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When your practice hits a rough patch...
black_tea
Explorer
Ok, I admit, I've been having some trouble lately. My motivation is at an all time low right now. It first started when I had to move, and my entire schedule was utterly disrupted, and then I also had to have my 18 yr old dog put to sleep a little over two weeks ago. That second event really did me in in terms of practice, though I don't know why specifically. I think 'gee, now that I'm all moved in to my new place, I should get back to my regularly scheduled Buddhist programming,' only I feel very ... how to put this, empty about it (and I don't mean emptiness in the Buddhist sense of the word). I don't have any big disagreement with it's teachings, I have no desire to go back to a prior religious path, I'm just having a horrible time getting myself going again. The only things I reliably manage to do is to continue not eating meat and reading on here and Dharma Wheel.
I'm assuming most people hit rough spots along the way -- what things have you guys found helpful in getting focused again?
I'm assuming most people hit rough spots along the way -- what things have you guys found helpful in getting focused again?
0
Comments
What have I done to help myself? Introspection, meditation and deep thought. What was my conclusion? Buddhism is a practice, not an absolute. Why should I limit myself? I can still be a Buddhist and explore other paths.
Condolences for your dog.
Hold your self accountable by reminding yourself.
Post-it notes help me.
Hang a sign on the back of the door.
Remind yourself....right in your face why this
practice is good for you, when to practice, and
what to practice.
The sign will find you, then you'll catch yourself
finding the sign, and before you know it, your
routine will be in place.
Sorry about doggie.
That will throw anyone off their game.
Mine (Shelbie), 16 years old, died in our arms
at home couple of months ago.
Sending Metta.
About the mediation: for me, I've found that just continually trying to sit helps. Even if it ends up being 5 minutes of totally scattered thoughts or 15 mins of zoning out, eventually I get settled into the pattern of sitting and eventually it all starts coming back.
But from I remember, you're a Pure Land Buddhist right? So I guess my tidbit about sitting doesn't really help!
You never know though - from browsing Buddhist forums/websites you might stumble upon something that re-ignites your interest. Sometimes even just forcing yourself to do something you "don't feel like" doing will spark something that will catalyze a renewed motivation.
I turned to Stoic philosophy (which resembles Buddhism in some respects) and tried to incorporate ome of its practices in my daily life. Somehow I knew that this was a temporary detour but that I needed it. On the anniversary of the day my cat died, I finally put away his dish and the small memorial I had for him (his name was Issa, after the haiku poet). It was a celebration of sorts, and a few days after that I picked up my Buddhist practice again, but with more confidence than before.
I'm not necessarily recommending the Stoics or turning away from Buddhism for a full year like I did. But I know that when I was reading Stoic philosophy (and other stoic-related philosophers) I was seeing new connections with Buddhism, looking at things from a fresh angle. So even when I was taking a break from Buddhism, I really wasn't. The same would be true of other wisdom traditions I'm sure. It made coming back more refreshing. ~Rainer Maria Rilke (translated by Stephen Mitchell)
As for the spiritual rough patch... I didn't read the other responses you got so far... I'm in the middle of cooking but wanted to let my fingers fly while the thoughts came into my head- and I only have about 6 more minutes until the timer goes off!
Anyhow, maybe it's one of those times when your subconscious is trying to tell you its time to change things up a bit. Nothing stays the same, everything is constantly shifting and evolving.... can't seem to make yourself find time for meditation?
Well, then perhaps you should just set that aspect of practice aside for a while.... see how you feel about it in a few weeks time. Begin a new focus for your practice. Maybe you need to work on "patience".... or maybe "compassion" or "generosity". Maybe instead of regular sit-down-and-meditate time, you can just make it a point to be mindful and calm while doing yard work, or household chores or whatever needs to be done anyhow.
Speaking from my own experiences, I set aside my meditation a few years back... it had become somewhat of a 'chore' to force myself to do it. I view that as counter -productive. I know others might strongly disagree with that; and believe wholeheartedly that one should always push through the reluctance and get down to it anyhow. And that might work for them, and it might work for you, too. But then again, maybe not. There are millions of Buddhists; kind, compassionate, loving, Dharma walking Buddhists who do not meditate, and don't belong to a sangha, nor study the suttras... they just LIVE Buddhism as best as they can. And it works just fine.
so maybe there's no need to 'give up' Buddhism.... maybe it's just time for some tweaking?
It's nice to have someone suggest the same thing. I know that there are lots of Buddhists who do not focus on meditation, yet it's easy for me to get caught up in the idea that one must meditate in some fashion, since that's the predominate view of Buddhism in the US. There's a Shin book I've thought about downloading for awhile ("Bits of Rubble Turned into Gold"). I think I'm going to go ahead and buy it--maybe it's time to revisit Shin again.
ah the teachings of the dharma police . . .
Mourn your dog (it's allowed), read the gold in the rubble book and be kind to the 'Meditation über alles' SS (Sangha Society).
As I sat in meditation this morning, the thought arose, 'when are you going to start practicing Buddhism?'
I think I may restart this course, which teaches:
'How not to meditate', which may be just what I need . . .
http://aromeditation.org/
Keep up the good work and let us know what you think of the Shin book.
I always thought shin was something below the knee . . . pay no mind to me . . .
:screwy:
To help me maintain the 'regime' I use an app called Insight Meditation Timer:
https://insighttimer.com/
It's very good. You can even 'friend' people and see who has been meditating when and for how long. I'm friends with a couple of guys from A.A. and we found by keeping an eye on each others meditation, it helps us stick to a regular practise.
It also keeps your stats:
How cool am I? And I've done 56 days straight, every ten days you get a star and that's worth all those hours of meditation. The more you do, you get different colour stars.
It's a great app.
I'm 43 by the way.
I also run, and I think meditation is a lot like running. It's tough to start with, but gets easier the longer I do it. 20 minutes felt like a lifetime when I first started, but now 20 minutes of meditation isn't that bad.
And sometimes, just like running, I have to do it even if I don't want to.
If it doesn't happen this way, I find that when I don't feel like practicing, I also don't feel like not practicing, if you get what I mean. So practicing and not practicing are similar to me. I'm a bit indifferent. I can imagine you having this feeling now. Then, I simply practice out of indifference. Not the best motivator, but hey.. Better than not practicing. But I find I have this when things go well, not when things are hard. When things are hard for me, I know doing the practice will make it easier.
That having said, yes, I had some times with very little motivation. Motivation has been one of my key problems, but I picked up the practice anyway. I'm sure you'll also pick it back up. At least, once you've seen some fruits of the practice, there is hardly any turning back. For me at least. I know I'll pick it back up someday, so may just as well be today.
Wish you all the best.
Sabre
@Tosh they really do make apps for everything now
Thanks for all the suggestions everybody as well as the condolences on losing Bridie -- I really do appreciate it. I think I needed to get what was going on off my chest. I feel like when I talk about things with other people (such as on this lovely message board) it keeps me a bit more honest, and it's harder to just walk away from something that I know is a good thing.
I did set up my altar last night on the dresser at the bottom of my steps. Now everytime I go up and down stairs I see it, pause and bow -- not so out of sight out of mind. I will download that book when I get home (almost done with Middlemarch anyway), and work on getting myself back in a better frame of mind.