Building Empathy

lamaramadingdong

I do a number of trainings for people who support those with intellectual disabilities, mental health issues, behavior problems, etc. One of my goals with all training is to increase people's empathy for others and I do a number of exercises to help do that (e.g., one exercise is to have people write down a ritual that they have regarding getting up in the morning, coming home from work, holidays, etc. After they have done this, I have them switch routines with someone else and tell them that this is their new routine that they must follow. We talk about what they like about the new one, what they don't like and what their life would be like if someone else dictated their routine- which happens frequently for the people they support).
Anyway, I've been trying to think of other exercises I could do with people to hopefully increase their level of empathy for others. My next thought was, I should ask my sangha.
So give it some thought and please share your (secular) ideas about how to increase empathy.

anataman

It's hard enough to teach empathy to people who are regarded as 'normal'; doing that for people with intellectual, mental and behavioural problems must be really very hard (and at times frustrating). I don't envy what you do, but understand where you are coming from. Not sure that many people reading this will be able to offer many suggestions, unless they have an academic interest in empathic R&D. I shall monitor this post with interest, as I may find it quite useful as well.

lamaramadingdong

Actually, my training is for the "normal" people who support them. Many of the folks with "problems" have tons of empathy in my experience.

anataman

sorry @lamaramadingdong I misread beginning comments of the thread. I should read things thrice before commenting. My immediate reaction of sympathy dis-coloured my understanding.

how

Empathy is just a lack of self obsession.
The dissolving of a conditioned "self verses them", mentality.
Instructions for Fostering that is what has filled most of the Tripa Taka.

lamaramadingdong

@how- I agree. Unfortunately, I can't tell people to "just be Buddhists". At least not in those words...

lobster

Role playing, psycho dharma/drama.

So for example a person can play out a behaviour they have difficulty with, the group or with someone dealing with the behaviour. Then explore what is actually being communicated, often different to the ostensible communication. Through observation of both the difficult and solver, we gain insight and empathy as well as increased observational and independence skills.

:wave:

jae

@lamaramadingdong ..........maybe suggest trying to see their clients as their own children or their grandchildren, we never know how are kids will turn out as I've said before but we all know how we would like our offspring to be treated. I'm not a Buddhist, I am learning Buddha nature (early stages) so this is just my take on it, I can't give you any meaningful quotations. Good luck and I admire your proffession.

My mother worked 'in the service' for most of her life and loved it, I've been as far as the interview but unfortunatley as with most 'really' important jobs the salary is rubbish and at this point in my life I cannot take the cut.... mettha

Frozen_Paratrooper

Since I started taking foster parent classes, I've found a lot more empathy for poor and neglected children. To where it makes me emotional to see a child in a bad spot. At the same time, I've lost a lot of empathy for parents of neglected children. To the point of zero. I'm typically very calm and high spirited, so I try not to dwell on the misery so much. But it just makes me so sad.

Vastmind

Wow...this was a harder question than I first thought.....

How do you teach people to imagine walking in
others' shoes?? .....Maybe focusing on things in common...??

I'm really going to chew on this........

Kundo

I have a tonne of more empathy since May 2013.

But in the end, you can only try to understand things from the other's POV. Walk in their shoes....

AllbuddhaBound

It has been a long time but I once attended a conference for people with disabilities. A presenter had a brilliant idea, and it was one I used.

The presenter had an example of a client who had an impossible dream. He wanted to be a pilot and people continually told him he would never do that. When you are talking about people's limitations and try to make them realistic, it can set things up for all kinds of problems with behaviour.

His worker did not go with the normal, force him into being reasonable approach. So the worker and the client attended a star trek convention and as you may have guessed, it was completely acceptable for him to be a pilot here. The client (is that politically correct now?) completely turned his behaviour around. It was a real win/win for this young man. I used a similar approach with a lot of success.

My own example involved a young man who obsessed on buying picture frames. His guardian became concerned that he was spending all of his money on these picture frames. So as a worker, the client and I developed a goal to continue shopping for the picture frame but the goal was to find the "perfect" picture frame. We spent a lot of time searching second hand stores and flea markets searching out the picture frame, but we finally found it. Once we found it, I expected we would begin the search for the next great picture frame but he surprised me, and he dropped the obsession completely.

So what I would suggest in your situation, would be to have the people attending, name the "Impossible Dreams" of their clients, and then brain storm alternatives that would help the clients to realize their impossible dreams in an acceptable way.

Good luck with the class.

lamaramadingdong

@Allbuddhabound- good stuff, OK if I use your story?

AllbuddhaBound

No problem. Feel free.