So I was told to take partial vows to prepare for full lay vows for intermediate program called basic program. That means killing bugs at work needs to stop regardless of what my boss says as my job is kill them. I can’t stop my job either because of circumstances. I was told to dive deep into the studies if I wanna become a nun or a real acceptable laynun. And to to trust those in my sect sangha to trust my medical team my family who means well and society who is questionable but means well. To find the right meds and to take meds right. To do my therapy fully as I have been struggling. And that does not guarantee fully a nunship but it proves to my sangha I am trying and deserve being a nun. I was told to foscus on my sects beginner course the new tibetan buddhist sect. As I am not ready for discussion of the basic course. That means my actions my mouth need muzzled. I will do it. But be for warned that doesn’t mean I won’t tit for tat defend myself . Again let this be a new beginning.