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Re establishing a practice, lost one and need a creditable teacher need help locally

I had a practice a layship until HH Dalai Lama condemned aci Buddhism under micheal roach. I left now i feel no connection to dharma and need to reach out. I am tibetan buddhist. Am i a untouchable now. Every time i mention my past local and online teachers want nothing from me. I join online but all them want a donation or pay for classes. Isn’t that against dharma against buddhas teachings.

I do not like aci Buddhism because i differ on beliefs because i believe in HH dalia lama view, but i hold their teachers and group with compassion but i am not a idiot.

My psych team told me to reach out to the religious community. Morgantown wv buddhist groups are a joke , their small beginner book study groups. I want a layship a practice a true connection . How do i connect when the locals see me as untouchable. I go to Pittsburgh ect but i am low income and have circumstances and theirs COVID.

Also due to my lucid dream ability a dream and waking experience i had , i know my pet dog is a student and teacher of mine from past lives, and according to aci buddhist teacher he’s a buddha enamination and here for a depressed person. I promised this teacher this dog i would be something in tibetan Buddhism. I wanna study. If it wasnt for my disablity, low income an circumstances i would try places were i could. Become ordained monstatic person. I. Just dont know what to do. I need religious connection. I need spiritual friends outside of Internet forums and online groups. I am not going back to aci due to conflicting beliefs. I wish them well it wasnt for me, i dont wanna switch religions and find a church i am buddhist, i am tibetan buddhist. The local tibetan group I believe is defunct and anyways is one those joke groups not teaching much of dharma just books to sell. Monstaries to sell.

Any help on this. I dont mind online if it was legit in tibetan Buddhism and free no donations but at this time i cant find that online . I need help i. Am asking for help.


  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited May 4

    What is aci stand for if I may ask? Sounds like there isn't a local TB sangha you're comfortable with. You might like the Vipassana tradition even though they are Theravada because if you are part of a sangha at a distance you do not meet many people but since Vipassana is focused on meditation as the focus of the group that means that you can also do the meditation. And the meditation of Vipassana is actually the foundation of Mahayana or Vajrayana in a way I think, because you discover the nature of mind in insight (noticing mindful) meditation. Never mind that it is 8 fold path versus 6 paramitas or what have you. Mindfulness in Plain English is a good text written in the 90s associated with this group. I've also found online TB sanghas but they usually appreciate a monthly donation if you join them but sometimes I think they can adjust things depending on financial circumstance. What are the main things you would like to get out of belonging to a sangha as opposed to practicing by yourself or with a group who is more like a 'book club' as you say?

  • paskapaska Explorer


    I am a transsexual person i live in my chosen gender i am post op and a person who fails for the person personality not the gender ie pan sexual. I am uneasy in Theravada as in the Bhavana society is near me.

    Actually i am influenced by many different sects of mayahana Buddhism. From zen to nicheran. I dont know what to do . I prefer to stay in tibetan but open to other traditions .

    But again the local zen center teacher would see me as untouchable because of Asian classics institute ie aci.

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran

    Hi I don't know much about Theravada and never have heard of Bhavana society. I just liked that book I mentioned and I really like: Tara Brach I would be surprised if she was averse to trans, but like I say I don't know how in general people regard trans gendered. Probably Buddhist groups more accepting fortunately than some other religions and it probably varies a lot region to region how much acceptance and how hard it is to find a person or group that has that acceptance.

    I haven't heard of the Asian classics institute but I would hope that even if there was a kind of scandal there that they shouldn't blame all the students for things they had no control of in the group. But again I don't know the story of that group.

    I have a dog too and used to have lucid dreams maybe 15 years ago. I like the idea that my dog is a manifestations of a Buddha's compassion! Ours sure is a fun affectionate guy.

  • JeroenJeroen Do it with a smile Netherlands Veteran
    edited May 5

    It can be difficult sometimes finding a group that suits you, I hope you find a spot online or offline that you feel easy communicating with soon. With covid it’s probably easier to limit yourself to finding something online until you have been vaccinated.

    I also haven’t heard of the Asian Classics Institute. If it turns out to be controversial, why not just drop mentioning it? Is it such a large part of your background that you feel you have to mention it?

  • paskapaska Explorer

    I spent ten yrs in Asian classic under geshe micheal roach. I was studying the geshe program for laypeople meant for monastic people.

    Yes I wish I could not mention it. It’s scandal of a past retreat gone wrong ie a teacher killing her student in a psychosis rage blaming it on practice. Luckily m study group was online. Geshe micheal slept with said female teacher the student her husband. Geshe micheal refused layship . And all his teachings are now in question because all this. I left because my practice was going no where.

    I am supposed to be a tulku my teacher refused to recognize me as this was because of that dream with Buddha dog. I want my throne in tibetan Buddhism. Sadly it will never happen. It’s just a delusion of a mentally ill person me.

    So as you can see I can’t stop saying I am a ex aci practioner.

    Guys give me a group that’s free online please

  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    Treeleaf is a free online zendo. Untouchables, practitioners and ex-cultists welcome. They have a good forum and many online sessions

  • JeroenJeroen Do it with a smile Netherlands Veteran
    edited May 5

    Hmmm, I feel for you, it sounds like you are in a tangle. However it is all in the mind. You know the saying that it is clinging to things that causes us to suffer? It might be good to meditate on this and your goals of wanting various things within Buddhism. Just a friendly suggestion ;)

    It’s understood that you wouldn’t want to just bypass 10 years history in Buddhism, it would feel too much like you were deliberately hiding something big, a secret. Not something I would be comfortable with either.

    But I must admit, I would have doubts over any teacher who would refuse to take on a disciple from another tradition just because of a scandal involving that traditions teachers. I would expect an interview in which these things were examined, and if it became clear that you intended to make a new start, then that would be taken into account. There might be other reasons for a teacher not to take on a student, but I would not expect a former teachers scandal to be decisive.

    I think your promise to your dog to ‘be something within Tibetan Buddhism’ is well-meant, a sign of a good heart, but I think it would make many people ask curious questions. And the end-results are rather subject to the winds of fate.

    It was Ajahn Chah I think who said life is letting go, more letting go and yet more letting go. Sometimes life sends us these things.

  • paskapaska Explorer

    Thank you . I sent a letter to treeleaf zendo online on my back ground to register. Maybe I need a change of dharma type

  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    @paska said:
    Thank you . I sent a letter to treeleaf zendo online on my back ground to register. Maybe I need a change of dharma type

    Well done you B)

    … Maybe …

    This is a tantric site that my help you heal and find what you need

    You are probably familiar with Medicine Buddha mantra that will focus the healing

    Be Well

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