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Attachment..
Alright, as I read through the forums, I read about attachment. What is the deal with attachment? Are you not suppose to get attached or is it just the materialistic things in life that your not suppose to get wrapped up in?
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this may sound silly...but really...why are there so many different kinds of buddhas. Like statues and images. What makes them different? ^_^
If we say: "Oh, look at that beautiful fire! Look at the beautiful colors! I love red and orange; they're my favorite colors," and then grasp it, we would find a certain amount of suffering entering the body. And then if we were to contemplate the cause of that suffering we would discover it was the result of having grasped that fire. On that information, we would hopefully, then let the fire go. Once we let fire go then we know that it is something not to be attached to.
This does not mean we have to hate it, or put it out. We can enjoy fire, can't we? It's nice having a fire, it keeps the room warm, but we do not have to burn ourselves in it."
~Ajahn Sumedho
If you read this careful you will see the view of attachment from a buddhist perspective. The goal of the path is to be free of all attachments which frees you from dukkha. Now this doesn't mean anything to people like us. We are not that far along. So my advice is to just observe yourself and try to notice when attachments are causeing you stress. Look closely at the emotions and clinging you may feel. Learning to see the mental processes in this way takes a long time of practice. Don't feel discouraged because every person is the same. It takes time. Don't worry about being free of anything until you first observe them careful over and over again and know them like the back of your hand. Then, the wisdom will come to you without you having to force it when you are ready. Also here is a site that may have more information on attachment if you need it: http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/attachment.html
I hope these helped, what I wrote isn't law though, and only how I see things. Other people may have a different view of attachments and such. I just try to do my best and explain things from my own practice. : )
From my point of view, (and that is something you'll find an awful lot of Buddhists saying!) the definition of attachment is having a burning but unconscious desire to have all things in Life remaining permanently.... a good job, a wonderful partner, a wonderful home & posessions, two great parents..... all these things are subject to change, and end.... nothing is permanent and our wanting it to be, is what makes us distressed deep inside. these are the first two Noble Truths: that 1) Life is Difficult/Suffering, and that 2), it is that way because we cling to that which is impermanent.... So the Buddha showed us a way through this pain...; by following the Eightfold path,a nd making the Effort to do the 'Right Everything', we create an inner Peace and Joy which nothing can harm. we have a right to display anger, sadness, happiness, frustration, and any emotion you care to mention. just don't let it eat you up, and channel it constructively. use it to better know yourself.
The Buddha resisted effigies and statues of himself, because he really didn't want people elevating him to any other status than being a simple Man with a Plan.... however, statues of different kinds exist in different cultures, and they serve as a simple reminder that as he was, so can we be.... transpose your face for his, and you will see that this can be so.....
Expecting marriage to be like a fairytale.
Expecting one's career to go in a specific direction at a certain pace.
Blah blah blah...the list is endless.
The solution is usually to be honest with yourself and just say "I don't know."
"How will this turn out?"..."I don't know."
"Is there an afterlife?"..."I have no conscious recollection of a prior life so I don't know."
"Is there a god?"..."I don't know."
I'm glad that you're having queries about the Buddhist approach to overcoming attachment.
DO NOT WORRY ABOUT BEING UNSURE! One of the main things the Buddha taught was that you should question what he said - and not just take it for the written truth.
With that in mind maybe you could do a little experiment...
Take something you really cherish and hold it in your hands.
Ask yourself why you cherish this thing, what is it anyway?
Maybe it reminds you of someone or a time, place or love in the past. Ask yourself - does it bring that thing back to you? Does it make you closer to the person/thing/love/place?
Would all these feelings be lost if you no longer had the object?
Mediatate on these sorts of questions.
I hope you get the general idea - my favourite thing to do, is to imagine the thing you are attached to 50 years after you're dead - will it be so special then?
Is it really so special now?
One of the best pieces of advice I have ever gotten was regarding the true value of things. The real value of something is uncovered when you give it away to someone else. This is the true meaning of charity (in my opinion) and can help to bring you closer to yourself.
For example I purchased an expensive japanese sword from Japan, a few years ago. This particular sword is designed for the practice of Iaido - which I had intended on taking up. My path, instead, took me closer to the Chinese arts and so the sword, that I admired greatly, was not being used. Because the sword had 'cost' so much and because the beauty of it was so great I coveted it - enjoying being in it's presence and the potential still power it represented.
A few years down the line my friend began studying Aikido, a Japanese martial art. He was talking about purchasing a sword to futher his practice. This seemed like an excellent opportunity to reveal the true value of the object and I gave it to him - knowing that it would be used correctly by him and not possessed selfishly - like I had been doing.
Do I miss the sword - no.
Am I happier it is being put to use (focusing the mind of a martial artist) - of course.
I hope this story can be of some use. To truly get closer to non-attachment you must meditate on impermenance, in my opinion.
Then you can be not want.
peace
What about when you fall in love with someone...you become attached to them as well...and then when they are gone you hurt tremedously. I know life goes on...but I mean you can't help but to get attached to something or someone... Its human nature.
Is it really human nature?
I'm not sure - I'd say it was more to do with the nature of the ego.
I see your point though - trust me - just maintain your practice and maybe your views will change...
If this sounds condescending - I apologise I only want to help!
My best friend died about 8 months ago. It was a sad day but I was happy for him though - he had a good life and a good death. I see him in everything.
Do I yearn to have him back? No - for this is a futile endevour that will bring only negative emotions and thoughts. The same could be said for attaching to anything be they ideas things or people.
Try to sit and be, without wanting. Aware and accepting. This is zazen (meditation).
:thumbsup:
Exactly so.... emotions are not you.... what an insightful and worthy piece of wisdom....
Thanks Elohim for putting it so eloquently.... Gosh, I'm surrounded by geniuses!! All I need now is for it to become contagious....
On a lighter note,
I had a hampster named Chewy. And I found a home for him yesterday. Even though I was a bit sad I felt better because I gave him to a little boy who will enjoy him and love him more than I ever would. I have to say, making people happy is a natural high, especially when you make a child happy.
The further we are away from a situation, the clear it becomes. Hindsight is truly 20/20 (with corrective lenses, of course!).
You may end up realizing that you don't miss the him, the person, but you miss the IDEA of him..that is, of someone important in your life, etc.
Attachments are hard to let go of..whether it be a physical attachment or an attachment to an idea. No one said it would be easy! That is why we 'practice' buddhism... because we're not good at it yet
If you state that something you do is impossible to stop, you are confirming that something intangible and 'non-existent' is stronger than you (tangible and existent) are....
Having watched some of the distressing, harrowing and disturbing news footage from New Orleans and the surrounding communities, it's hard to imagine how desolate and desperate these people feel about losing everything they own.... (I wouldn't like to present these theories to these poor people right now. It would be adding insult to injury) but maybe down the line, in hindsight, they'd probably admit that their despair was at losing what those things represent: security, safety and peace of mind.... also, it's easier to break off an attachment to something, if we relinquish it voluntarily, instead of having it ripped from our grasp.....
That is my new favorite saying!