larry and crazy Carl decided to escape the Sunnyvale insane asylum. Happy as larks, the three head off into town and come upon the construction site of a huge skyscraper. They look around curiously when a man wearing a hard hat walks up to them. Hey you guys, says Klopsky, the job foreman, get back to work! Finish digging that trench. The three loonies smile and nod in unison, turn around and start working on the trench. A couple of hours later Klopsky comes back and is shocked to discover Mad Melvin digging furiously while the other two stand around holding their shovels in the air. What the hell are you doing, screams Klopsky at Loony Larry and Crazy Carl. We are streetlights, replies Loony Larry. Nuts, shouts Klopsky, you are fired, he says to the two. No, not you, he says to Melvin, you are digging well. Continue on. What, in such darkness? Says Melvin.

    JeffreyShoshin1Bunkslobster
  • Bunks
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited January 24

    Mrs Pousfired.

  • Rob_VRob_V North Carolina Explorer

    The M25 sounds an awful lot like Anthony Henday Drive. What is it with orbitals/beltways/ring roads?

    They're safer and faster than intersections, and they don't interrupt the flow of traffic.

  • My mother who has Alzheimer's moving into dementia, today exercised doing qiong. She thought she had finished after three out breaths, the first 30 seconds ... :)

    Eventually after much coaxing she managed about 7 minutes - totally exhausted her. :anguished:

    To show what a really exhausting routine was actually like put the below video on ...
    To my utter amazement she immediately revived, got up and managed to do 2 minutes. I could not stop laughing.

    Maybe she thought he was the prize if she finished the routine ... ? :mrgreen:

    VastmindKeromeShoshin1
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @yagr - was that a serious story? Haha! Crazy stuff...

    yagr
  • @yagr wow nice assessing the situation and not over reacting angrily or the like

    BunksyagrShoshin1lobster
  • I've been chuckling most of the day thinking of the whole exchange and thought to pass it on.

    I am shielding one person who is moving into dementia.
    Thanks for looking after that woman and providing her with your gardening services ... <3

    I was worried about you and thought you might have died. Good to hear your adventures ...

    yagr
  • KeromeKerome Certainty is the enemy of wonder The Continent Veteran

    That’s a very funny story @yagr I also live with aging relatives and provide them with my assistance from time to time, we all do the best we can to help eachother.

    yagr
  • howBunksコチシカ
  • yagryagr Veteran

    @lobster said:

    I was worried about you and thought you might have died. Good to hear your adventures ...

    ~scratches head pensively~

    If I had died, that would have been an opportune time to stop worrying about me. :) Nevertheless, your sentiment brought a smile to my face, improved my already pretty darn good mood, and likely changed the way I interacted with people in my path in a positive way. Who knew that concern for others was a superpower? Sending love.

    Shoshin1lobsterBunks
  • In what pond does Seniors start with G?

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @Steve_B said:
    In what pond does Seniors start with G?

    Here... Grandad, Grandma...

    Shoshin1yagr
  • Bunks
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Actually, popping to the local shop for some necessary provisions 4 of our immediate neighbours were gathered together (S.D'ing appropriately) just chatting through their masks and passing the time of day.. it was nice to see. . They were still there upon my return, a quarter of an hour or so, later...
    😊

    Bunks
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