Cuddling as a Meditation

GregM08

My fiance hasn't taken well to the idea of me meditating before I go to sleep, mainly because it takes time away from cuddling. My gut tells me that there's a way of turning cuddling into an as meaningful practice as solo meditation. Anyone have thoughts about this?

taiyaki

cuddle 100% without thinking.

there you go.

compassionate_warrior

Greg, the day has 24 hours in it. Choose when you want your 20 mins, of meditation, and when to fit in the cuddling. You can meditate when you get home for work, so much better than the traditional "cocktail hour" to unwind. You can fit it in after dinner. Anytime. Why is just before sleep the only time you can find? Is there another issue here, maybe avoiding intimacy with your girlfriend?

Nirvana

Don't know what cuddling is, but I never saw anything written against it.

Wouldn't call it meditating though. But that's beside the point. Just be there.

skullchin

Cuddle at night, meditate in the morning

Yacababy

Me and my boyfriend used to cuddle a lot. It was relaxing when we had bad days or stomach aches. If I need to meditate though I just designate a time of day and let him/her know ahead of time. You could always have cuddle moments during the day. Sometimes my guy let's me know he needs some snuggles so we turn off the tv or whatever is distracting us and lay down for 15 minutes. Do what you need to meditate but allow your fiancé the option of voicing their need for cuddles.... This all sounds so silly but it's quite serious.. :skeptic: ..... Ok not THAT serious it IS cuddling after all. I wish you the best
Jen

SherabDorje

Find a different time to meditate.

And cuddle mindfully. Read some Thich Nhat Hanh about communicating in loving relationships and... cuddle mindfully.

Dakini

cuddle mindfully.

I agree with this, and with this:

You could always have cuddle moments during the day. Sometimes my guy let's me know he needs some snuggles so we turn off the tv or whatever is distracting us and lay down for 15 minutes.

Cuddling can and should happen anytime. Meditation can also be scheduled anytime. What you need for meditation is a routine, so it won't get pushed aside during the day. Random acts of cuddling can be spontaneous.

I can't help but wonder what else is taking up your time, Greg, that makes it difficult to fit in the important things? Are you watching TV or playing video games? I try to be mindful about how I spend my time, which is why I got rid of my TV. The problem is now, I'm spending too much time on this forum, haha! But I bet that if you look at how you spend your time throughout the day, you'd find activities that you could cut out or cut back on, and substitute meditation, and still have plenty of time for cuddling.

hermitwin

Here we go again.
How about My gut tells me that there's a way of turning having sex into an as meaningful practice as solo meditation.
You cant have your cake n eat it.

blueberriesplease

After reading TNH explain meditating while doing the dishes, maybe we can meditate while cuddling also. Maybe its just another form of meditation. Have a lil cuddle meditation, then have a lil one-on-one with yourself meditation. I dont think theres anything wrong with having creative meditating styles as long as the core practices and mindfullness are taking place

an analogy of this may help better: When we poop, is our poop always the same when it comes out? sometimes. But sometimes its different. What matters is if it comes out in a nice way and relieves us. In the same way, if our meditation comes out in a nice way and relieves us, and progresses us, then good, even if it turns out to be in all different colors shapes or sizes. If we poop or meditate one way always, that is ok, as long as it is according to relieving and creating progress.

Good Luck

Iawa

I believe that cuddling can have mindful qualities, but it could be diversion as well. Any activity can be done mindfully. Keep check on the motivations. If cuddling mindfully is suggested a means of attention seeking I don't see it as being beneficial.

federica

Here we go again.
How about My gut tells me that there's a way of turning having sex into an as meaningful practice as solo meditation.
You cant have your cake n eat it.

.....WHAT??

Are you reading more into this than there is to read, I ask myself....?

I really don't get this, sorry....

hermitwin

Yes, no, maybe?

federica

Yes, no maybe..... what??

The discussion is cuddling in the place of/as a form of meditation.

Where are you going with this?

hermitwin

Sorry for the confusion.
I think if you want to cuddle, do it.
If you want to meditate, do so.
Dont mix it all up.

fivebells

Why do you want to meditate just before you go to sleep?

seeker242

Actual sitting meditation is much more valuable than any other kind IMO.

pegembara

Be mindful of the sensations, feelings and thoughts while breathing in and out. Observe them coming and going. When all these have stopped note the awareness that has been present all along.

federica

My fiance hasn't taken well to the idea of me meditating before I go to sleep, mainly because it takes time away from cuddling.

She's right. meditating before going to sleep, can lead dangerously to a tendency to relax too much, and put you to sleep.
In meditation, you should be able to maintain Relaxed Attention - or Attentive Relaxation. But doing it before going to sleep, just strikes your GF as you shutting off and going to sleep earlier, and avoiding her.

My gut tells me that there's a way of turning cuddling into an as meaningful practice as solo meditation. Anyone have thoughts about this?

Your 'Gut' is wrong. What you're feeling is actually just a desire to do both at once, to get your way, but to also achieve 'the quiet life' with your GF.

Meditation, is Mindful focused Concentration.
Cuddling is a bonding, intimate practice donewith someone you have affection for.

keep the two apart, and you'll be fine.
You can't have your cake - and eat it too.

aMatt

Certainly cuddling can be as mindful as any other activity. Most people who practice, though, consider sitting meditation a unique foundation for other mindful activities.

You may wish to pick a time earlier in your day to meditate. When considering your mindfulness, wouldn't it be better to be mindful during the day while awake and interacting rather than in bed sleeping?

Malachy12

mental picture *Zach Galifinakis- The cuddler

Yacababy

mental picture *Zach Galifinakis- The cuddler

I believe it was the snuggler. Haha with those short shorts.

vinlyn

I can't see combining cuddling and meditation, although I can see being mindful during both...but separately.