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Don't know WHAT possessed me, but...
Sabine
Veteran
I told my mom that I am seriously planning on "officially" converting to Buddhism. At first (probably because this was late at night), she didn't really say anything, but now my parents are making me randomly pray with them, and they're going to start making me do Bible study stuff. :sadc: What do I do??? I have to stay here for two more years...and I have a feeling that if I refuse to give in, it'll just get worse...I already have to leave my few books on Buddhism in my locker at school 
And she also told me to not tell my friends/boyfriend (which I've already done), because they'll think I'm "Satanic." :hrm:
And she also told me to not tell my friends/boyfriend (which I've already done), because they'll think I'm "Satanic." :hrm:
0
Comments
You can go through the motions and pretend you see the error of your ways (so to speak). She'll think it was just a phase, but you'll probably be at least as miserable as you were before since now you'll have a greater lie to hold up.
You can passively do nothing. You can sit quietly as she prays, refuse to talk about the Bible, etc. She won't be happy, and she'll try harder at least at first, but she might get bored and start laying off a bit.
Of course, you can just consider that cat out of the bag and totally be yourself and do what you want to do. I don't propose that you rub it into your mom's face or try to convert her or prove that you're right/she's wrong, or anything like that. But neither would you be worrying too much about her, either. Again, she'd probably try harder at first, then eventually settle with only occasional lectures.
In reality, you might try a combination of 2 and 3. Please let me know how it goes. Afterall, I'm not out of the closet yet when it comes to Buddhism, though I have told my mom I wasn't Catholic and don't go to church.
It lasted about 5 years, on and off, until we decided to avoid the subject entirely.
I carried on with my spiritual studies and practice because my parents were firm believers in freedom of expression (having both taken part in WW2) and, at the same time, I read everything my father threw at me. I learned an enormous amount that way, although I have a memory of great hurt on all sides. My main support was my grandmother.
So I have no advice at all, only sympathy and good thoughts as well as trust that the Dharma does not let us down because it is testable truth.
Like DK said, keep us informed on how things are going.
Carlia
My parents are both Roman Catholic. my British father converted when he married my Italian mother. It was just the simplest and easiest thing to do at the time. (Anything for a quiet life....!!)
My mother is still a regular church-goer and actively participates in the mass through doing the readings and assisting during communion.
Having said this, there are aspects of current Catholic doctrine she abhors, particularly on the issue of women priests. a good 70%of regular RC church-goers are women, and yet....!
For my part, I was raised RC and actively participated throughout my life, by among other things, attending a convent for my own schooling, and educating my two girls in Catholic schools and becoming a school Governor, which entailed quite a close contact with the school itself, as well as the religion 'supporting' it.
So when I decided to follow the Buddhist path, as you can see from the above, I expected the fall-out to be sizeable....
To my astonishment, nobody batted an eyelid. 'Au Contraire':My mother, who has extensively studied Indian philosophy through Ayurvedic medicine, was very interested. We still have wonderful discussions on all sorts of aspects of our two "disciplines" and combine our knowledge wonderfully.
If I have learnt anything through this, it is to not be dismissive. Thank your parents for their obvious care and concern for you. Remember that what people don't understand, they fear. Look for the similarities between the Biblical and Buddhist Teachings - believe me, they do exist! Whichever parent you relate to most, speak to them, gradually and gently introducing your point of view. Sometimes, the fight is just two people pulling in the same direction, without knowing it....
I like it. I think you are a wonderful person.
Thanks.
cheers,
I'll just keep learning as much as possible of the Dharma, and also put your advice into action. I guess I'll just have to stay away from her as much as possible, too--I keep hearing random mutterings about "hell, Jesus, God, etc."
I don't know what I'd do...
If I were an adult... I'd tell them exactly what I want to do in the most peaceful way possible.
If I were NOT an adult - I think I'd practice passiveness.
I guess if they want you to pray, I think I would go through the motions to please them - and that's about it. And if they say, "You're just going through the motions!!!" - you could tell them, "Yes, because that's what you want me to do."
Or you could meditate while they pray.
You can tell them that you love them and that, possibly, your feelings about Christianity haven't changed a bit.
I just think that if you're not praying to their Christian god for real - it doesn't do any good anyway.
Maybe you could have them pray with you before you go to bed...
"And God bless Mommy and Daddy and Buddha..."
-bf
Were they?
That's one of the stories you rarely hear about. What goes on behind the scenes.
I remember seeing a show on the History Channel about Abraham in the Bible.
The story we've read in the tells a story of the faith Abraham had in God and how willing he was to do God's commandments. Sacrificing his only son (that they had tried and tried for a long time to have) to God as part of God's commandment.
But, in Jewish history, it tells of all the hurt, anger, and such that happened between Abraham and his wife (who's name eludes me at this point in time).
That his wife never really got over it and it caused a rift between them for the rest of their days together.
Many times we hear the happy tale of what happened to various figures in history - but seldom do we hear about the repercussions of these acts.
If anyone has a link or book regarding Simon's statements, I'd love to check it out. It just goes to show that ~everyone~ has to deal with the real world and it's problems.
-bf
What were they?
-bf
St. peter denied knowing him, before the crucifixion - if this isn't denial, I don't know what is.... and Judas has gone down big time as history's mega social pariah for dropping him in it big time.....
Ok, peter repented afterwards, but it's always easy after the event....
Abraham's wife was Sarah, BTW... I have it on very good authority....*giggle*
I forgot about them finding him with the religious big-wigs schoolin' 'em with his skilz.
BOYEEEEE!
-bf
Well, so far, I haven't been forced to an exorcism yet, so no biggie. And I read this awesome article in a Newsweek magazine about spirituality, so that helped.
[BTW, there is an interesting clue in this text to an alternative theology of the Cross, very different from the, to me. disgusting 'substitutionary' stuff. But that's a horse of a different colour, isn't it?]
In a strange way I share your situation.
I come from a staunchly Atheist family where religion is generally scoffed at as a waste of time and, to but it bluntly, nonsense.
I, therefore, get a hard time for being vegetarian, not drinking and generally living for the sake of something other than material gain.
I respect the views of my parents - I don't share them and that means I don't have to live by them.
This makes for some friction sometimes but it only deepens my practice, my resolve to walk the path - regardless of critique.
With regular meditation and mindfullness I have been able to stand up and say:
"Thank you for loving me and caring for me. Now I but wish to love and care for others."
Are these the words of a devil?
I hope the different spiritual paths in your family do not affect your relationship with them - after all you have the sangha for any form of Buddhist support!
Now you're just being cryptic. Be fair and share.... some of us are not so thoroughly read... I'm up for a quick bit of theological education - it is Sunday after all...!! :buck:
"In the beginning was the logos" - traditionally the word logos is translated by the static "word" but it also has the meaning of "conversation", an interchange of views.
It is possible to view the event of the Cross as the culmination of an 'internal', 'family' struggle between Yahweh (Justice) and the Christ (Love and Reconciliation) where the latter prevails. It is not about human failings or some 'Fall' but about whether the world is to be judged or loved.
There is therefore no 'sacrifice' of a Son by a Father (a disgusting idea which contradicts the Abraham/Isaac legend) but an event which is reflected over and over again within human families. As Above, so Below, as the Magick people say.
The Swiss theologian, Moltmann is an important writer on this notion of the Cross being a matter internal to the Trinity. The outcome, being a victory for the Son, results in the Spirit being an Advocate rather than an Accuser.
There you are, in a nutshell.
The "trick" is to glean.... you sort the wheat from the chaff and focus on what really matters, what 'speaks' to you.... much of what Christ and St. Paul say can be read in Buddhist terminology.... the scriptures are open to interpretation, but the central message of Truth although coated in multi-layered diatribe, is faultless and crystal-clear.... getting lost in discussing what is probable, arguable or tenuous - and by Buddhist logic, therefore irrelevant - risks taking one away from the important.
Blimey, what a serious post!!
And here's an audio clip from the Newsweek site--the woman in the second part of the clip converted to Tibetan Buddhism and she now teaches it at Wesleyan University ^_^
(If you want to just hear her part, skip to about 4 minutes/27 seconds. *nod*)
http://msnbc.msn.com/id/9107257/site/newsweek/
It's from the Newsweek special "Spirituality 2005." Pretty good read, I rented it from my school's library. ^_^ Unfortunately, the site doesn't have the entire article. XP
i think you should explain to your parent why you want to convert/follow buddhism path.if the explanation is reasonable i think your parent will allow you to follow this Path.But even if they don't accept your explanation you shouldn't argue with your parent.Show them that Buddhism have made you become a better person (more diligent, more obidient, for example)
Your parents will be angry of course, unless they are extremely understanding people or what... Maybe you will have to apply your Buddhist understandings to practical situations... Then myabe they will start to realize what you mean.
I was born Buddhist but was raised more like a Taoist. I picked up my first Buddhist book last year and I changed. I knew my life wouldn't be the same again. I wasn't the idiot I had been. My mum noticed a change in me. Maybe your mum will notice the changes in you too.
I'll probably just stay off the subject for a while, anyway. You know. Let stuff cool off.
the other day we drove passed a sign that said "tennis buddies". She remarked at the time, "tennis buddhist? what's that all about?!" after which continued a ten minute "joke" with my father involving humming & miming playing tennis. instead of reacting, i just ignored them & let them have their fun. after a while they got bored and started talking about other things.
it is genuinly best to let these things run their course; but to say something if a certain line is crossed that should never have been.
that's my advice, anyhow!
If there is a chance for open-minded discussion, I will talk about my beliefs. If the steel door has been snapped shut, I do not even bother.
Some people think they are right and everyone else is wrong. I remember a line from the play and movie "Inherit the Wind": "`Right' has no meaning whatsoever. But `Truth' has meaning, as a direction."
Right-o. Flyte, I'm sorry about your brother.