Best Of
Re: Perfectionism
The other problem as I see it, is that people identify with what they don't like. It was Tim Minchin in a recent talk, that opened my eyes to this. We personify ourselves by the things that irk us... as he described, He realised he was doing this when somebody asked him what kind of music he liked and he replied, negatively, that he doesn't listen to radio, because he doesn't think good songs are being written... then again, someone else, asked what their favourite cuisine was, replying with, "I can't stand this habit of putting balsamic vinegar on everything... " or me, being asked my favourite breed of dog, revealing that those that slobber actually turn my stomach...
We identify with the negative and thus present ourselves in a negative light. If we were instead to focus on what we find to be good about something, it might make us in turn, more detached and more pleasant, focusing on the positive....
federica
Re: Gratitude/Thanksgiving (US)
I've never met you, @Jason, yet I love you deeply, unconditionally and with all my heart. I have the same attitude towards @Brian and @Linc, even though I'm sure at times, you must all think me a bit of an old biddy fusspot, with strange ideas.
And I have a deep, abiding and strong affection for all the members here, particularly those who have been fellow travellers by my side for a long time.
Believe me when I tell you, the internal struggle I fight, on the rare occasions I have to apply my Moderator skills on those I consider friends, is considerable and painful. It genuinely grieves my heart to admonish those whom I have known for so long. That is when my heart and mind are ripped apart and in conflict. It's hard. I never find it an easy thing to implement.
So I too am grateful for the support, the kindness, the generosity and friendship shown to me on this site.
I may not have always made the most agreeable or popular decisions, but the backup I have received from members here has never failed to stun me, amaze me, and humble me. That so many people I have never actually met, can be so kind supportive and giving, is a true and rare, precious jewel.
Believe my love and gratitude. I assure you, they are both real and sincere.
federica
Gratitude/Thanksgiving (US)
Thanksgiving. It can be hard for many to appreciate the mindset of gratitude or thanksgiving when they're confronted by the history of the holiday itself. The mythologized celebration at Plymouth in 1621, for instance, belies the tragic fate of the indigenous peoples of the Americas that unfolded under colonialism, Manifest Destiny, the 19th century policy of native population removal, and countless broken treaties. And Lincoln's creation of a national day of "Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens" in 1863 was set within the bloody context of what many consider to be the deadliest war in American history, containing within it the hope of some future peace and harmony.
Today, it seems like it's more about food, football, and a prelude to the consumeristic orgy of Black Friday than a recollection of all the things that we're grateful for, mythologized or not. At least that's how it seems to me. But the idea of gratitude itself is something I've grown to appreciate. My life hasn't always been the best, and I haven't always been the best person; but there are numerous people and things I find myself grateful for if I reflect on it, yet I find that I rarely seem to have the time or mindfulness to cultivate that sense of gratitude and appreciation. It's not really a priority in our culture, and it's an easy thing for us to overlook. I'm reminded of the Buddha's words in AN 2.118: "These two people are hard to find in the world. Which two? The one who is first to do a kindness, and the one who is grateful and thankful for a kindness done."
The world can be a harsh and lonely place sometimes, and there are so many people I'm thankful for, too many to list. I just feel terribly grateful at this moment for the many acts and words of kindness given to me over the years. I'm especially grateful for the people who have helped me expand my knowledge over the years, so that I'm not only aware of the somber history that my high school textbooks completely glossed over but my own agency in fighting to change things and right past wrongs. And I'm also grateful for the many people who have entered my life and made it one worth living, including those who sent me such kind messages today.
I hope everyone has a good day/night regardless of where you live; and if you've taken the time to read this, I want to encourage you to take some time to cultivate a sense of gratitude and share that with the people around you in the coming days. I was personally surprised by how joyful the first message of appreciation I received today made me, and I want to help pass that feeling along to others. And part of that is to say how much I appreciate this site and all the people here, including my good friends @Brian, @Linc, and @federica.
Jason
Re: Dare we update the dharma?
Drop the archaic, keep the pertinent. The New Testament would be a pamphlet if they did that...
federica
Re: Retrospective of a spiritual search
@Kerome said:
It describes his initial enthusiasm and his naive assumption that the rest of the world would be interested in hearing the message that a new enlightened master was abroad in the world.
I can relate to this! I recall banging on to people close to me about Buddhism (I still do it occasionally now) with the expectation that they'd go "Wow!!" and suddenly want to follow the same path. 
Bunks
Re: Just for fun: the random, useless announcements thread!
I dreamed about Donald Trump last night - dreamed I met him on the street somewhere, and he invited me to go to a restaurant with him. when the check came, he said he was out of cash and I'd have to pay the tab. There was more, but the theme was similar. I hope he goes to bother someone else tonight - preferably one of his own partisans.
Fosdick
Re: Just for fun: the random, useless announcements thread!
Something small to celebrate:
Don't know if this is the appropriate thread, but here goes.
My wife has been bed bound for more than 15 months. Part of her problem is a seriously pinched nerve in her back. an MRI was taken last year showing a sever blockage of her spine. It was pinched, had a some fat tissue blocking it and other oddities. while she has a long way to go before she can stand or walk, one item did change.
The MRI of her spine showed the fat tissue gone, no foreign debris, no blockage of the nerve. The Dr said this is very rare - people with deteriorating spinal columns generally do not improve. as I said, a long long way to go but a step up is a step up.
Peace to all
Lionduck
Re: Just for fun: the random, useless announcements thread!
Announcement: I am no longer gonna sit by and complain about the shallow and materialistic trappings of Christmas, only then to fall and give in to the social pressures, expectations and guilt of giving to friends and loved ones who already have plenty and then some....who some won't appreciate it anyway....and admit that I fell into it even more when we climbed the income ladder. This year and every year going forward, I will be making charitable donations in their names, and they will be getting a card in the mail or in person saying just that....Including my 2 teenage children still at home . If any of them feels some type of way about it....tough shit!
Vastmind
Re: Buddhist quotes
When you are with others, watch your speech.
When you are alone, watch your mind.
Pabongka Rinpoche
http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/22512/favorite-buddhist-quote
lobster
Re: Buddhist quotes
"All the various types of teachings and spiritual paths are related to the different capacities of understanding that different individuals have. There does not exist, from an absolute point of view, any teaching which is more perfect or effective than another.
A teaching's value lies solely in the inner awakening which an individual can arrive at through it. If a person benefits from a given teaching, for that person that teaching is the supreme path, because it is suited to his or her nature and capacities. There's no sense in trying to judge it as more or less elevated in relation to other paths to realization."
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~Chögyal Namkhai Norbu Rinpoche.
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Emaho!
Jeffrey