Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Sign In Register
Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Citta's Annual Christmas Joke..Prepare to groan.

CittaCitta Veteran
in General Banter
Every year an International Chess Tournament is held in a swanky London hotel.
Entrants come from all over the world to compete, and for a weekend the hotel is filled with argueing, gesticulating men and women
talking tactics and reliving old triumphs .
A guest was checking in. He was not part of the tournament and looked concerned at the sight of various people speaking loudly and pointing at each other in the hotel entrance..
' Dont worry sir ' said the concierge. ' its just

Chess nuts boasting
in an open foyer...'
anatamanVastmindvinlynMaryAnneInvincible_summerDennis1riverflowChazcvaluepersonZeroEvenThirdjaeTheswingisyellowsilver

Comments

  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    A joke worthy of Ajahn Brahm lol.... Oi.
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    Hahaha....Yes, I remember it from last year ;)
    riverflow
  • CittaCitta Veteran
    Good...It ill appear next year too... :)
    VastmindriverflowEvenThird
  • MaryAnneMaryAnne Veteran
    ::: groans ::: (but snickers)
  • anatamananataman Who needs a title? Where am I? Veteran
    OK - so Citta's the guy who writes cracker jokes for a living!

    Oh if you are an American and want clarification about the purpose and interpretation of christmas cracker jokes - Stephen Fry has done it… Fry's English delights - not sure which series though.
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    edited December 2013
    This was the first year that I got crackers to do with everyone. I never
    saw them growing up....
    My youngest one last night helped me put them in stockings, and we
    tried one for the first time..... Must be a trick to those things.....our tube
    just kinda tore in the middle...
    not nearly the pizzazz I was hoping for....hahaha

    Maybe not enough twist in the wrist... :)
    riverflowjae
  • ChazChaz The Remarkable Chaz Anywhere, Everywhere & Nowhere Veteran
    Citta said:

    Every year an International Chess Tournament is held in a swanky London hotel.
    Entrants come from all over the world to compete, and for a weekend the hotel is filled with argueing, gesticulating men and women
    talking tactics and reliving old triumphs .
    A guest was checking in. He was not part of the tournament and looked concerned at the sight of various people speaking loudly and pointing at each other in the hotel entrance..
    ' Dont worry sir ' said the concierge. ' its just

    Chess nuts boasting
    in an open foyer...'

    That's just frikkin AWFULL!

    Funny tho
  • ChazChaz The Remarkable Chaz Anywhere, Everywhere & Nowhere Veteran
    Citta said:

    Three men die just before Christmas.
    They arrive at the Pearly Gates and St Peter says ' You boys are in luck. In honour of the season, if you can produce something to remind me of Christmas you are in , no questions asked.'
    The first man walks up to the gate and takes a bunch of keys and shakes them...'these are Christmas bells' he says
    ' In you go ' says St Peter.
    The second man produces a lighter 'this is a Christmas candle' he says flicking it.
    'Go in my son' says The Fisherman.
    The third man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pair of woman's knickers.
    'What are these '? says St Peter.
    The man replies ' those are Carol's.....'



    Better
  • CinorjerCinorjer Veteran
    Citta said:

    Every year an International Chess Tournament is held in a swanky London hotel.
    Entrants come from all over the world to compete, and for a weekend the hotel is filled with argueing, gesticulating men and women
    talking tactics and reliving old triumphs .
    A guest was checking in. He was not part of the tournament and looked concerned at the sight of various people speaking loudly and pointing at each other in the hotel entrance..
    ' Dont worry sir ' said the concierge. ' its just

    Chess nuts boasting
    in an open foyer...'

    No, I'm sorry but I refuse to give puns an LOL. We need a "groan" icon.
    JeffreyEvenThirdVastmind
  • HamsakaHamsaka goosewhisperer Polishing the 'just so' Veteran
    anataman said:

    OK - so Citta's the guy who writes cracker jokes for a living!

    Oh if you are an American and want clarification about the purpose and interpretation of christmas cracker jokes - Stephen Fry has done it… Fry's English delights - not sure which series though.

    I've heard that Briton's 'pull crackers' at Christmas. Swear to god that brings strange things to mind. In the states, we ask people to pull our finger. Only the very young (or foreign) fall for this one.

    Gassho :)

    JeffreyjaeVastmind
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited December 2013
    Are crackers large explosive devices with jokes inside? We do that here sometimes (we bought some and now we have to use them somehow) They each have a tissue paper hat and a joke toy and saying inside. :)
  • jaejae Veteran
    @jeffrey ... yes!! full of tat... I like the 'fickle fish' the best...don't ask!
  • VastmindVastmind Memphis, TN Veteran
    Did I just hear a pun protest get started??

    Some of us are more socially engaged than we
    care to admit....lolololol
Sign In or Register to comment.