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Suicide
jae
Veteran
A friend of mine has just taken his own life... what are the Buddhist thoughts on suicide please?
0
Comments
EDIT: I will add that you may come across certain people who will say suicide is "selfish" or "cowardly." I find such comments ignorant and lacking compassion. I don't believe most people who commit suicide actually want to die. They are simply unable to see beyond a very contracted horizon. Under the right external and biochemical/neurological conditions, it could be any one of us. Such people deserve our compassion as much as anyone else.
That said, it isn't a solution either, and to not condemn it on some level is to suggest it's okay, which in turn will encourage other people to copy it-- the sociologists have well documented that if lots of newspaper articles run about suicide or if they don't portray it in a sufficiently negative fashion there will be copy cats, sometimes a lot.
As for how the living should view a suicide, maybe better to view it like any other death-- a reminder to the living of impermanence, an opportunity to practice compassion for those in suffering, even if they are now beyond actual help.
Buddhism is about fostering compassion for all, whatever we may feel about their actions.
He'll be back, same shit, different life.
My apologies if that sounds harsh or disrespectful, but your friend will be back, in another life, with much the same karma as he had in this life.
In Buddhism, suicide is not an escape.
I've had two good friends and two cousins kill themselves, and my grandmother attempted it, so I know how you might be feeling; take care of yourself.
*imaginary hug*
Contemplating death and it's different aspects is something we all must do at some time.
Western society is poor at doing it.
Compassion for the dead and dying is something that brings focus and concentration.
Mettha
So far in my life death has never really upset me, my elder relations were sick and it was a great release for them, with my friend Fabien that took his life I'm not sad he is dead just that he was alone... thanks for the comment and vertual hug...back at ya.. mettha
We all do things that risk or shorten our lifespans.
Society says that's not too bad unless it permanently damages us or ends our life. Even then, when risky activities end badly, the common quip is "at least he/she was doing what he/she wanted to do".
I don't think one can condemn anothers suicide and not be a hypocrite unless you also stop doing whatever brings more risk of the shortening of your own life.
My point is that we all participate in aspects of our own disregard for life.
When someone takes that so far as to end their life, the differences between there actions and ours are just questions of degree & hopefully allows empathy for all parties where so often there is just religious judgement & condemnation.
Some unsolicited advice: direct your energy towards a goal that would honour the memory of your friend.
But there are plenty of Bodhisattvas who volunteer to go to the realms that suicides are reborn in (I believe in rebirth).
Feel free to contact me on NB. I have felt like offing myself before and am feeling much better now.
@Jeffrey.. I've read a little about the realms of the hungry ghosts and the Bodhisattvas that that go there, do you ever think that we are in that realm? I know little but shouldn't we all strive to be Bodhisttvas? I couldn't imagine wanting to find Nirvana if I knew there were so many people left behind ... what are your thoughts that's addressed to anyone that's reading.. please feel free to correct me if I've misunderstood, I'm reading so much its kind of confusing sometimes ... mettha to all, have a good day where ever you are x
@Jeffrey.. I've read a little about the realms of the hungry ghosts and the Bodhisattvas that that go there, do you ever think that we are in that realm? I know little but shouldn't we all strive to be Bodhisttvas? I couldn't imagine wanting to find Nirvana if I knew there were so many people left behind ... what are your thoughts that's addressed to anyone that's reading.. please feel free to correct me if I've misunderstood, I'm reading so much its kind of confusing sometimes ... mettha to all, have a good day where ever you are x
One thing that always helped me...and this might be a bit radical...I deeply believe in freedom to the point that I feel that resenting a person for committing suicide is tantamount to binding him/her.
I think of it in terms of allowing a person to leave in your own mind..it's like a moment where you say 'who am I to say you cannot depart of your own will'..
I guess what I'm saying is, you really can accept it, completely (without saying that it was something you...'endorse' for lack of better word. this is very hard to express.)
I also very much agree with @ourself in saying that it is indeed a matter of degree...and to further that point there are many people on this earth who are still breathing but have long ago 'given up' in some form or another.
But @jae make no mistake, suicide is a very heavy emotional load on the survivors. No one can expect you to be unaffected or serene. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and ignore anyone who tells you to simply 'get over it'. Wish you well.
One moment of consciousness conditions the arising of next (rebirth), just as one action conditions the quality of feeling a moment of consciousness cognizes (kamma); and if one accepts the teachings on rebirth, this process doesn't ceases at death if there's still craving (tahna) present in the mind (in the this case, craving for non-becoming). Hence the Buddha's statement, "If someone gives up this body and seizes another, I say it is a fault" (MN 144).
When it comes to our practical day-to-day lives, however, we're not always capable of being as stoic as we may wish to be; and sadly, enduring all of the difficult circumstances that life has to throw at us isn't always possible. It sucks when people we know end their own lives because their absence affects us. But it sucks just as much when they die naturally or in an accident. Death is something we're all continually confronted with, and I don't think we should worry about what others have to say about it so much as about how its presence can help motive us to practice and be better to one another.
I'm don't think I can call myself a Buddhist just yet, but I feel comfortable with what I have learnt so far and what I have learnt is certainly helping my personal journey and everyday ups and downs. Have a great day.
@Jason.... I agree with you, his death has prompted me to do something (positive) I should have done a long time ago. mettha
So, I'm an expert on muscular headaches. If anybody's had a headache for more than 3 days, contact me.
Having had those thoughts in the past in my opinion depression is very hard to explain, for me having post natal depression I actually 'thought' it would be better for my kids if I were not here.. an ongoing argument ..... 'taking my own life would have an impact but would it be less than being brought up by me, if I ran away and just left them would the abandonment be worse' round and round and round it went.......its not always as selfish in the head of the person in that situation.
At that time I hated myself so much I was consumed by it.
However I'm so glad I 'won' the agrument. I can sympathise with your parents choice, I'm not sure if my take on it will give you any peace of mind or a little more understanding, that is my intention. love and hugs to you both xx
All the best to you, blessings and metta.
Todd
Here is one of my favorite suttas; the Metta Sutta:
This is what should be done
By one who is skilled in goodness,
And who knows the path of peace:
Let them be able and upright,
Straightforward and gentle in speech.
Humble and not conceited,
Contented and easily satisfied.
Unburdened with duties and frugal in their ways.
Peaceful and calm, and wise and skillful,
Not proud and demanding in nature.
Let them not do the slightest thing
That the wise would later reprove.
Wishing: In gladness and in saftey,
May all beings be at ease.
Whatever living beings there may be;
Whether they are weak or strong, omitting none,
The great or the mighty, medium, short or small,
The seen and the unseen,
Those living near and far away,
Those born and to-be-born,
May all beings be at ease!
Let none deceive another,
Or despise any being in any state.
Let none through anger or ill-will
Wish harm upon another.
Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings:
Radiating kindness over the entire world
Spreading upwards to the skies,
And downwards to the depths;
Outwards and unbounded,
Freed from hatred and ill-will.
Whether standing or walking, seated or lying down
Free from drowsiness,
One should sustain this recollection.
This is said to be the sublime abiding.
By not holding to fixed views,
The pure-hearted one, having clarity of vision,
Being freed from all sense desires,
Is not born again into this world.
All the best to you jae
But some astrology says they gains better chance in next life.