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a sad predicament..
A choice needs to be made about possibly having to put my cat to sleep.
He has lived a looong good life, 16 years, but has grown increasingly mean and miserable. For example, I avoid the vet at all costs because of his growling and extreme mean-ness
To make a long story short, they need to sedate him to even examine him. He sat with me on the table yesterday absoultely fine. The doc came in and he began his deep, gutteral growls...its very scary. Well he bit me quite deeply and today my hand is so swollen its awful! He really did a number on me. He bit the doc too, so now they have to file with the health department...Blood work has also revealed that he is having some type of early stage kidney failure, but can be managed with prescription diet...a very expensive diet.
People, I am so torn. Day to day he dislikes everyone except for me, my kids are afraid of him, and he terrorizes my guests. I guess I trust him even less now...I am afraid of him.
So what I'm saying is, he is too old to try and adopt out and frankly he is not into people or other pets. I wish I could do something about this. My heart is breaking over here. I see the sweet side of him. The old cat who has been with me my whole adult life. He is just so mean to everyone.
Help!! Please offer some advice. I'm such an animal lover, this is really upsetting me. From a buddhist/spiritual perspective, what is the right thing to do here?
A
He has lived a looong good life, 16 years, but has grown increasingly mean and miserable. For example, I avoid the vet at all costs because of his growling and extreme mean-ness
To make a long story short, they need to sedate him to even examine him. He sat with me on the table yesterday absoultely fine. The doc came in and he began his deep, gutteral growls...its very scary. Well he bit me quite deeply and today my hand is so swollen its awful! He really did a number on me. He bit the doc too, so now they have to file with the health department...Blood work has also revealed that he is having some type of early stage kidney failure, but can be managed with prescription diet...a very expensive diet.People, I am so torn. Day to day he dislikes everyone except for me, my kids are afraid of him, and he terrorizes my guests. I guess I trust him even less now...I am afraid of him.
So what I'm saying is, he is too old to try and adopt out and frankly he is not into people or other pets. I wish I could do something about this. My heart is breaking over here. I see the sweet side of him. The old cat who has been with me my whole adult life. He is just so mean to everyone.
Help!! Please offer some advice. I'm such an animal lover, this is really upsetting me. From a buddhist/spiritual perspective, what is the right thing to do here?
A
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Comments
If you keep the cat I advise you to give the cat his space because obviously he doesn't want to be around too many people. Give him food and water. If he seems to seek to be near you then some affection?? I would probably choose that option. I might even stop taking to the vet until he seemed sick/old enough that he was miserable. Then put to sleep. And cry.
Cat bites are almost always causing an infection. Go to get a antibiotic somewhere.
I'd have the cat put to sleep.
This is where - In my opinion - we have to consider the good of the many, against the good of the one.
It's not a skilful thing to kill - or euthanise - anything.
But you have to look at the Intention.
Is it to make you feel better, or to relieve his suffering?
To my mind, he does not seem to have an overal pleasurable or positive quality of life.
I would suggest you also discuss this with your vet.
be free with your thoughts, and seek his professional opinion.
On a more personal note, if you have an infection in your hand, this cat is housing some seriously dreadful bacteria in his mouth.
Are any of his teeth rotten?
if he bites a child, are you prepared to accept this child suffering a similar bacterial infection?
There's more to this that your conscience and this cat.
There are other matters to consider.
the primary one being that things are not going to improve.
Quite the opposite.
Be well.
With Metta,
Fede
I was so hoping someone would respond...
That is actually what is tugging at me, trying to pry apart if my motives are selfish vs what is best for him AND the humans in my life. He almost bit my five year old niece a few months back...that would have been a nightmare.
I'm on an antibiotic, but the redness is now spreading up my arm, almost to my elbow. Gonna call the doc tomorrow. He has no broken teeth but cats do have a nasty bacteria, and the doc was interchanging the words bacteria and poison. Freaking ouch! Really!
His quality of life is miserable as far as interacting with people and enjoying anything. He's old now, does not play anymore and sleeps literally about 22 hours a day. We have to put him in the bedroom, which is often, because I'm afraid he'll bite my kids friends. OMG he is miserable.
Poor old buddy. I will continue to think on it, I guess I know in my heart what it is I want to do though. Ugh what a sad situation.
thanks people!
A
Regarding your painful choice, I hear you! I'm struggling with my attachment to my cats and I've been particularly occupied with the issue for the last little while. I wish I had some kind of answer for you, something simple that would make you go, "Oh! That's a great idea! Why didn't I think of that?" I'm so sorry that I don't.
I did think of one thing when I was reading your post but you've probably already considered it. Perhaps he's in pain that could be managed with medications. I know giving even a calm cat a pill is often a suicide mission but perhaps you could crush it into a powder and mix it into some soft food for him (I use a mortar and pestle to crush my cats vitamins). Maybe the pain is in his mouth...Maybe you could dissolve the pain meds in his water. If he has an active infection somewhere in his mouth it may be very painful, especially if it's a tooth, but it may be treatable with antibiotics.
Also, when taking him to the vet you could use a cat muzzle so the vet would be able to administer the tranquilizer.
That's all I've got for now. If I have any other ideas I'll let you know.
By the way, is he an indoor cat? Can the kids avoid him?
The kids do avoid him and he does sleep most of the time so thats good. He is an indoor cat. He wont "allow" anyone but me or my husband to sit on "his" side of the couch, he'll bat and hiss at people other than the two of us! I wonder, is it mean to give him the basement? Would that be good you think or would he feel lonely? I really dont know.
The muzzle is a great idea!! Thanks, I will try that. He needs his rabies next week...I swear they are out to rip people off. He is a housecat and literally goes nowhere. As for pain, she didnt mention that he was in any pain, tho I heard him howl in the litterbox once a few years back
Good luck to you Brigid with your cats. We love them so much huh? He really is my baby, tho I'm not the type to spend tons of money on a pet..I'm just not. I have kids to feed, lol.
Ahhh life.
A
The humans will just have to follow some rules is all!
Thanks again for helping me sort this out.
A
It's so hard to know when they're in pain, isn't it? I mentioned that to my vet a couple of years ago and she explained that it was probably because in the wild an illness or wound can be a great liability so they hide it. Makes sense to me. Makes it difficult though.
Speaking of which, I have a little story about my black and gray tabby called Torcal. He has chronic 'tap' trouble (can't pee because his bladder gets filled with sand for some reason I can't remember at the moment and his pee gets bloody) and as it progresses without treatment it gets extremely painful for him. The vet has to squeeze his wee bladder over and over like mad to empty it. If we catch it early enough and get him to the vet it's much easier, and less painful, to treat. So when he got back from the vet the second time I actually talked to him and told him, "Torcal, if you ever feel sick again you must tell mummy as soon as possible, okay? Show mummy and we'll bring you to the nice lady doctor and make you feel all better. Okay? Will you do that? Tell mummy when you feel sick? When you don't feel well in the tummy?" I was only doing it on the off-chance that he was actually an alien who understands human english but chose a cat body for his own reasons.
Kidding.
About the alien thing, not talking to Torcal.
And unbelievably, about 6 months later I was in the bathroom and Torcal followed me in, looked up at me and mewed, squatted and tried to pee. He struggled and after only a few drops came out he looked up at me again. I'm not kidding and I'm not embellishing at all. Really. That's exactly what happened. So we took him to the vet right away and got him sorted out. The next time it happened he got up on my bed, mewed and squatted, and that elicited a very quick response from mummy!
I love cats so deeply and I know I can get too attached to them. But in my book, kids come first. Even though I dislike children immensely, they have to come first. Without children, who would grow up and adopt all the unwanted cats at the shelters? (Yes, I'm kidding...:D)
I'm so happy you have resolution. Just making a choice one way or the other is so often all it takes to relieve us of all the anxiety, even if the choice is a difficult one. I'm so happy for all of you. And it just occurred to me...what a very cool thing to model for your children. Real compassion in action.
I also have to say that I love the way you worded this post. It really affected me (no surprise) and I totally know what you mean about the eyes. I swear that I can see certain emotions or responses really clearly in Torcal and Tom's (our orange tabby's) eyes. One of the looks they give me I call 'soft eyes' and that's when they're responding to my lovely-cuddle talk. You know....'Oh how mummy loves you, Torcal. You're mummy's baby. You're mummy's sweet, wee baby boy and what a good, good boy...you...are." That sort of (really embarrassing) thing (that I can't believe I'm sharing with the world on the internet). And he'll look at me and his eyes will 'soften', sort of close slightly, you know? Wow. Trying to describe the 'soft' look is impossible. I hope you know what I mean because I can't explain it in words. But it's exquisitely beautiful.
Thanks for the good wishes, acceptance. I appreciate it and I'm sending you, your family, and your very lucky old cat, all my wishes for great peace and joy today and every day.
I also believe that it is part Pavlov, and part "knowing". Another story that relates to the "knowing".. I once saw my Georgie look up at me with "appreciative" eyes as he drank the bottled water I had just poured for him. Seriously! Like "Hey this is different, thanks mom". LOL. Then again, I can't remember if I was standing there watching him with anticipation or not. He might have really been thinking "Ummm, yes?? Oh gosh, it's too early to think so hard
..and as for the alien "joke"...I'll go ahead and say maybe so! I believe there are many places to incarnate, the universe is huge, maybe there are alien souls and incarnations on other planets? I'll just stick it into the "maybe" file in my brain. It's the largest, most jam packed one, what's one more idea?!! I'll have to ask my mom, but I bet my first word was "maybe".
Ok I'm totally rambling and feeling this great love-of-cats connection with you right now. Can you feel the love people, lol?
I hope your cats continue to be healthy and happy, and thanks for the well wishes! Same to you!
Cats rule, dogs drool...
A
I could swear I've seen my cats look at me with appreciation too. Well, not swear, but it sure looks like it. You never know...
I have a 'Maybe' file too! Lots of stuff in there. Probably a lot of the same stuff as you.
MOREOVER, and I know what I am talking about (I've had a cat that alienated others expect our direct family; some cat-races are known for this even), I think he's just gotten grumpy but is as loyal as ever to you, and clearly you care about him. Cat diets R also dime-a-dozen, sure it's a bit more pay, but it's doable.
What is really IMPORTANT is that often people make the mistake of keeping their cat/dog alive, because they cannot let go, whilst the animal really suffers. So you just gotta make sure your cat is not suffering, but even with ailments he could still live a few more years, and I am pretty sure if your kids don't mind him, he will leave them alone.
I know I take a firm stand on matters like this, but I hope this helps, you obviously care for your cat, otherwise you would not be torn about this.
All the best !!
P.S. Basement sounds good to me, and no RENT either
Love & Peace
Joe
GREAT POINT on equal rights btw, I wish more people regarded animals this way! Also it's not really Buddhist (in my very humble and rookie Buddhist opinion) to get to "rule" on the life of another sentient being. Sure this situation is uncomfortable, but it is still workable.
Lastly: obviously I will run the extra mile for animals, because I know from experience that sometimes they are treated more as objects than the "alive & emotions capable" animals that they are, something we should never forget.
I know everyone means well here & and so do I
Anyway, I don't like farming them either... when I'm older I probobly just want a dog or two from a shelter. They (along with cats) are one of the most loving-to-human creatures
And yes, everybody does mean well here. We have no right to kill an animal unless it's under great suffering. We don't have any right to chop down it's home to build ours and make paper which a toddler might scribble a cute little animal (they inadvertently just killed). It's very sad....
Love & Peace
Joe
Palzang
It's very tricky, but if it is really obvious and medically diagnosed by a real vet then sometimes this is better for the animal, in my humble (yet direct) opinion.
Not all people may realise this, but animals usually will try to "keep face" withdraw, all just because of their great loyalty, and I would be torn to put an animal through it any longer than necessary, "if" I really know it's end is very near. Never easy, but an animal is a sick as you describe it, then it can be the best solution.
All the best to all animals
Palzang
Sorry, but couldn't this make him feel a bit better?
Edit: Ahh you can let us know then!
We go back on Monday and will be discussing this special diet. Sheesh, you never think of these things when you're 18 years old and holding that baby kitten in your arms. The years have flown, he's an old buddy now.
I would.
Palzang
As for euthanasia - it was part of my job that I hated the most. And yet, sometimes it seemed the kindest thing to do. Never easy though. I have, fortunately, not yet been faced with that decision in my own life with my own pets. My beloved dog Daisee died very suddenly about five years ago. Her 'sister' Pancho is now 14 years old (a large dog, and that's very old for a large dog). I have already begun to agonize over when or if I will have to make the decision to end her suffering if and when it becomes that bad. Right now she's relatively healthy, but has laryngeal paralysis which makes her cough and gag constantly. But she still eats, sleeps, poops, and generally does what old dogs do, and seems, all things considered, fairly happy. I try to just take it one day at a time with her and hope that she and the universe will take care of things themselves. My prayer is that I come home to find her peacefully dead on her big soft bed some day after work.
Mtns
And Palzanorang! I'll never grow up! In body and inteligence, maybe, but in strength and personality, never! :screwy: :crazy:
That's what they all say!
Palzang
This is a photograph of me^^^^^^
That's my face ^^^^^^
Is that what you thought I looked like? Because that's me, proof I'll never grow up:p
Is that really you, the baby? Looks like you just got a lemon drop! Cute...
Palzang
Love & Peace
Joe
Palzang
Palzang
Can you tell us what Cat Scratch Fever really is? I'd love to know. I thought it was from cat bites so knowing what it really is would be good. lol!
If that darling baby isn't you who is it? Is it just some pic you got off the internet or is it someone you know? Because that baby is adorable!
You're right, CI. Just look at "Dutch treat". That means you get to pay your own way! :grumble:
Palzang
Palzang, I know it said Neverlands. In an episode of Friends Joey fancies this Dutch woman and Chantler says you don't even know where the Dutch come from. So infront of the Dutch woman Chantler says The Netherlands. Joey says oh haha very funny, that's where Peter Pan comes from.
CI, you can trust sixty-three sixty-fourths of me
Love & Peace
Jellybean
MWA HAHA MWA HAHA!!!!