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How does one become more compassionate and Loving ?
It seems like every motivation I have is born of envy. Even when I am seeking to gain love it is because I want others to be envious of me. I do understand that since my motivation is for others to be envious towards me than I will only ever feel envy towards others . My connection with everything will be based off this envy. So I am assuming that If I seek pure compassion from others than I may find this pure compassion within myself. Than maybe the connection with everything will be based off of this compassion instead of envy. But it is difficult for me to let go of this envious motivation, maybe I fear that it is still of use?
This envious mentality has been successful in the past so part of me wants to hold on to it in the hope that I may be able to perfect my methods of obtaining others envy towards myself.
What I think I need to do is realize that the path of the heart is the right and only path. That this path of envy will only breed more envy, it will never free me. But how can I convince myself? Maybe if I can achieve some success while showing compassion I can than have faith in the path of the heart.But I feel that this may defeat the purpose, because if I am seeking acceptance from others I will also be once again entering this dreaded cycle of envy.
What methods can you propose for my predicament?