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Who is married or partnered with another faith?
B5C
Veteran
My wife is a Christian. Before I started leaning Buddhism. We have been skipping church for about two months because I was working for two months with a lot of Sunday opening shifts. During that time I was thinking and studying Buddhism at the time. Now I am at the point where I am fulling getting into the idea of being a Buddhist. She wants to go back to Church the problem is that she doesn't want to go without me. Now I have to find a good solution to this problem. Also note I have good friends at the Church and I do miss them. 
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Of course you could go to church with her.
Yet, I could be asking a silly question too.
Yeah, I know. Buddhists are really scary people, aren't we?
During the Rains Retreat (when the monks are on retreat) guest speakers are invited to give talks at the Dhamma Centre that I attend. The past two weeks the speakers have been Anglicans. I think this reflects well both on the Buddhist community and the Anglican community. Why can't we live in harmony and learn from each other?
You meant that as a joke but - seriously - Buddhism is a very dangerous philosophy - it teaches people to think.
Now you cannot have too much of that going around otherwise dreadful things being happening like peace breaking out all over the world, like people being house, fed and educated, like respect and tolerance. Very, very dangerous for ideologies that would declare that we are in competition with each other and the winner takes all.
So, that's all fine and dandy. The problems come when the topic of children comes up. She want me to tell them I believe in God because, she feels like if they have an option of being atheist, they will take it. That's meant to be a bad thing for some reason. I feel like religion is a personal choice and shouldn't be forced or encouraged.
Anyway, I don't see a point of worrying about it now. I'd rather cross that bridge when/if we come to it.
Mine is too. I'm quite fascinated by the whole thing actually. Strangely, whenever I mention Buddhism, her general response is along the likes of "Oh, yep ok" then she quickly changes the subject. Do Buddhists and Hindus have some sort of conflict that I'm not aware of?
I told her "Well, I am learning a lot right now, so naturally, I want to talk about it" then she sort of saw where I was coming from and was more open for discussion. It's also good 'cause I can ask her about the real meaning of some Sanskrit words... though she doesn't know most of them.
As for why it's dismissed, I don't know. I think it's seen as a sort of Western fad and I think there are some scams in India presented as Buddhism which Westerners fall for. Another perspective might be that it's seen as something derived from Hinduism.
Either way, it's seen as a small and unimportant fad in comparison to Hinduism.
I am not sure about this though, so I'll ask her about it and get back to you.
My wife has a phobia of fleas. She is getting better though. First time our cat got fleas. My wife locked herself in the bathroom for a few hours.
If it's important to her, then I say go to church. I went to a Greek Orthodox church a couple of weeks ago just for the hell of it and I didn't burst into flames or anything.
It might have something to do with the whole "no such thing as an independent self" idea. I could be wrong, but I think Hinduism has a belief in the reincarnation of an independent self.
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I think this discussion is interesting for me because I was a fundamentalist Christian and my girlfriend is Christian, she’s looser with her beliefs than I was-fortunately. My undergraduate degree was from an evangelical college and my degree was a B.S. in Religious Studies, i.e., a theological degree. My specialty was the study of the Pauline Epistles and dispensational theology, which happens to be quite popular nowadays. At any rate, I studied philosophy and got into the “soft” and “hard” sciences as well. Through many questions and much critical thought, I could no longer hold to the idea of a ‘god’ or the whole supernatural superstructure that is often seen in the monotheistic religions. So, this topic hits really close to home for me.
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I consider myself buddhistic and atheistic. I would broadly define my developing philosophy as dharmic humanism. My humanism is modified greatly by dharmic thought here. Needless to say, this stance is utterly opposite of my previous life as a Christian fundamentalist-conservative. I do think that we must be cautious in handling this issue both privately and most certainly-nationally!
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Fortunately we can safely segregate people who happen to be Christian from their Christianity. Also, there are numerous sects and splinters of this (as with all) religion. So, in a sense, it’s good that we cannot generalize too much. However, orthodox Christianity (and its more conservative versions) does offer positions that make it incompatible with much of Buddhist thought. I find nothing inherently wrong with a Buddhist going to church per se. But, I’m not sure that’s all there is to it. One must search himself/herself and ask if one is comfortable with the theological language that is often utilized in certain church traditions, and, as result, one might well inquire what potential impact (psychological and spiritual) such language has or can have on one’s relationships. I do think that the dharma path, broadly speaking, can lead one to have inner peace with Christians and much of its teachings. Thus, certainly one can have intimate relationships with Christians while following the Dharma. However, the exclusionary language that defines the contours of the Christian faith makes clear that Christianity, in its orthodox and conservative forms, can have no peace with dharmic thought. I do believe that it is important to be aware of that condition lest it have a negative impact on the more essential aspect of one’s life, namely, one’s relationships. One should listen carefully to what’s being taught, advocated, and nurtured in those ecclesiastical environments. My sister’s church, for example, is quite explicit about the evils of homosexuality, woman’s rights, your own personal worthlessness (God chooses to place value on you and that’s what makes you of value, according to this their view), a strong dislike for the poor, and an utter intolerance for other belief systems (just to name a few evils). By being aware of these divisive tendencies, we can better attempt looking for similarities between us as well as try to advocate for ever more tolerant versions of this (as well as all) religion before those we have intimate relationships with.
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On the national and world stage, however, the situation requires, I think, a much more unyielding, but compassionate, stance. Like genes, these, and similar, ideas attempt to spread across all boundaries and create a sociality of intolerance, hatred, and ignorance. While we are bound to see the dharma insights of respecting others in this enlightened way, we also see, with equal light, the need for peaceful-compassionate protest of such thinking by use of our most reasoned of thoughts.
Thanks all for the discussion,
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Eric D.
Ah. My GF hates that I do anything that she thinks is trying to copy her. I've had Buddhist ideas since before I even knew her, even though she knows all about my Christian family. Totally poo-poos my interest in Buddhism. She's from the Caribbean, and I happen to like different kinds of Caribbean music, and always have, but she also dismisses that whenever I bring it up...the list goes on. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make though. She's otherwise practically perfect.
I've figured out that much but I think she thinks I'm trying too hard to be like her or something. I had a life before her! Gah!