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So, here I am...
Fenix
Veteran
Dont answer this
I dont know why this does not come up more. Its the only problem I´ve ever had. Im doubting whetever there is a cure or not. Its not imaginary I know that. And its not a cloud in the sky passing through. Its not even a problem ´cause it is always there and dosent need to be found to be seen. Am I different or are others ignorant to see it, Am I ignorant and others wise to see it? Will it stay or will it leave, it dosent matter ´cause its been here already.
I dont know why this does not come up more. Its the only problem I´ve ever had. Im doubting whetever there is a cure or not. Its not imaginary I know that. And its not a cloud in the sky passing through. Its not even a problem ´cause it is always there and dosent need to be found to be seen. Am I different or are others ignorant to see it, Am I ignorant and others wise to see it? Will it stay or will it leave, it dosent matter ´cause its been here already.
0
Comments
quit
Secondly, consider whether, if you quit, there's any point in starting a thread in the first place.
Thirdly - what is it you want, exactly?
I dont want a quick fix. I dont want to lie down. All I can think is this whole thing must be pseudo, cause I am sure that what I have been doing for ten months is not the point. I have tried relaxing. Its not relaxing. Its simply an issue of balance. I feel I would have as much chance of meditating as I would upside down, none that is. Why dosent this ever have come up with literally anyone else. At least of all the things I would have thought that I can just sit. right? Even if I would fail anything else at least I can sit, right? Im so frustrated
I dont want an answer how to get better. I want to know why its so hard. Is the point to actually just sit and do nothing else. I can do that. I can sit, but when I start to focus on something else than my whole being starts to revert to a position where I can naturally "stand", so this is on my face on the floor! surely its not the point to just stubbornly ignore the natural tendency to let go, you know.
Its not either that I have to adjust it a little again, sigh. its that I can NOT let go otherwise I will not be sitting in that chair.
And like I said if I follow this natural tendency I will fall flat on my face OR I will inch lower and lower on my back until the chair would finally slip from under me entirely.
Surley there should be like this point where the weight of your body can be distributed and with slightest efforts coming back to that point.
In my case its like holding a person in your arms and saying "dont hold him, let him float in the air..." Obviously he wont float, I have to hold him there or else he will drop, period.
Have courage and patience. If you want good results, you have to put in effort. The quick, cheap, easy way gives a poor result. Have faith! There are good results to be had. But they're not just had by hard work, they require the right KIND of work. It sounds to me like no one ever told you which way to go so you've been stuck on step 1 for 10 months.
If I were you, I'd stretch and bend your spinal column (look up yoga stuff on youtube), get something to sit on like folded clothes or something to elevate your butt off the ground, sit down cross legged, and begin an investigation. Investigate what is going on so that you can figure out what to do. Take it one step at a time. It doesn't make sense to try to go from step one to step three, it won't work. For you I think you need to just practice sitting still. Think about your spine and the muscles that stabilize it.
Idk. Good luck. If things are not going well for you, ASK FOR HELP!! It's free and highly beneficial! Jesus said, "Ask and it shall be given to you" Matthew 7:7
Good luck friend, don't give up.
To what end?
Do you know, I've been practising Buddhism for around 20-odd years...
I've only recently begun to devote time to meditating I would say in the last six months or so.
I do it in around 5-minute slots, during the day... and sometimes, I give myself more time, at others I have to take less, depending on circumstance.
Why beat yourself up like this?
Would you expect a toddler to do 10 lengths of the pool, when he's only been in the water for a day?
Would you expect a jogger, who's just begun a running fitness regime to do a marathon?
Meditation is not a forced obligation.
Little and often is better than timed and prolonged.
A friend of mine meditates standing up. I do that too, sometimes. I adopt a Qi Gong stance, and stand, in relaxed attention, or attentive relaxation... take your pick...
There are no concrete rules, no must, must nots, can, cannots, no enforcement, no right single way, nor wrong single way.....
When something becomes an ordeal, and a negative challenge - heck, really - it's time to stop!!
Because, I want happiness
part two:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jP8CP2gzTA
Also this talk:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9S4lpDdUU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0tLVQLSlsE
That ^
Fenix, stop for a few days and see how you feel then. Pushing harder becomes counterproductive at some point.
Watch your mind in all postures. Are you frustrated? Know what frustration is like, know how and why it arises, why it stays and why it ceases. Learn to observe and let go. Learn to see the movements of the mind as impermanent and not-self.
Practice is more than just sitting.
Yes, when you need to - or try doing it when you don't or try not when you need to, or try ...