Practice Advice

UK_NMA

Hi,

For the past 18 months I've been reading Buddhist books, meditating (i could do more) and trying to incorporate as much of the concepts into my daily life as possible. A lot has changed; most notably I have stopped getting angry and find I have a lot more patience with people and tasks.

My practice, if you can call it that, is done in isolation, usually meditating in the morning before work in my office, reading in the evening before I go to bed and trying to watch my mind during the rest of the day. I run a small business so days get very busy and we have a daughter who is 14 months old who also keeps us very busy. Life is good. My wife is supportive but doesn’t really have any interest which is fine and doesn’t have any negative effect on either of our lives. She’s seen the changes it’s brought but if I try to discuss stuff she’s not all that receptive which is also fine, I’d never push my beliefs onto someone else.

The reason for the post is that at times I feel like I’m only doing a bit here and a bit there and not doing things correctly. I am completely sincere about trying to learn from the Buddha’s teachings and improve as a person but sometimes feel like I’m lost. There is so much information in books and on the internet but I have no direction, swaying from here to there with no real sense of direction. Does anyone else feel like this and is there any advice you can provide?

Many thanks!

mindatrisk

I think you are describing what the vast majority of those on this path experience, and not just in the early stages, but throughout their whole life. There are certainly moments of great clarity and insight, but then moments of great confusion and apparent 'lostness'. With experience you will find that these moments of confusion are as important as the moment of clarity, as they provide a catalyst to keep you moving forwards, to keep you asking questions, to keep you focused on your practice, and keep you becoming happier and happier. So, I suggest you embrace your confusion, and in those moments where you feel lost know that you are, in fact, only finding yourself more. You have said nothing here that 99% of us here have not experienced and continue to experience. This is the path! Take heart that you are on it. It's not always easy, but it's worth every step and every struggle. Bless you for being here and sharing your feelings openly.

genkaku

@UK_NMA -- It may sound glib, but I think it is simply true: Patience, courage and doubt are your strongest allies. And among these three, patience may be the most important: Patience as you get it "wrong;" patience as you get it "right;" patience when you understand and patience when you don't; patience as the minutes turn into hours turn into days, turn into weeks, turn into years, turn into lifetimes.

As my mother once observed, "Don't get too holy by next Thursday." Just be patient.

Best wishes to you and your family.

lobster

UK_NMA said:

is there any advice you can provide?

Many thanks!

Keep reading, keep meditating.
Good advice already given.

. . . however you want a regime?
How about this:
http://aromeditation.org/learn-buddhist-meditation.html

Or you could maybe go on a retreat/holiday?
How about an online zendo?
http://www.treeleaf.org/

We can not find the way for you . . . just point to possible directions . . .

and trying to watch my mind during the rest of the day

Excellent, you could become enlightened any decade now . . .

how

@UK_NMA
Sorry....All you are describing is reality.
This is just the consequences of a sincere practice.
My advise would be to not advise you but to simply
bow.

Invincible_summer

UK_NMA said:

The reason for the post is that at times I feel like I’m only doing a bit here and a bit there and not doing things correctly. I am completely sincere about trying to learn from the Buddha’s teachings and improve as a person but sometimes feel like I’m lost. There is so much information in books and on the internet but I have no direction, swaying from here to there with no real sense of direction. Does anyone else feel like this and is there any advice you can provide?

Many thanks!

@UK_NMA - what do you see as "correct" practice?

The urge for progress is definitely something I think most of us can relate to. I've jumped around different meditation styles because of that urge. It all comes down to being comfortable with the stillness that accompanies a steady meditation practice.

Imagine your mind is a cup of water. Because you've practiced meditation, it's now perfectly still, no ripples. But because you think it should be in another place, you pick it up and move it a bit. Now the ripples return, and it takes some time to regain that stillness again. Sometimes it's best to leave it alone.

lobster

Now the ripples return, and it takes some time to regain that stillness again.

Raspberry ripples are still
available?

AllbuddhaBound

how said:

@UK_NMA
Sorry....All you are describing is reality.
This is just the consequences of a sincere practice.
My advise would be to not advise you but to simply
bow.

I love it when things are simple.

shadowleaver

Having a group of people to practice with helped me tremendously. Sangha is considered a jewel for a good reason. Doesn't have to be a big center or temple..just a few Dharma buddies would already be great help. Once initial excitement wears off, it is very difficult to go it alone, even though I persisted for 5 years:)

Good luck to you!

bookworm

Learn the pali language thats what i'm planning on doing once i decide to find a teacher. The Buddha said when the student is ready then the teacher will appear.

UK_NMA

Guys, thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I’ve thought about each of your posts and taken on board your advice. I have to be patient and continue to meditate and just be grateful that I’ve found the path. There’s much work to be done but hopefully by practising patiently and with sincerity development and increased clarity will come.

lobster said:

. . . however you want a regime?
How about this:
http://aromeditation.org/learn-buddhist-meditation.html

I have subscribed to this, thank you!

Best wishes to you all!

lobster

I have subscribed to this, thank you!

It is a brilliant course. Excellent advice on posture, breath and methods. Very clear and graduated. They give you 'homework'. Just a weekly email . . .
I had no inclination to join the aro group but recommend their course.

Best of Luck

mindatrisk

UK_NMA said:

Guys, thank you all so much for taking the time to respond. I’ve thought about each of your posts and taken on board your advice. I have to be patient and continue to meditate and just be grateful that I’ve found the path. There’s much work to be done but hopefully by practising patiently and with sincerity development and increased clarity will come.

lobster said:

. . . however you want a regime?
How about this:
http://aromeditation.org/learn-buddhist-meditation.html

I have subscribed to this, thank you!

Best wishes to you all!

My friend, you are blessed beyond any comprehension. You have nothing at all to worry about. Enjoy it all. Every crazy turn, doubt, question, confusion, obstacle... it all serves a purpose, it all helps. I'm 13 years into my journey now and not once have I taken a wrong turn - at the time it certainly seemed I did, but it all comes together and makes sense further down the road. You are better than fine. Every day, from the bottom of your heart, give thanks for this journey, however it might appear to you, it is in fact perfection... always perfection.

riverflow

shadowleaver said:

Having a group of people to practice with helped me tremendously. Sangha is considered a jewel for a good reason. Doesn't have to be a big center or temple..just a few Dharma buddies would already be great help. Once initial excitement wears off, it is very difficult to go it alone, even though I persisted for 5 years:)

Good luck to you!

I want to second @shadowleaver 's recommendation to practice with a sangha if at all possible. I practices "freelance" for two years, reading plenty of books. Books are good, but practicing with a sangha opens a whole new dimension which has to be experienced. It is also helpful to keep your practice down-to-earth and not straying much into useless theoretical matters unrelated to your current practice (in the long run, this is not helpful).

It's like the difference between listening to a well-produced studio recording and hearing a live, energetic performance of a band.

Of course, a sangha might be difficult to find, depending on where you are and your weekly work routine. But if the option is available to you, I cannot more highly recommend it.

Three jewels are better than one or two. The Buddha, Dharma, and the sangha all mutually support one another.

riverflow

And I can personally vouch for Treeleaf (echoing @lobster recommendation) if a flesh-and-blood sangha isn't available to you. I practiced with them for a time. They are good people and Jundo and Taigu are both good teachers in the Soto Zen tradition.

I do think a sangha is essential for practice. It is fine to begin as a "freelancer" but practicing with a sangha bumps it up several notches.

footiam

UK_NMA said:

Hi,

For the past 18 months I've been reading Buddhist books, meditating (i could do more) and trying to incorporate as much of the concepts into my daily life as possible. A lot has changed; most notably I have stopped getting angry and find I have a lot more patience with people and tasks.

My practice, if you can call it that, is done in isolation, usually meditating in the morning before work in my office, reading in the evening before I go to bed and trying to watch my mind during the rest of the day. I run a small business so days get very busy and we have a daughter who is 14 months old who also keeps us very busy. Life is good. My wife is supportive but doesn’t really have any interest which is fine and doesn’t have any negative effect on either of our lives. She’s seen the changes it’s brought but if I try to discuss stuff she’s not all that receptive which is also fine, I’d never push my beliefs onto someone else.

The reason for the post is that at times I feel like I’m only doing a bit here and a bit there and not doing things correctly. I am completely sincere about trying to learn from the Buddha’s teachings and improve as a person but sometimes feel like I’m lost. There is so much information in books and on the internet but I have no direction, swaying from here to there with no real sense of direction. Does anyone else feel like this and is there any advice you can provide?

Many thanks!

Since you feel you have being doing just a bit in meditation, you could probably made it up by doing more in keeping the precepts. Just do good in all your undertakings. You'd probably find that itself is good meditation.