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I'm having issues with finding where I belong?
Phew! Its been a while since I've posted here. I'm glad to be back.
My whole life has been a struggle with religion. I have always questioned what I was taught, and my parents are devout Christians. About two years ago, I stumbled across Buddhism (I'm only very young, I'm just turning 16 in September) my Dad was reading a Dalai Lama book and I borrowed it. Then I started digging and really got into it, and I really felt at home. The past few moths I've drifted away from it. I found another religion, that felt right. But then, it sorta faded away, and I've just held onto it without ever actually believing. Its almost just out of convenience, first off is it normal to be like this? Constantly changing my mind?
Well I guess all I'm asking is for a little advice.
My whole life has been a struggle with religion. I have always questioned what I was taught, and my parents are devout Christians. About two years ago, I stumbled across Buddhism (I'm only very young, I'm just turning 16 in September) my Dad was reading a Dalai Lama book and I borrowed it. Then I started digging and really got into it, and I really felt at home. The past few moths I've drifted away from it. I found another religion, that felt right. But then, it sorta faded away, and I've just held onto it without ever actually believing. Its almost just out of convenience, first off is it normal to be like this? Constantly changing my mind?
Well I guess all I'm asking is for a little advice.
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Comments
You are maybe still finding your religious feet in my opinion, which is totally fine of course. I believe that we should never be told to believe in a faith or even brought up to, this has always seemed incorrect to me. My parents never christened me as a baby which was and still is the norm where I was born, even if most of those babies grow up to not follow the religion at all, they left it up to me to decide when I was old enough to.
Things happen in our life that affect where we go, which path we take and what we want.
If you break down a religion to its absolute basic core, it teaches loving kindness and purity. Everything else in between is slightly different, but all religions if followed correctly lead to this. Depending on mental disposition decides which faith you will have, if any at all. Buddhism teaches as you may know that we should not disregard a persons faith as it holds the power to bring happiness and love to that persons life and for those that surround it.
I would say to you that follow what you feel is right, where you feel best following a certain path and can see the progress. It may change as you get older and that is fine, but look at the here and now and find out what works best for you, tom
It does take a long time and progress is very gradual in my experience. We are a generation which has become very lazy and wanting things quickly. The profound fruits of buddhism com with time, so I wish you all the best
Remember, you should follow what you believe and what works best for, whatever that may be,
tom
To my mind, what you just said is an oxymoron. If you have to struggle with it, then obviously it isn't right for you. Your spirituality should find you, not the other way around. If it's a struggle, then something's wrong.
Congratulations! That's a WONDERFUL first step! Keep doing it!!
Define: "normal". What's normal for me might not be so for you, nor vice-versa. You're you, and you have to do, think, and feel what's right for you. It matters not one teenie little bit what anyone else thinks about it. You've already answered this question (see #2 above).
Do what feels right and natural. If you're truly interested in Buddha dharma, then simply recognize the wisdom of the four noble truths, and try to follow the eightfold path and it's really hard to go wrong!
Mtns
So, you're 15. Why do you want to have a religion, why is it important to you? For me, when I was younger I always hated religion, thinking it was stupid and dogmatic, but once in a while being jealous of people who believed in God. I just couldn't do it though because I didn't really believe. And then, all hell broke loose in my life. I was almost 21 and suddenly terrified of life. I still can't quite explain it, but it happened, and I have dealt with anxiety ever since. And that's when I found Buddhism. That's why I practice it, because it's essential to my life.
So that's why I ask, why do you want to have this figured out? Do keep questioning things, and always look for ways to apply whatever religion you feel comfortable with to your life. Ajahn Brahm always says, "Don't bend reality to fit the religion, bend the religion to fit the reality." So my advice is to live, just live.
So, in summery, my advice is to not worry about it so much. Just enjoy life and keep an open mind.
I think it might be better to regard yourself as 'exploring' rather than 'changing your mind'. As others have noticed, you're 15! Don't worry too much about getting it all right in this moment, no matter what path you take, just look around you and let what you find sink in. From there, you'll develop a personal taste for what you'd like out of life. 'Deciding' is very overrated.
Be curious! Explore!
With warmth,
Matt
I certainly don't think it's abnormal, and I myself have bounced around quite a bit when it comes to these things (e.g., interests have ranged from Satanism, Paganism and extreme atheism to Buddhism, Orthodox Christianity and a host of ancient Greek philosophies such as Stoicism, Epicureanism, etc). My advice is to keep an open mind and simply enjoy the privilege of being able to explore anything that happens to pique your interest. You don't have to pick just one to learn from. Take whatever seem useful and inspiring and leave the rest behind.
As a teenager I also studied the works of Anton LaVey, who in reality ripped much of his work from other sources (Aleister Crowley, Ayn Rand, Nietzsche, Wiccan and Christian rituals, etc). I think it can be very appealing partially because it plays on your own desirous urges and delusions - saying that you should embrace your anger, your greed, your lust, and just go with it.
I'm really glad I went through that phase (as well as many others I don't care to recall :rolleyes:) as it helped me to grow and learn. I know better now!
Thank you for your encouragement, you know... to know that you are lacking in knowledge is the first key to getting the knowledge, accepting the fact that I dont know. My poor little brain is trying to cope with all this info.