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Meditation and Day to Day issues

newbud2010newbud2010
edited November 2010 in Meditation
Hi everyone,
I would love your thoughts and comments on this. I am new to this forum. When I sit and meditate, it feels really peaceful and calm. However, in real life, when those surges of anger or greed arise, I find myself loosing control. What do I do? Should I increase my time of daily meditation, or can any one give me tips on what to do in that moment? Coz, when anger arises, or when greed arises, to be angry seems to be the right thing to do. I find it so hard to stop and not react and focus on the breath. However, later, when that emotion has passed away, I regret being reactive. Also, should one never react to anything? it just seems so hard. What is the right way to react to a stressful situation in real life.

Comments

  • DaltheJigsawDaltheJigsaw Mountain View Veteran
    edited November 2010
    I have no idea...
    I would love to know the same thing!:)
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited November 2010
    Breathe.

    Really, really deeply.
  • robotrobot Veteran
    edited November 2010
    I don't know if there is any way to simply change the way that you are accustomed to react. I do think that in time meditation practice can help to bring mindfulness to everyday situations. For example, banging my head or something like that, that causes a sudden pain would trigger anger in me. At a certain point I noticed that there was no need to have anger with my pain and gradually it stopped happening. Now pain is pain. Without the anger. It seems like somehow the same logic has started to work its way into other situations as well. I can feel the anger much earlier on in the game and can moderate it somewhat. Shantideva says that if defilement is present in the mind, the system needs to be shut down and "like a log of wood you should remain" Hard to do.-P
  • newbud2010newbud2010
    edited November 2010
    Wow, thanks for that answer.
  • Joshu-sDogJoshu-sDog
    edited November 2010
    Well, you've made a step forward even if you've not realised it. What step forward? You're noticing these surges of anger and greed. Most people don't even see these things arising, they just follow them as impulses and don't even see them or the suffering they cause.

    You on the other hand, are beginning to see them. This is called mindfulness. You are becoming more aware of your mind and are beginning to see how things work in there. What should you do in the moment? Just watch the thoughts arise. That's all they are... just thoughts. They'll pass in time. If they get really strong, just focus on your breathing as Federica suggests.

    So keep at it, stay mindful, and be confident that you're moving in the right direction. :)

    _/|\_
  • newbud2010newbud2010
    edited November 2010
    Very true. Thanks for the answers guys. Really appreciated.
  • Floating_AbuFloating_Abu Veteran
    edited November 2010
    newbud2010 wrote: »
    Hi everyone,
    I would love your thoughts and comments on this. I am new to this forum. When I sit and meditate, it feels really peaceful and calm. However, in real life, when those surges of anger or greed arise, I find myself loosing control. What do I do? Should I increase my time of daily meditation, or can any one give me tips on what to do in that moment? Coz, when anger arises, or when greed arises, to be angry seems to be the right thing to do. I find it so hard to stop and not react and focus on the breath. However, later, when that emotion has passed away, I regret being reactive. Also, should one never react to anything? it just seems so hard. What is the right way to react to a stressful situation in real life.

    Hi newbud

    Do you have a center/s nearby. If you find a qualified teacher, (you will have an instinct as to whether they can guide you or not) then it might be a good idea to take these questions to them and work with them over a long period of time. Just very briefly, yes I think this is normal. Just keep up the sitting daily, (it works even when it doesn't seem to be and if you are really sitting, something is happening even if it doesn't seem to be) and if you have the inclination you can always investigat this anger etc in meditation with insight if you have this ability. Then when it happens in 'off cushion' time there may be some recollection to help you deal with it. Feel how it moves, see and identify that part which is not angry amidst the anger, listen to its thoughts and its self-indignation ie see what it is made up of. Or pay attention and take responsibility as a old friend might say. And try to do the right thing but you will have to gauge what that means, observe the interaction with the world. We each contribute to this world and we are all in this together so to speak and if you live by the Heart, it seems to care for this world and all its inhabitants, at least this is my opinion.
    Good Luck and keep going.
    Abu
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