How to deal with anger?

vlrox

I have bi-polar, i am currently on medicine but it is very expensive. And i have major anger/stress mood swings. I would say i am more mad than happy, more depressed than happy. Why? i do not know. How would someone try to come to terms with this illness? How would you deal with anger? I can tell when i am about to get "explosive". Just have not quite figured out how to deal with it.

Bunks

Wow! I'm sorry to hear that....I'm lucky enough to only rarely get angry.

Maybe try this technique I used last night - I was lying in bed and the young guy over the road had his "doof doof" on and I was getting a bit upset. So I started to study my feelings as if I were another (or third) person. I found that my anger subsided or shifted somehow. Hard to explain. I became disconnected from it. It was weird but it kinda worked. Something I want to explore more.

I'm sure there are far wiser people on here who can give you better advice.

Good luck!!

RebeccaS

They've had some success using DBT therapy for bi-polar. It's a therapy based on learning to regulate emotions. If you're aware enough to know you're about to get into an explosive state you might find it really useful because it teaches you how to deal with that feeling. It's also based on the mindfulness practice of Zen Buddhism which is super neat.

Obviously you should stay on the meds if thats what your doc recommends because bi-polar is a chemical problem and your doc is probably crazy smart, but they did a study on monks which showed that meditation actually changes the brain's chemistry.

vlrox

They've had some success using DBT therapy for bi-polar. It's a therapy based on learning to regulate emotions. If you're aware enough to know you're about to get into an explosive state you might find it really useful because it teaches you how to deal with that feeling. It's also based on the mindfulness practice of Zen Buddhism which is super neat.

Obviously you should stay on the meds if thats what your doc recommends because bi-polar is a chemical problem and your doc is probably crazy smart, but they did a study on monks which showed that meditation actually changes the brain's chemistry.

What is DBT? Thank you so much. Even on my medication i get very upset, mostly at night and over situations i can not control.

RebeccaS

Dialectical behaviour therapy. It's very CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) like in that it's action based. You get assignments and are given coping skills to practice for when you feel yourself getting into that negative headspace so that you can cope with those emotions in more effective and positive ways.

It was originally developed for people with borderline personality disorder, but they're seeing it be really successful in other areas. I think it's been so successful with bipolar because it's quite similar in terms of behavior to BPD and often occurs alongside it. But that's just speculation on my part.

So it's not like talk therapy and you don't spend a lot of time rehashing the past, but you focus more on where you're at now, dealing with emotions that you find difficult and finding more constructive ways of expressing yourself.

A very basic example is a technique given to those who are prone to self harm - instead of injuring yourself, hold an ice cube in your fist until you feel an amount of discomfort satisfactory to you. This way the person gets that endorphin release without actually doing any damage. A person utilizing this technique is now handling the impulse to self harm in a much more constructive way and may even one day be able to comfortably let go of that, too.

RebeccaS

Here's an overview of some of the skills taught in DBT http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/dbt_skills_list.html (this website is aimed at those suffering with borderline, but the skills are the same )

Geoff-Allen

You have my sympathies - I used to get VERY angry & it aint much fun!

Oddly enuf, I was just lookin up a quote about anger -

http://tinyurl.com/c77eb4z

Best of luck!

Geoff-Allen

Anyone who wants 2 learn about mindfulness could do a LOT worse than checkout this page -

http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=2125

Have a good one!

fivebells

Loving-kindness meditation is a classic antidote for anger, and is also very enjoyable.

vlrox

@rebeccas tHANK YOU SO MUCH, I am bout to check out that website.

Tosh

This is what I've been taught as one method for dealing with anger.

1. Contemplate anger; understand how useless and dangerous it can be.

2. Be mindful and if you can catch your anger early enough, you tell yourself this:

"This anger is caused by me, it has nothing to do with anything external, and definitely has nothing to do with the other person I feel angry at."

When I do this, what happens is, is it causes confusion in me - I know logically that I create the anger, but it really FEELS like it's the other person's fault (normally Mrs Tosh ). It causes enough confusion to shut me up, and gives me enough room for the anger not to take over me, and then for me to react badly.

Try it. It's fun; seriously; see what it does to you.

carmelsinger

I would recommend reading "Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh. It really helped me. I hope it helps you.

vlrox

carmelsinger said:

I would recommend reading "Anger" by Thich Nhat Hanh. It really helped me. I hope it helps you.

Is it called anger; cooling the flames?

Geoff-Allen

For a bit of Thich -

http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=1756

http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=3348

Hope this helps!

FoibleFull

My daughter (age 31) is bi-polar and psychosis N.O.S. (not otherwise specified).
She had to be taken off her long-term medication last year (she had been taking both Lithium carbonate and Clozaril) , as she was starting to develop tardive dyskinesia. She had been on those meds since she was 15, so for her coming off the meds was a journey into a strange land she had no experience with.

For a non-Buddhist, she has devised some distinctly Buddhist-like techniques. She has learned to observe herself. She has learned to experiment with what works and what doesn't. When she sees herself starting on the roller coaster ride of anger or freaking out .. she withdraws from the situation (either physically or just by closing her eyes) and starts breathing evenly and watching her breath, visualizing all tension melting and running down the inside of her body and out the soles of her feet into the ground. If she is starting to freak out because the environment around her is too hectic and it's working her energy up, she visualizes a beautiful multi-colored hooded cloak that she puts on and it shields her. She retreats into the silence of her inner mind (I have no clue how she discovered this without meditation) and rests in it.

I can't say that her techniques will work for you. But we all have the capacity to work with our own awareness, to figure out what works or not. And it starts with self-observation ... which is essentially what meditation is.
You have a good tool, in Buddhism.

Best wishes on your journey of self-discovery.