Meditations of Grayman
Grayman
Veteran
I don't necessarily expect anyone to read this but tips and opinions are welcome if you are. 
5/8/14
Open-Mind Meditation: 30 minutes
I considered the one where you concentrate on a single thing but my mind is often trapped in its own little world and I want to move away from it and feel what is going on around me more. That is why I chose Open-Minded.
Breathing: I wanted to focus on my breathing and hearing and all my senses. The greatest focus was on my breathing. My goal was to not control my breathing and let it flow. That was really difficult. The moment paid attention to my breathing my mind was taking control. I would feel like I needed a breath and then end up forcing myself to take one in and then I felt I didn't need a breath but my lungs never went to auto-pilot as they were waiting on my to tell them to do something. I found that if I concentrate more on the movement of air than my lungs muscles moving then the muscles would do their thing without me. At most I got maybe 6 seconds of interrupted observation of the breathing before I accidently took control again.
Thoughts were surprisingly easier: They would surface and I would let them go but when they involved my breathing and how I was failing they would stick and that was a problem.
Awareness: My sense of awareness had increased. Sounds were much more noticeable and I could hear things I never noticed before. The only hiccup was in my sensitivity to sound the neighbors car door made my jump and send many thoughts into my head considering the occurrence.
After: Actually my thoughts were a lot quieter. I did feel slightly more relaxed like I was on vacation vs just getting off work. When I tried to concentrate on reading something it was like grabbing water. I am not sure if that is normal.
Comments
Congratulations! You are making good progress.
@Grayman
Three quick tips...
Tip one. Although there are countless possible ways to view the breath, it's main purpose is just providing an alternative to focusing on our own myopic mentality.
Mentally affecting your breath instead of just watching it is kind of defeating the purpose of meditating on your breath.
Tip two. Thoughts are seldom a problem when your eyes, ears, nose, tongue and body are given equal attention. Next time your thoughts really start dominating, check out what other sense gates have being shut down to facilitate it's central position on stage.
Tip three. Relax into the meditation. What ever inclines one to micro manage the process knows zip about what the meditation is.
Excellent advice @How
Find a teacher of Buddhist meditation.
They do not need to be a Buddha.
They just need to know more than you, and to be able to communicate that.
It will save you years.
Possibly decades.
I have been focussing on sounds a lot recently, and occasionally the loud unexpected noises that make you jump, also wake you up - that was not a hiccup
It's the surprises that often bring you to full attention.
I agree with @Citta a little help and guidance can speed things up, but wheres the fun and self-discovery in that! It's your path, thanks for sharing the experience.
Grabbing water, I like that image.
If self discovery is the aim, then Buddhist meditation might not be the thing.
To quote Ajahn Sumedho'
" Sometimes people tell me that they are self taught and that they have been meditating for 10 years.
Sometimes though it becomes clear that actually they have one years experience 10 times.
We need input from someone who is objective. "
A lot of unnecessary dukkha can arise from trial and error.
There comes a point when we start to encounter stuff that is unique to us..but for most of us that's some way off.
Thank you for the great expression of the mahayana perspective @Citta. You have to choose your teacher wisely.
Ajahn Sumedho is a Theravadin teacher.
For me I try not to get caught up in it- though I have. I mean there really is no wrong way to breath and me thinking about my breathing is just more thinking. When issues come up (whether in daily activities or formal meditation) I remind myself not to " make a problem out of the "problem". By allowing it to be it seems to diminish of its own accord. Bob
I appreciate that but I am a person who seeks my own path but loves input. For me, the wrong roads are as important as the correct one as they help bring in perspective the importance of what you find on the right one. Even if I know the right path I tread the others to learn and understand to add relativity. In the end I want to not only be on the right road but to know its pieces, to understand it, and to appreciate its significance.
As I said... lol
Did you ?
@Città, I think that was intended as humour....
I am a simple soul @federica.
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Do not make the mistake of thinking that by finding a teacher your must abdicate your own path. A teacher is just another form of input albeit an educated or advanced one. A Teacher could be good, bad, in tune with your objectives or at odds with them. Nevertheless you will still learn something even if it is that what they teach isn't for you.
When you choose the path of no path @Grayman, where you take responsibility for your awakening, then everyone becomes your teacher, including yourself; and by that self-same definition you are defined as a mahayana buddhist, you cannot achieve the goal bon your own if everything is interdependent. So even a Theravadan teacher is revealed as a mahayana teacher, even if that was not their intention.
How can you tell one road is right and another wrong if someone more experienced does not point it out for you?
If I want to become a cook, there is no relative way to prepare a custard or a mayonnaise, no matter how subjective and personal I want to be.
If I want to be a Buddhist or a Christian or a Jew, I have to pledge to a certain ethos which lends itself to little subjectivity. Otherwise it is not Buddhism or Christianity or Judaism. It is my personal path.
I believe we are all on our own path regardless of which one we choose and my adherence to the unenforceable is only know by me. As J. Krishnamurti said - "The truth is a pathless land" I too welcome input though.
You can throw things together in an educated way and see what results. If the result looks like a cake and smells like a cake but tastes like shit, then you may need to leave out the bull shit and add sugar next time.
Either way you have to taste the cake in the end, and refine what ingredients go in next time; admittedly having a master chef may be useful for mass and repeated consumption; but even if it looks nice, you're the one going to eat its fruit. And you know what the ingredients are.
What is encased in a professional experience? If meditation is peaceful calm and mostly receptive without reaction what interaction could be beneficial?
Even without a Buddha behind you, a cushion under you and years of meditation before and behind you, the answer is obvious? No?
:buck: :wave: