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Housing estates are microcosms of politics....

Any experiences of the politics of living in a housing estate. ? Huge politics where I live. Who is friends with who? Who talks about who? Who is judged in their absence.
I've removed myself from all the politics, I always have. Then you are judged for not being sociable enough.


  • SocairSocair Veteran

    None of this worries me. Its just an observation and I'd be interested in hearing about others experiences

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I don't live on a housing estate, but on a small close with 4 individual apartments, each suitable for 2 people. I know all my neighbours: There's John & Jane, downstairs (new residents, moved in a month ago, very nice.) Steve (works at the same place as my H; very shy, keeps himself to himself, likes the quiet life, but is a nice guy.) Tony, (retired builder and labourer, widower, smokes too much, has one son (also widower!) and is a really nice person, we're lucky to have such a great neighbour!) and in one apartment just across from our block, we've got Ken; partly deaf, and a real 'old woman' but pleasant enough in small doses, bless him. A scrounger if ever there was one; bit of an opportunist, but harmless.

    I know the other residents in the other blocks-of-4, to see, but we don't socialise all that much, whereas the occupants of the three other residences in my block, all pretty much get on really well.
    No politics to speak of, really; Life is peaceful where we live.... :)

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    While that stuff will happen in any type of community or neighborhood, I refuse to live in things like HOAs for exactly that reason. We don't pay for our home and yard and utilities just to be told how to use them.

    We live in a very small town, and everyone knows everyone's business. Including family business back many generations. It adds an interesting dynamic to political issues. Almost everything that happens comes down to politics and it's amusing to watch because the people who are the most outraged are usually the people who have kids who make the trouble they are outraged about, LOL. We had a vandalization issue this past weekend and some people are calling for hanging and drowning those responsible (some new, small trees at a memorial were damaged). The people calling for such ridiculousness are the parents of the kids who most frequently are in that area vandalizing things. SMH.

    But it should be no surprise that what we see on a national or even international political stage is just a macrocosm of what goes on not just in our neighborhoods, but in our homes and in our minds. What we have in politics didn't just happen. WE created it. Even if we didn't vote for so-and-so we contribute to the extreme levels of duality that politics brings about.

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @karasti, I know what you mean about the loudest protesters being the ones whose children are actually culpable...
    Some neighbours of mine, many, many years ago, used to work in Social Welfare, and were staff members at a remand centre for young offenders.

    Almost every night, they would have local residents beating on the main door, protesting that cars were being vandalised, shop windows broken, and mayhem taking place because the young offenders were let loose and creating havoc - only to be told, "We have done a full roll-call and everyone is in. I'm sorry to tell you that none of the residents here are actually off the premises." There was a curfew, and woe betide anyone who broke it.
    So the local residents would then call the Police - and find their own children on their doorsteps a while later, with the 'friendly hand' of a Police officer on their shoulders....

  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    When I was very much younger, in the 1970's, it used to be a case of just picking your friends and trying to get along, and developing a skin thick enough to ignore some of the small sniping that inevitably happened.

    You can usually find 3-4 people you can get on with pretty well, and you can stand with them as friends against others. There are always little cliques that form. Troublemaker families are often on their own.

    But generally, if you follow the Noble Eightfold Path, you will find a lot of these troubles gently move out of the way. You don't end up mixing in sniping or gossip, you don't end up lieing or stealing... the most you deal with is troubles over toys which the children are refusing to return.

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    @Kerome I assumed he wasn't talking as much about just neighborhood politics (I experience much the same as you describe) but the actual politics of organized housing areas. There are neighborhoods that are set up with a board of people who make rules about what you can do with your home. It means people who are picky about some things can live in a whole neighborhood that way rather than just their yard. So the board makes rules like "you cannot have a basketball hoop on your driveway after 5pm" or "you can only have flowers of a certain height" or "you can have flowers but you cannot grow vegetables" or "you must mow your lawn every 7 days" etc. they maintain strict control over the houses under their neighborhood contracts. I don't know if those are common in other areas or not, they are in the US though. The home are usually built together by one developer and then a committee/board is formed to make the rules and you have to agree to abide by them if you buy a home there.

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think 'Merica! Veteran

    Years ago I used to do some sub contracting work at some home associations. Being a sub I didn't deal with the boards directly but I'd hear stories about the politics and the minor tyrants that would come to power and wield it like a sledgehammer. The people who want to be on the boards are usually of the control freak variety but lack the experience and decorum of most politicians so meetings become these huge power struggles that break down into real nastiness.

  • SocairSocair Veteran
    edited April 2017

    Mainly in our estate its cliques, gossip, and one recent arrival spreads malicious gossip and twists truths into something she can use to badmouth people. Ive met people who seemed on the face of it genuine, but very quickly decended into badmouthing or gossiping about people who were not present. I cant abide that and I say it up front that im not interested in speaking ill of anyone, let alone people who arent present to speak up for themselves. I think the families who dont get involved in the gossip are deemed "no fun" or "weirdos". Im ok with that. Once I dont compromise my integrity and values Im happy.

  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator

    @Hozan you live in the Desperate Housewives neighborhood, don't you! :scream: Never actually watched that show but my dad did and used to tell me about it, :lol: We have a lot of the similar in our small town. Everyone already knows everyone else's business, and so they make big assumptions and arrive at false conclusions and then share them as if they are fact. Rumors are awful. Usually the gossip queens get what's coming to them though. Eventually they are the subject of the gossip.

  • SocairSocair Veteran

    Wheres the log cabin in the woods when you need it.....


  • SocairSocair Veteran

    @karasti definitely soap opera territory here at times...but i've switched off the tv....

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