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Cheryl died one night, all alone, with no one holding her hand, no one to comfort her, no one to cry with her.we all die alone... even if there are dozens of people around our bedside.. no one can die with us.. we take that final journey, that final test, by ourselves. Your mind thinks otherwise though, which is causing you guilt, fear, and sadness... this is the nature of our mind full of delusions . You could not "go with her" or "help her pass" so guilt arises... and a feeling of helplessness... and the "what ifs" arise.. I could of done this.. I could of done that.. etc.
All Alone, in a depressing, ugly, nursing home room.
Lately I've been having some strange experiences on waking and while meditating... I posted a little about this before, here:
This has basically instead of being just obstacles what I'm now experiencing are some truly weird things, including some spoken fragments, that seem to tie in with physical sensations. The two coordinate, to the extent that I hear things like "now I untie this bit" and I feel something being manipulated on the sole of my foot.
Also I have had a few experiences of felt sensation deep within and around the body, in a kind of ovoid space sometimes filled with a light tinnitus which I can also hear. Sometimes also deeply below the body or in a kind of transparent space co-located with the head, but without there actually being a head there.
Anyone got any ideas what this is? Am I running into something tantric?
@Kerome I'm not quite sure I can be of help in this, as i've never come close to experiencing anything like this in my own practice. I also don't know much about your tradition and what practices you do.
The only thing I could possibly say, taken with a grain of salt, is that I've heard many respected monastics answer questions related to similar issues, and almost always the answer is basically to observe it, to not get too tied up into it, attached to it, or afraid of it, just to be aware and observe as the phenomenon come and go. It sounds like these are all sensory phenomenon that require detached examination.
I think this is valid advice so long as the phenomenon is not damaging you and you feel comfortable in doing so.
If this is related to Tantric stuff, then best to speak with someone who does tantric practice, as others have related already.
It depends on the intention behind the thoughts and where the thoughts lead. This is what Right Intention is all about, having thoughts of letting go, of goodwill, and of compassion, as opposed to covetousness, ill will, and cruelty(wrong intention).
thoughts that arise don't come from nowhere, you set the groundwork for those thoughts in the past, so right effort is all about abandoning harmful, unskillful mind states, and abiding in beneficial, skillful ones. You are slowly and gradually changing the habitual tendencies of your mind, and not allowing harmful thoughts to take hold anymore, no longer propagating them so they arise again in the future.
so not all thoughts are bad, and not all thoughts lead to suffering, those thoughts that do lead to suffering are to be abandoned and replaced with thoughts that lead to freedom.
Any chance the Buddha said this...?
This is probably the closest the Buddha has ever come to saying " take nobody's shit".
I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Rajagaha in the Bamboo Grove, the Squirrels' Sanctuary. Then the brahman Akkosaka Bharadvaja heard that a brahman of the Bharadvaja clan had gone forth from the home life into homelessness in the presence of the Blessed One. Angered & displeased, he went to the Blessed One and, on arrival, insulted & cursed him with rude, harsh words.
When this was said, the Blessed One said to him: "What do you think, brahman: Do friends & colleagues, relatives & kinsmen come to you as guests?"
"Yes, Master Gotama, sometimes friends & colleagues, relatives & kinsmen come to me as guests."
"And what do you think: Do you serve them with staple & non-staple foods & delicacies?"
"Yes, sometimes I serve them with staple & non-staple foods & delicacies."
"And if they don't accept them, to whom do those foods belong?"
"If they don't accept them, Master Gotama, those foods are all mine."
"In the same way, brahman, that with which you have insulted me, who is not insulting; that with which you have taunted me, who is not taunting; that with which you have berated me, who is not berating: that I don't accept from you. It's all yours, brahman. It's all yours.
"Whoever returns insult to one who is insulting, returns taunts to one who is taunting, returns a berating to one who is berating, is said to be eating together, sharing company, with that person. But I am neither eating together nor sharing your company, brahman. It's all yours. It's all yours."